In a lack of a better name

A story about poverty in Nepal, and all the problems that come with it...

"Please just leave me alone! I don't want to!" said William.

Those two a******s have been stalking me all day, and they still don't get it. I just don't want to join their gang! My parents may be very poor, and I know I won't survive long on these dirty and dangerous streets. But that doesn't mean I automatically want to join one of the most cruel gangs of Nepal.

"Why don't you! You and your poor family have nothing left! You already don't have anything that even looks like a future!"

"That is true, but I just want to think about it," was my anwser, in a hope they would leave me alone so I could go to our house.

The two creeps wandered off to their next victim, to ask if he or she would join. When they were out of range and they could now longer see me, I ran to our house. Maybe I could help by getting some coal from the mines, about 2 hours walking.

When I arrived home, my mother was already preparing the food, well, at least they thought it looked like food. I couldn't really see what was in the bowl because of the dirty brown/black water.

"Where have you been all day?" asked my mother. "We missed you all day."

I couldn't really think of an appropriate anwser so I asked what was in the bowl of brownisch water.

My mother although, wanted to know where I had been all day.

"I was just walking through all the streets, and I collected plastic bottles for Peter."

I gave her the 7 cents that I earned this day, and my mother just smiled. I smiled back, because I knew what she was thinking. With there 7 cents we could buy us some more medicines for my brother. 

"Can I help," I said, when I saw the worried 'smile' on my mother's face.

She just smiley at me and said "Just don't stay away from home when I don't know where you are, I was really worried."

"I promise, shall I go and watch how Nick is doing?"

"That's OK, ask him if he wants to eat with us this evening," said my mother.

I went to Nick, who is my brother, which wasn't hard at all. The only thing I had to do was open the 'curtain' which is made several goat pelts, and there he was. He was just sitting there against a thin log supporting our little shed we built when we arrived together with hundreds of other families. 

"Are you OK?" I asked.

"Nick are you OK?!" I asked, but this time a bit louder.

I touched his wrist, but it felt cold and hot at the same time. I could hear his breath, it was loud and I could hear him working to breath. I could see that he had pain. 

I ran back to my mother, because I knew this wasn´t right.

"Mom, go with me! There is something wrong!"

Before I was finished with my sentence, she was already standing beside Nick. She looked really worried, and I could hear her mumble.

"I knew it, I flipping knew it..." 

"Pick him up boy!" she commanded. "We have to reach the hospital before tomorrow morning!"

So that's what I did, I picked up my little brother and I noticed his heart beat. It was very fast and unstable. Another thing I noticed was his weight, it was too low - but how did his weight dropped so fast?

"Let's go," whispered my mother, really anxious and worried.

We both knew that it was about 5 hours of walking through forests, and we also had to cross a river. Which was going to be a mayor problem. How could we possibly make it to the hospital?

After about 1 hour of walking, we reached the river. There was no way that we were able to cross it without any problems, but we had to keep moving. First my mother went down to the side of the river, and tried to fill the pot she had carried all the way to here with water. She returned and gave some of the water to Nick, who drank some of it. The rest fell on the ground. 

Nick had been quiet uptill now, but suddenly he asked to put him on the ground. I did, and there he was just sitting and breathing. We could all feel that is was going to be a hard journey until we finally reach the hospital.

After 5 minutes Nick said we could continue and try to cross the river, so I picked him up and mother took her bowl. We went down to the riverbed and there we hestitated for a second. Were their alligators in there? We couldn't see any, so my mother went first into the water. 

"It is safe, now you should go," she said.

I entered the warm water and I could feel the mud through my toes. Step by step we went through the river. The water was almost reaching my knees, and I could feel the flow underwater, which was trying to pull me over. I struggled but finally managed to stay upright and keep the head of my little brother above the water.

"Just a few steps! You can do it William," said my mother. "Don't give up! Think about your brother!"

Those words gave me the final strength to throw myself to the other side.

"I made it."

[To be continued]

Author's Note

Ignore the grammer problem, and I obviously like to hear what to improve to make my stories more interesting to read.

Reviews

[TLK]

You come out too blatantly when you say "our house in the slums". Your description of not being able to see what your mother was preparing because of the dirty water is much more compelling.

Try to SHOW us the slum, rather than TELL us about it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Show,_don%27t_tell

[Bart]

Thank you! This was very usefull, I'll change it and take the skill with me for the next stories.

[Sophie Drossaers]

I like it! You should definetely continue this story

[Bart]

Thx :D and thank you for the idea haha