Lazy Eye

Hey everyone! I know it's been awhile, but I have finally finished another poem! It is written in Iambic Pentameter. For every four lines, the syllables go 7, 7, 8, 8. Criticizm is welcome. Enjoy!

Lazy Eye, why do you stay?!
Why can't you just go away?!
You make me look like I am drunk,
I will not tolerate this junk!
You hang there just like a sloth
And it makes me very wroth!
Though everyone pays you no mind,
To me you appear very shined.
And each day in the mirror
All you do is get clearer.
Raised fists at pellucid glass
I'm ready to kick someone's a*s!
I stop and realize there's no point,
And we decided to be joint.
Though I do not like you there,
We must always stay a pair.
So, Lazy Eye you're here to stay.
I guess you cannot go away.

Reviews

[Nailah Baniti]

Peace, wow, poetic rendition of SELF-LOVE. Accepting oneself is freedom! Soulful write, truly soulful

[Dalton Wagoner]

Thank you for your positive words. Thank you for being here! :-)

[Hyacinth]

This is amazing. Haha. Keep it up!

[Dalton Wagoner]

I will be sure to!!! :-)

[Bear]

Ha! Ha! I love it, but have a suggestion for the first line, consider STRAY rather that STAY, because it never looks where you want it to :~)

[Dalton Wagoner]

That's actually a great idea!

[kanyinsola okafor]

Good job, your use of iambic parameter rocks.

[Dalton Wagoner]

Thanks, much appreciated!