Letter to Myself

An absurd little piece. Just some good natured poking fun at myself, and people in general. Also a bit of personal reflection.

To Myself,

 

            If you’ve happened upon this little note, then I’ve undoubtedly gone missing. In the span of one of my many aimless wanderings, I’ve gone a bit too far, and reached a point from which I cannot voluntarily return. Not that I haven’t seen this day coming for some time now, which is why I’ve prepared this document and hidden it in the Tal Bachman section of the record store, where I knew only you would find it.

            This situation, I’m sure, is one of the most absurd you may ever find yourself (we may find ourselves?) in. And I’m sure there are a hundred other things you’d rather be doing at the moment, instead of taking care of someone else’s problems for them yet again. But the fact of the matter is, this is your problem every bit as much as it is mine. I (you) have gone missing, and who better to find you (me) than us (me and you). This must put quite a damper on any plans you may have had for the moment, so perhaps it’s best to just roll up your sleeves and commence the search.

            I’m not entirely sure of my whereabouts, but I believe I’m being held halfway between insanity and fulfillment. This is exactly why I’ve called you into service; neither one of us is completely sure where I’m currently located, but you will have a better idea as to where that may be. That, and you’re quite proficient at looking for things. This entire operation remains something of a test run, as I’m not altogether certain how good you are at finding the things you search for. However, if your finding skills are half as adept as your searching skills, I should be as good as rescued by the time I’ve finished writing this letter.

            Dante, old friend, spoke of a Hell divided into nine circles. As you know, it was his belief that sinners were divided up and sent to the level that corresponded with their particular sins. But as it turns out, Virgil was a filthy liar; the whole thing was staged so that he could collect royalties from Dante’s publication, and the poor Italian was severely misinformed.

            There is but one level of Hell. It exists on the same plane we all exist on, and it isn’t overseen by any sort of demon or god. It’s governed by chance and chance alone, which is why good right thinking and decent people are committed to it at times, just the same as junkies and murderers. Of course, this means that the bad folk often slip through the cracks and end up on top of the world alongside the good hearted and selfless. This hell, however, isn’t half as bad as the terrors Virgil presented to Dante. There is no violent hurricane, no fiery tombs, no puddles of human excrement. Here, the residents search constantly for something, never really knowing what it is they’re looking for (not at all unlike a retirement home). Mayhap it’s home, or some sort of companionship, or even a cause to search. My belief is that they search for self- fulfillment of some kind, which differs in definition depending on who you ask.

            But I digress.  I’ve only given this lengthy explanation as to the inner workings of  the true “Hell”, because it is necessary for you to have a bit of history on the situation. I’ve served a sentence, you see. Years spent, searching, searching, searching. But then, something wonderful occurred: I realized what I was searching for! I can’t speak for every soul walking that path, for my part, I was searching for complete and utter self-satisfaction. And upon learning the cause of my search, I escaped.

            With a solid goal in sight, I began seeking with renewed optimism and zeal. But if you’ll believe it, I fell right back into some other rut. Apparently the time I spent aimlessly meandering towards nothing had taken a permanent affect on my mind, causing me take up the habit of self-sabotage. There is nothing more frustrating on the face of this earth we inhabit, than knowing the path to happiness, and deliberately forcing yourself to go in the opposite direction.

            I believe I’ve sat a rather depressing tone for these pages though, so I’ll stop before it become irreparable. Suffice it to say, I’m now a free man altogether. No more searching in the dark, no more self-destructive behavior.

            Now, in this freedom, I’ve come to appreciate the absurdities of the world we live in; our aimless adventures through the caverns of our own collective psyche, our little pissing contests (I’m convinced that some scientist will blow up the moon someday, simply because he can), and the self-destructive behavior of the general population. There are situations far more absurd than the one you find yourself in now. For example: do you know trans fats have been outlawed, because they kill people, but cigarettes and alcohol are still legal? Don’t think on it too much, you’ll just have a fit. You’ll become frustrated, giggle a bit, and then feel your I.Q. clinging to the walls of your brain as it fights with all its strength not to sink a few points lower.  I know, I’ve been there.

            Which brings us back to my (our) current debacle. If my journey towards self-satisfaction is an open road, then the quirks and imperfections inherent in our human race are lovely sights and tourist traps, conveniently located just to the side of said road. It seems I have become far too distracted by one too many of these little attractions, and I now sit on some back country road, with not a god damn thing on the radio but Willie Nelson. You can see why I need to be found, immediately. As I’ve stated before, you are the only man for the job.  Now, you’ve been given your instructions. Remember: somewhere in between insanity, and self- fulfillment. I’m waiting, Please come quickly.

 

 

Sincerely,

You (me, us, yourself, we, ourselves). 

Reviews

[An Ordinary Woman]

You (me, us, yourself, we, ourselves). One in the same, huh.

Your an awesomely talented writer. Honestly.
Welcome back.

[SM Davis]

I'm not entirely sure of my whereabouts, but I believe I'm being held halfway between insanity and fulfillment.

Wow! James this is fantastic! The line above is profound. I think that as writers many of us can relate to it. Well done!!

[Emily B]

aw, James, this is great. Thank you for remembering me with it. I loved the tone. I loved the philosophy. I loved the humor. It's going directly into my favorites--before I lose it. lol

[Lady leah]

very nicely penned, great write it's always nice to lighten the mood. For I shall look & find you halfway between insanity & fufillment