CAN'T YOU BE MINE

English Song..damn special for me.. For "Her"..Whom I'm gonna remember thr most..

Title - "Can't You be Mine"

My dreams are of you

Which forced me to do

Thorns are saved for me 

But petals for you..

Can I be your shadow

Always walking beside

Can I be your heartbeat

Of your heart inside..

Cant u be mine..

Mere khwaabo me tu harr pal zinda hai..

Cant u be mine

Har lamha bas tu saansein leta hai..

I cant breathe alone

Coz, my breath is counting on you..

I cant sleep alone

Coz m thinkin about you night till dawn..

But now

I feel

The moments 

are just some memories..

But now 

I can see

You're leaving

Just like a shadow in the dark..

But I'm holding you girl

N I'm holdin you tight

No matter you ain't there 

Still kept close to my heart..

Yes I'll be your shadow

Always walking beside

Yes I'll be your heartbeat

of your heart inside..

Yes you'l be mine..

Mere khwaabo me tu harr pal zinda hai..

Yes you'll be mine

Har lamha bas tu saansein leta hai..

Yes you'l be mine.

Me dekhoon toh bas tera chehra hai..

Yes you'l be mine

Binn tere mera dil adhoora hai..

Thank You for readin..By Basu Gupta

Reviews

[Jennie Baron]

It does have the rhythm of a song. And although parts are not in English, the message comes through clearly, the longing and desperation, as April said. I like it very much.

One small thing: The syntax of the first stanza is a little odd with the second line being an incomplete phrase "which forced me to do" so it's not quite clear what that means...

[Basu Gupta]

Thanks for even seeing my work ma'am..I am really thankful..
Actually on the context of first stanza..
I just meant that my dreams are comprised of her only..which constantly forces me to preserve petals for her and thorns for me..

[Jennie Baron]

Ah, I see...it's more like "My dreams are of you only, which forces me to preserve petals for you and thorns for me." Rewording it that way, or similarly, might make it easier to read, although again it's a beautiful poem to begin with.

[Basu Gupta]

Just the presence of mind ma'am at that instant..still thanks for stopping by ma'am

[AprilRN1210]

I can FEEL the need, the passion, the longing, the depth of the affection, the desperation. I like the buildup of the momentum and the use of repetition. Overall, nice job.

[Basu Gupta]

Thanks for reviewing..
I really appreciate..

[AprilRN1210]

You are quite welcome. It was my pleasure.

[Abdul Batin Osman Bey]

interesting poem of love that seems to border on the stalker-ish but the emotion carries very well.

[Basu Gupta]

Thanks abdul..a song btw..
thanks for stopping by

[Aethereal]

“Can I be your shadow”? You may be her shadow as a last resort. Your poem inspired me to write this tiny mono-rhyme gift song-poem for you:

Her Shadow

As her shadow, dark and shallow,
I must hold her hand to follow
over mountain, field, and hollow
where there’s light or burning tallow.

[Basu Gupta]

Heh..thanks..
I'll surely steal them n' make a new poem..hehe

[Aethereal]

This mono-rhyme poem is yours to do with as you like.

[Basu Gupta]

Yeah..thanks

[Aria]

I cant breathe alone
Coz, my breath is counting on you.. favorite line

[Basu Gupta]

Thanks Aria