Just A Dream

It was just a dream...But it felt so REAL.

I was driving down a road. My foot continuously pressing harder on the gas pedal. Faster and faster I sped away. But that wasn't enough for me. Faster, faster I went. Butch's windows rolled down allowing the wind to blow through my hair. Then there was a brick wall. I hit it hard. My forehead smashing against the windshield. Blood trickled down my face...

I woke up with a sharp pain in my heart. Hot sweat dampening my cheeks, making my hair stick to my face. Tears were already running freely down my face and splashing on to my pajama shorts. My breaths came in short gasps for air. Adam bolted up, seeing my paincing state. He rushed over and pulled me into his arms, cradling me against his chest. He ran his hands over my damp hair in an attempt to soothe me. "Shhh," he cooed in my ear, "Shhhhhh, it was only a dream." His whispered reassurance wasn't enough. I clung to his arm as if it were my life. It was only a dream. But it felt so real. The pain was all too vivid. I couldn't tell where I was. Was I even in Adam's room? "Shhh, babygirl," he whispered to me using the nickname he often used for me. We stayed that way for a long time. So long I had lost track of time. Me, laying in his lap with my head nestled against his shouder, clutching his arm. Him, sitting there, cradling me in his arms and whispering sweet reassurances in my ear.

The rest of the week I stayed there at Adam's. Every night I woke up with the same nightmare. The same reaction coming from me. I always woke up with the too vivid dream playing again and again in my head. Always woke up half about to scream and crying. Always in a panic. He always held me in his arms. He always rocked me back to sleep. Always there.

That weekend I heard Adam talking to Blake. I didn't have to ask what it was they were talking about, I already knew it was about me. Adam's voice was low as he stood outside the girl's bathroom at the school waiting for me so we could leave for the weekend. Blake lowered his in response. "Dude, I can't leave her," Adam argued, running his hands through his thick blonde hair. Blake had a concerned look on his handsome face. Black hair tousled and dark brown eyes riddled with worry. "She's that bad?" he asked, worry lacing his words. Was I seriously that bad? Was I so bad that Adam couldn't leave me alone? I was about to walk out and tell Adam to go have fun with Blake. That I would be okay without him. But then he started talking in that hushed tone again, "Blake...she wakes up every night screaming and crying from the same nightmare," he chewed his lip, "I'm scared for her, Blake. I'm scared to leave her alone." So, I was that bad. This time I did walk out, not leaving a beat open for him to start again. I grabbed Adam's hand and tugged on it, "Go have fun with Blake, Adam," I started, "I'll be fine." The look of reassurance I tried to give him must have failed. "MiMi, no I can't. Just look at you...you're exhausted. You're a wreck, babe. I can't leave you." With that said he walked away, holding my hand and pulling me with him. This is how far I've sunk. Adam can't even have a life of his own without me. Without being scared to leave me alone.