On a Night Dark and Frightening

Picture the scene: a thundery night in the mid nineteenth-century. A boy (who was usually up to no good) and his family are inside sitting by the fire. Then...

On a night dark and frightening,
With thunder and lightning,
And no sign of it brightening,
Came a knock on the door.
'Twas a man - mean and thin,
With a dark evil grin,
Who my father let in,
And he stood on our floor.

Said my father "Well met sir.
In truth you are wet, sir.
Some thing can I get, sir?"
But the man shook his head.
On our floor as he stood,
He pulled back his black hood,
And his voice chilled my blood,
As he eerily said:

"I've come from the bold school,
The do-as-you're-told school,
The damp-dark-and-cold school,
Where the wind whistles through.
The can't-misbehave school,
The cradle-to-grave school,
The make-you-my-slave school,
And I've come here for YOU!!"


And just at the moment, as quick as can be,
The man's crooked finger was pointed at ME!


I cowered and stumbled,
As he followed and grumbled,
And shortly I tumbled,
And started to whine.
"You've not been a good boy!
Or done what you should, boy!
Fetch your bag and your hood, boy!
For now you are MINE!"

"Oh no, sir! Not me, sir!
I'm good as can be, sir!
Oh please can't you see, sir!
I'm longing to stay!
You have to believe, sir!
I don't wish to leave sir!
Please grant me reprieve, sir!
Don't take me away!"

As the stranger strode toward me,
His frame towered o'er me,
He stood there before me,
And this he conferred:

I'll have you removed, boy

Unless you have proved, boy

Your ways have improved, boy
Now give me your word!


This man was the sum of my very worst fears,
And I swore I’d be good through the cries and the tears.

As I lay there, defeated,
The stranger retreated,
And softly repeated,
With eyes burning bright.
"I hope you will learn, boy,
This chance you must earn, boy.
Don't make me return, boy!"
And he left in the night…


I had somehow been spared from my destiny's kiss,
And I've been a good boy from that day to this.

Reviews

[Inyourshadow]

Reminds me of the naughty police my mum always threatened me with lol. This is wonderfully told and I just love the trebles interupted by singles it has a real la-la-la sing song quality to it, you could almost imagine it as a skipping song to keep time. You deserve the praise afforded you my friend, keep em' coming

[Sean M. Addams]

very cool piece .. liked the detail in this alot ..overall a very awesome write..great job on this!!

[.]

the master at work!!! Brilliant from start to finish...

[A Lone Creative Nomad]

Holy poo muffins! That was awesome! I'll definately be locking the doors tonight... I hope I was good!

[Sexy P3nguin]

An amazing write you have here, It is defiantly fit for my contest and I thank you for joining. The only problem I can find is when you used the same word again to make it rhyme. That was the only flaw I cold find though. My favorite line has to be this one
"This man was the sum of my very worst fears,
And I swore I’d be good through the cries and the tears."

Great Line and Great POEM!! GOOD JOB!!

[Jamie S.]

I was scared for the little boy!! What an awesome write, have you sent this anywhere??? I dont know about Ireland but the magazines in the states would love this for thier Halloween issue's. Ive been told to send submissions in 6 months ahead for seasonal pieces. You definatly crawled inside the head of a ornery little boy who needed a good lesson,lol. Well done!!! (I intend on reading this to my little bear,lol)

[Samuel Dickens]

This is terrific, Baz. A real entertaining write, it is. Is that fellow who adjusts young boy's attitudes still around? (I have a teenager)

[Ellen Hammond]

Wow! You really aught to publish a book of nursery rhymes with morals and lessons in them. This is another amazing poem with a different rhyme scheme that works well here. Kids seem to learn a lot from rhymes and many of us older folks just love to read them too. Very nicely penned.

[OtherWoman]

I love the arrangment. Good job.