Three Women and a Baby

A father's sweet but clumsy attempts to fit into a family of all women.

Being the only man in a household of three women can be challenging at times. Because they were born girls, they inevitably and  naturally formed their own private club. Oh, I’m invited to a meeting occasionally and I am welcome to stay as long as I remain very still and very quiet. Since this is nearly impossible for me, I have been kicked out of most meetings.

They have their own language and customs which I barely comprehend and my attempts at conversation are usually met with blank stares. I think they are astonished that I am still trying to make a connection. I know it’s best for everyone if I just sit there and stare into my craft brew, but I yearn to be a part of this aspect of the family. Out of desperation, I resort to silly, ill-timed humor �" awful jokes and puns �" to get attention. Sometimes I will dance for them, hoping for at least a glance or even a raised eyebrow.

I even ready a story on line entitled “How to Care for Your Cuticles”, with the aim of making friends with them. But they are clever and they saw right through my cheap ploy. So now I am back to practicing quietness and stillness. Maybe I will be invited back to a meeting some day.

Maybe I’ll be invited to live back inside the house and I won’t have to sleep on a cot in the garage anymore.

Maybe they will give me space heater. It can get really cold out here, alone, in the dark with nothing but my cuticles to keep me company.

Maybe.