I fell in love once

I fell in love once, 

He distracted me when he walked down the hall.

He met me with a pearly white smile, and icy blue eyes.

I fell in love once, 

I got the courage to tell him that I had fallen in love and he felt the same.

I fell in love once,

we did everything together, we were inseparable,

I gave up everything and everyone for him.

I fell in love once, 

My friends dissipated like dying stars in the sky,

but it didn't matter because I was distracted by him. 

He was my world, I need not to look past the pollution and sky to the stars.

I fell in love once,

We had fights,

They were compact and didn't matter

because we had "love" to get us through.

I fell in love once, 

Like my father the anger spat out like lava erupting from a volcano,

blows I have been taking all my life.

Surely I can handle these burns too.

I fell in love once, 

His anger boiled over like water in a steel pot, 

My reactions were habitual.

The words caught in my throat like bubbles trying to escape a sealed container. 

My face streaming tears until my face and everything else felt numb.

I fell in love once,

I grew from my experiences and mistakes I made,

I grew like a flower in spring.

I separated myself from the possessive soil, 

but the soil longed for the beautiful flower.

Even though the roots were still buried deep within.

I fell in love once,

The volcano became a routine,

something I expected. 

The volcano was beautiful in the most terrifying way possible.

The burns began to show, 

but still I hide them because its all I have ever known.

I fell in love once, 

I learn my value and self- worth,

I found the beauty in my petals. 

The soil began to eat me, climbing up my stem.

Covering the leaves where no sun light could reach.

I longed and starved for freedom. 

The soil begged me not to leave and mentioned how I promised to stay.

Why would I leave? 

We have "love"...right?

I fell in love once,

Then the fight within myself begun,

Logic or Love,

Mind or Heart.

My dad always told me to do both,

my solutions to both were so far apart.

Stay and carry the weight of the soil?

Or let the earth grow and sprout new beautiful flowers?

The earth loves me and gives me the nutrients I need but

is it hurting me as well?

Numb...

my face hot, my heart bursting outside of my chest

like drums echoing through a big room.

Then the familiar stream begins to flow down my face, 

the salt cutting and digging into my clandestine burns.

All I can think is,

I fell in love once.

Author's Note

something that I doodled during English.