DRUG AND CURE

a piece to describe little of her beauty..

Your eyes have such an admiring look
Which will make even the prettiest girl to quarrel
Not with mortals but with their Creator
Full of arguments for a lost battle.....

Mused in your thoughts and dreams
I realized the existence of my worthy heart
The only grudge placed deep within
'Why we're still some distance apart?'...

Always brought that 'you love me?' trial
In the state of surety or doubt
Counteract the ultimate result smartly
Whenever a 'NO' is sensed in the hasty bout....

What am I supposed to do
When you're my only drug and cure
Leaving you is like betraying my soul
How can I forget such a distracting lure....

Yes I count your absence
When you're not with me
Grovel and crawl for that day and hour
Our soul mingling together and set free..

Written By- BASU GUPTA

Reviews

[Susie Q]

Nice write! Love for a person can be like a drug sometimes but when things don"t work out, like a drug can't be cured until it is let go. Much heartache.

[Basu Gupta]

yaa....but this drug is often the cure of all the pains.....
thanks for your review...

[Susie Q]

I agree.

[Leslie Philibert]

Nice poem from a fine young poet from a town I visited many years ago....

[Basu Gupta]

thanks a lot sir...

[Rhianne Ney]

Dude, I don't know why but I think I'm swarmed with ants already who craves for sugar, what's with the countless love poems? Can you explain why? I mean, you seemed to be over motivated by somebody who's face I still have to check. well, this masterpieces won't appear without such a great person that you love, right?

[Basu Gupta]

heheh...no no Rihanne there's no one standing or waiting outside..for whom in your language "I'm over motivated"...it's just came directly from my heart..

[Rhianne Ney]

I see... and if it's directly from the heart it will be best

[Basu Gupta]

hmmm.....thanks

[Rhianne Ney]

My pleasure

[Chris]

Seems many paused here though few left opinons. You are acquiring a grasp of English as a language, working on the nuances and shades of meaning will add to your word skill.

As this one stands - to me - your theater seat was Aisle G seat 17. You arrived and went to the balcony, then down to the stage. Then back to the concession stands then had a guide take you to your seat BUT as the lghts dimmed you realized your date was in the lobby and you had to go get her - so you ran out and back through the doors to find her! The show began and the guides closed the doors until intermission. You watched the show through the little door window. Less is more sometimes... and keeps even the author from being distracted. Stanza 4 is nearly the standalone it should be...

Just my opinion not dissing you.

Chris

[Basu Gupta]

ohh it's alright ....and as a matter of fact you're somewhere right too...
btw thanks

[Katherine Enma Pineappl..]

Your piece here really shows a huge degree of longing for that one person. But I have to say that I prefer your past works rather than this one. This has not given me much of an impact like your other works though I have to say it is still entertaining.

Your ideas are incredibly unique, something I haven't read before and all I do with my spare time is either read or watch TV when I don't have to study.

But that aside you have to fix this line: 'Why we're still some distance apart?'...

I can't offer a suggested rephrasing of this but I'm sure you can find a way. :)

I'm sorry if this review of mine isn't much like my other ones though D:

Overall, your poem has a nice steady flow that entails the reader to read it until the very end, which is good. I still love your choice of words here, I guess I just prefer your other works over all :)

This is a nice read~ Keep writing~

[Basu Gupta]

thanks a lot for your review...it's alright if you didn't like it as my other works...but no problem..i'll try to tighten and improve my grip..

[Katherine Enma Pineapple]

You're welcome and that's the spirit! :D

[Brielle Cartny]

I really like this! Passionate! Enjoyable read!!!! Keep up the good work!!

[Basu Gupta]

thanks a ton Brielle...

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Hi Basu, I love the thought of this piece, it is good however, I think you need to change some lines and the spelling.

But it is still up to you. The below seems have error in syntax. Keep writing Bro. Hope to read more write from you. Keep the fire burning.

Your eyes have such an admiring look----Your eyes have such admirable looks
Which will make even the preetiest girl to quarrel ----PRETTIEST
Not with mortals but with their Creator
Full of arguments for a lost battle.....

Mused in your thoughts and dreams ---Do you mean Muse? Because mused and thought are the same meanings. If Muse it should be “Muse in my thought and dreams since you are the first person in this piece
I realized the existence of my worthy heart
The only grudge placed deep within
'Why we're still some distance apart?'... I think this need to rephrase

Always brought that 'you love me?' trial
In the state of surety or doubt
Counteract the ultimate result smartly
Whenever a 'NO' is sensed in the hasty bout....

What am I supposed to do
When you're my only drug and cure
Leaving you is like betraying my soul
How can I forget such a distracting lure....

Yes I count your absense ---absence
When you're not with me
Grovel and crawl for that day and hour---Grovel and crawl same meaning its redundant
Our soul mingling together and set free..—This statement is a contradiction. Find other words aside from free because it contradicts to the sentence. “Mingling together and set free” seems something missing here.

[Basu Gupta]

thanks a lott...i'll go through what you just said and somewhat try to counteract my real views..read morethanks a lott...i'll go through what you just said and somewhat try to counteract my real views..
but yes i'll correct my grammatical errors just now...
thanks a lot i really appreciate...

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Always welcome bro. we are here to help each other good luck.

[Lover Of Words]

Great job

[Basu Gupta]

thank you Kelsey..

[Feary]

This is so emotional. You have amazing metaphors. Great job.

[Basu Gupta]

thanks a ton feary..