Prologue

This is the beginning of a search for the purpose of writing.

A professor of mine once told our writing class that she couldn’t really help us become better writers, and at the time I thought I understood what she was saying. I had no idea, zero, none, nada. At least that is what I believe now. I say believe because it isn’t something I’ve learned or was taught. You see, when I started writing I really had no idea what I was going to write about, as I am sure many beginners do. However, it didn’t take me long to figure out that the only thing I could write was what I felt, and even though my short stories, or poems differed from one to the next the overall feel was the same. It was me. It was dark, offensive, really about nothing at all and for the most part complete bullshit. Right now you are probably thinking to yourself, “well, no s**t. That is how it works when you’re young and have no real experience with anything.” Well, you’re right, but keep reading. What I am getting at is the real purpose behind why we write, and yes, I’m sure we all think we started for our own reasons, but, when you really boil it down to its elemental form you’ll see that we are all the same.

For me it began without a pen and paper, I wrote everything in my head. In fact, that is where I do most of my writing to this day. I was very young and for no particular reason I just had more fun creating real life in my head. Fun- that could be the reason for writing, right? Nope, sorry, moving on. I was very young and everything I “wrote” was nonsense; like my hand was a professional figure skater. Like I said, I was young. When you’re young it’s easy to create a piece of fiction on a moment’s notice. There are not set guidelines, no curriculum dictating what is right and wrong. You just open that giant mass sitting on your shoulders and let the good times roll. If you’re lucky, some of what comes out isn’t complete insanity. Well that was it for me for quite some time, I never really thought to write down what my brain was churning out. So, I just went on constructing worlds, building characters, and changing plot lines all between my ears; never for the world to see. I must stop here to remind you, I didn’t start writing to finally let the madness out. Preventing Madness? Nope, but you’re getting warmer.

The years progressed, as they tend to do, and slowly I started toying with the notion of writing some of this s**t down. I say “s**t” here not to be offensive or edgy, but because it’s an accurate description. I can’t tell you what my first piece of writing was about; it had something to do with volcanoes I think. This is when I hit my first creative bump in the road. You see, when you create something in your mind it always, ALWAYS, makes sense. It’s your brain, logic need not apply. However, when you finally write it out and show it to another person you often don’t get the response you were looking for. It’s not a bad thing really, it makes you think about how and why they received it that particular way. Still following me? Just think of a time when you found a note or letter you wrote when you were much younger, chances are older you probably didn’t interpret it how younger you thought you would. Making sense now?

So, there I was, slightly older, somewhat smarter, and wondering how I could make my mind more understandable once I let it speak out loud. This is where many of us tend to think it’s not us, its everyone else…” the world doesn’t get me” and all that jazz. Believe me, it’s you.  

Author's Note

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