I & YOU

Yes I love you..

To be with you is like an adorable dream

To be away worths more than a nightmare..

All my life with it's moments big and small,

You're the only one with whom I want to share.....

Contentment is brought with unaware reasons

Smiles are stolen with fragmented thoughts

Just the moments 'I&U' are precious

Everything else's felt rubbish n rot....

Think about you at the dreadful night

Cherish you hard in a sweating day

I just wish silently to sit beside you

And let my eyes only to express and say..

Deep love will rise and fall again n again

Showing those dreams I wanna live with you

Includin those moments of gettin wet in rain

And constantly whispering  'I'm in love with you'..

I'm not afraid even its a 'no' from you

coz I loved with pure heart and mind..

I just want you to witness it truly

You'll surely fall coz mine is hard to find....

Written By - Basu Gupta

Reviews

[Gurleen Saluja]

A good write.. an effective emotion of love. :)

[Basu Gupta]

Thank You Gurleen..

[Gurleen Saluja]

You are welcome :)

[Rene Salinas]

Here is what happen to me when I read some of your poems . I sadly am involved in the world of IT and when I read this kind of language online I always tend to think that it is mainly time pressure so out of that I respond although I do not use online Lingo. Then in one simple phrase you are describing a relationship which at that point it is not clear if it is human or not and you used adorable dream. I will stop right there and invite you to ask yourself: Is everything that follows part of an adorable dream? If it is that dorable; have I sat down and spent some time not a lot but some time thinking about it? If yes was the asnwer then do you feel that if you read this to whom you are refering to there would be the same understanding that you had when you where writing this lines down? If the answer here is no then maybe that's where the challenge lays. Granted my Hindi is horrible my Telgu is non - exsistent and my Marathi is even worse but somehow I get the feeling that it is not a language issue but your intentionallity which out this writing I could only say it seems a little casual.
Your love is not casual is it?

Shukrya

[Basu Gupta]

Okay..that was really very appreciable..I don't consider my love casual..but I wrote it much casually..I know I have not described anything unique..maybe just an innocent piece from my side..
thanks for reviewing..

[Abdul Batin Osman Bey]

a beautiful and brave poem to love no matter what the consequences

[Basu Gupta]

Thanks abdul..

[AprilRN1210]

I would have to slightly agree with Chris on this one. I like the emotion, the message, I just think the rhymes feel forced and the flow is a little "off"...

[Basu Gupta]

Sorry for disappointing you too..I'll improve forsure

[AprilRN1210]

It's not a matter of disappointing. It is just giving honest opinion to try and help you improve to write the best that you can... You should write for yourself... not us, not anyone else.. if you do that, the only person you can disappoint is you.... It is a beautiful sentiment, just needs a little editing to fix the flow :)

[Basu Gupta]

Thanks..I'll give an attempt n try to edit..
Will surely mail you once it gets fixed..

[AprilRN1210]

You're welcome. I would like that. And if you ever need advice or help my inbox is always open:)

[Basu Gupta]

Surely msg you..coz I'll be needing your help now

[AprilRN1210]

Anytime my friend....

[Ayushi]

Love is in the air..
Nice read :)

[Basu Gupta]

Thanks for reviewing..

[Avinash]

One thing is for sure that you are in love. Second, I wish you luck. Keep on writing.

[Basu Gupta]

Thank You..