Today

I'm not sure what to write here, because it really just describes itself. The reason behind writing it was that I was feeling very down, and I wanted to express those feelings.

Two months. It felt like forever, yet it had only been two months. Two months, since he'd last stopped kissing me. Two months, since he'd last stopped hugging me. Two months, since he'd last stopped loving me...

In the dark I roll over, to touch the pillow still fresh with the scent of him. For a moment I can imagine that he's still here, the light in the bathroom covered by his silhouette. My breath catches, momentarily, and he's gone. The bed, meant for two, now barely filled by one. The flat, meant for us, now rarely used by me. My heart which has known such happiness now answers to the call of melancholy, that darkest of emotions. Entrapment is easy...escape, impossible.

It is hard to take my hand, from the pillow that used to belong to him, the pull is so strong, but I break away. Tears well up, and I fight them, not wanting to cry yet again, but I'm too weak. They roll down my face, fiery and cold, angry and sad, a whirl of emotions that explain it all. When daylight enters through a crack in the curtains, I'm curled up defensively. It is clear that the attacks of the night have taken their toll.

The alarm rings unreservedly, beating its unwelcome tune through my body, chilling my spine. Slowly, I unravel myself and sit up. A new day has begun, but it's another day without him. Everything I do next feels like it's being done in slow motion. I dress, eat, get ready for work. Like normal people do. Only, it doesn't feel normal, without him here.

Today, it is cold. Today, I have to hug myself to keep warm. Today, I am the one who holds my hand to stop myself feeling lonely.

Author's Note

Please, be nice. I welcome constructive criticism, but if you have nothing constructive to say, then don't. If you don't like it, I don't mind if you say that, but if you could not be overly mean, and state why you don't like it that would be very helpful. Thank you.