Finally holidays...

my very personal version...and I'm very sorry if my English isn't great, but I hope it's good enough for ONE special person

About time to leave everything behind me for a few days. One final time I look at my equiment. There is my old, scuffed up rucksack, tightly filled with everything I will need for the next seven days. I finally got myself new hicking boots and looking at them I keep my fingers crossed that I will not end up with tons of blisters. I put my tent and the camping mat which I have used already so many times before right next to the rucksack. I quickly glance one more time at my GPS device just to ensure that the batteries are full. After that I sit down and sum up my plans.

I have chosen this remote little mountain village in the Alps as the starting point of my seven-day-trip in order to avoid company of any kind. The idea is to have seven days on my own to be able to recuperate.

The last few months and weeks literally saped a huge amount of energy from me. This new project group at work is ever so aggravating. Its bad enough to be under time pressure. Why did Hank accept this project at all? Is the economical situation that bad?

I hated having to leave my cosy little town. I hated the move. I hated the noise of the big city. I hated having to do this job. But Lydia and I need the money. A wedding is expensiv. So is a house. And we need one since Lydias Nan lives with us. For years she was has been Lydias only family.

After checking everything I feel ready to leave, hoping to clime on one of the 3000 meter high peeks of the Alps. That would be a great start for this week.

And here I am. Right on top of the montain. What a feeling. Breathtakingly beautiful. How easy it is to breath up here if every step heals your wounds a bit more and easens your burden. Up here I am simply an unsignificant creature within the powers and mercy of nature. I am not needed but toleratet by nature. What a relief.

While I feel the wind in my hair and on my skin I take another happy deep breath and while I feel another wave of joy flow through me I look at the blue sky and hope that the weathergods are on my side for the next few days.

After a few more meditating moments I start hunting for a good spot for setting up my night camp. In the distance I can make out a little overhanging rock that seems to be just the right place. I set up my tent and after I had a little snack I snuggle up in my comfy old sleeping bag and finally fall asleep. The next morning I feel as refreshed as have not been for a long time even though I cannot recall having dreamed at all.

The next day follows the same routine and I am simply happy doing what I am doing without feeling the burden of responsibility.

The following morning is cloudy and chilly. The weathergods have turned their backs on me. Because the sky turns darker and darker I quickly look for a shelter. Close by I spot a cave and run for it. The very same moment I reach the mouth of the cave mother nature starts flexing her muscles and proves yet again, that we are nothing but a piece of straw in the hands of a giant.

I hide in my tent and suffer through the storm. Being bored I go through my rucksack looking at my equipment. But what on earth is that at the bottom of my rucksack? My smart phone? How is that possible? I thought I put it on my desk, purposefully leaving that awful gold chain to responsibility behind.

Oh well, seeing that I have it on me, lets make some use of it at least while I have nothing else to do. There might be an entertaining little app.

But as usual I open up my email accounts first and regret it immidiatly? There is an unread mail. Who on earth writes to me during bank holiday?

"Sweety! Call me! My nan just got heart surgery. There have been complications. I dont know whether she will make it. I am awfully scared. Lydia."

Checking the date I can see that this text has been sent three days ago. Damn it! Lydia is the centre of my being, the core of my existance, most important to me at all. But I did not manage to tell her about my daily hell at work. I didnt want her to worry for me, for our future. Our finances depend right know solely on me. I wanted a few days without anyone knowing I was gone except for Hank who had to sign my holdiday approval.

Damn it again. No connection. What am I supposed to do? I cant leave the cave, I cant call, send emails ... Nothing. I have always been there for her, just as she has been for me. Her Nan has been Lydias only family after her parents and her older sister died in a nasty car crash. If she looses her and I am not around she will be devastated.

After hours of cursing myself for not telling her about my absence I finally fall asleep. In my dream I can see Lydia. She walks endless hospital floors. Over and over again. Her Nan lies quiet and pale in her bed. Does she breath? I cannot see it. Where is Lydia? I can hear her sobbing. Or is it just the rain? I wake up a hundred times. But every single time I fall back in a nightmare. My worries eat themself in every single thought. My tummy turns. I feel sick. She must be worried about my missing reply. Who comforts her? Oh God. Worst timing ever. I wake up again, curled up on the floor. I scream against the storm. Natures beauty has turned into cold merciless rage.

In the early morning I pack up my stuff as quickly as possible. I take the map and caculate the fastet route. Will I manage it in less than four days?

I start my days with the first beam of sunlight and after sixteen, seventeen hours without a break I fall asleep, almost unconscious, but driven by the knowledge that I need to talk to Lydia as quickly as possible.

It takes me three days to reach civilisation. Finally I have connection. With shaking hands I try to dial the number. It takes me four times to manage. Finally I hear her voice. "Baby, are you ok? I am worried sick. Hank said you needed a few days off. Where are you?" "How are you? How is your Nan?" I almost wisper the words. "She is doing fine. I am fine. I am just worried about you. Come home. Hank gives you a week extra. Nan wants to see you, too. I love you."