Loser Infront Of Pride

Whenever thought of you..
Just read your messages again
A thing stroke(s) my heart awhile
A sensation equatin my intense pain..

Waited for you a long
Witnessed that anxious side
Still never approached you myself
Just for my absurd pride....

That seriously makes me regret
What if, if I would?
My ego can't calm my heart
Then why not I should?

Answers came up without count
Lacking that straight-forward 'Yes' or 'No'
Outnumbered that favouring option
With my burning spirit got low.....

My mind's ultimatum brought out 'No'
So threw my cell aside
I wish your approach would be their
Coz, I'm a loser infront of my pride....

Written By- Basu Gupta

Reviews

[B-poet]

Swallowing your pride is definitely a hard thing to do if you're a prideful person. Yet you have to do it in order to grow into the person you truly want to be. Nice work. You've got the point across in your own unique way, you can edit this one and make a 2nd version if you like. A distinguished write & read. :)

[Basu Gupta]

thanks...that really means a lotttt to me..i'll try to correct the mistakes you felt..and won't disappoint you next time

[Ian Faraway]

Pride is a very bad sin, my friend. It's never easy to swallow. Yet every person seems to hold it high like a badge of honor. That being said, it would be a good idea to go back and check the grammar. The first stanza barely made sense to me. "Whenever thought of you", did you mean "When thoughts of you"? And if so, what? When thoughts of you cross my mind? When thoughts of you go running down the street? When thoughts of you forgets to buy the milk at the store? You don't say what the thoughts are doing, which I think is important for setting up the next line and the rest of the poem. That's the only real bug issue I have with this poem is that the grammar of the stanzas seem to mess with the flow for me and really take away from the impact that this poem could really have. As for the meaning of the poem, I absolutely love it. There is so much potential in this poem and I hope you are able to bring it out. Keep writing!

[Basu Gupta]

will try surely. Thank You for stopping by

[Basu Gupta]

will try surely. Thank You for stopping by

[Abdul Batin Osman Bey]

Sad but great poem well written

[Catrina De Maria]

Wow this poem is so strong! I love how effortless your words sound, yet they're so so powerful!

[Basu Gupta]

thanks Nina..glad you liked it

[Katherine Enma Pineappl..]

I've been waiting for someone to write a poem about this~! Good job~!

Pride is something when in equilibrium is helpful. How can we attain such balance?

It's hard to contain, to maintain-- Pride. I relate with your poem since many chances have gone by many blessings could have received all just wasted because of stupid Pride wherein sometimes you wish fate will bend reality to adjust to your pride

A wonderful write. I feel like this is something many can relate to. :)

Those words you have there embodied what I and probably many have thought throughout the years

[Basu Gupta]

blush blush blushhhhhh..hehehe.thankew kate..your review is seriously felt like 'yes i did good'...thankewwwww

[The dark story]

pride always makes us regret in the end...its quite dominating,chaining us so hard that it becomes hard to get out of its grasp. and when that times comes, we find ourselves with nothing.i like the flow of the poem and the way you have expressed your thoughts. nice work. thanks for sharing.

[Basu Gupta]

i really appreciate your review...to be frank i'm just trying to write a kinda poetry which can relate a bit of yours...
Thank Youuuuuu

[annie lee]

Pride is always a worthy opponent. Sometimes its strength does impede our progress towards things that might actually be good for us. I once told a friend that I could walk faster backwards (in order to avoid social situations) than some people could forward. And that backwards walk was powered by pride, not always MY pride, sometimes belonging to someone else entirely.

[Basu Gupta]

yeah....i too can relate with you
Thanks for reviewing

[Barbara Walker]

Your intent was a bit masked by your syntax, but reading it through twice, I understood your meaning. Your premise is a very good one and editing this piece would make it a great one.
I have to say though, that the idioms and colloquialisms made it charming in its own way.

[Basu Gupta]

thank you barbara...i try to edit it to the best..thanks for reviewing

[Leslie Philibert]

a good poem that needs some work,
I would write this so....

Whenever thoughts of you
rush through my memory again
This calling strokes my heart anew
and allows no stop to pain...

You write very well, just be more careful with spelling and syntax !

[Basu Gupta]

yes sir...i'l be careful next time..and hope i won't disappoint you..thanks for reviewing

[Pryde Foltz]

A heartfelt write. I do hope that you will overcome the deadly sin that is my name (lol) and pursue your heart's desire.

[Basu Gupta]

lolzzzzz...
Thanks for reviewing i really appreciate

[Basu Gupta]

thanks for reviewing..