Sunshine

S-U-N-S-H-I-N-E. A word used to describe the energy emitted by the chaotic fireball above our heads.

You once told me that you would love me

if the sun did not shine.

Well here it is, sun is gone,

and it refuses to shine.

My mountain defenses have crumbled

all the way to the ground.

All the way into the sea

making a melodic sound.

You once inspired me to do great things

And now that my sun doesn't shine

I have my doubts about our trip

across the great continent until we die.

Through the language of song

You told me I was the one

And through the phone

we were done. 

And so here I sit, sunless in the dark.

Echoing words of times past

I know you're gone

But that doesn't mean you've disappeared.

Reviews

[Tony]

Nice poem all around-- the stand out lines for me are "I have my doubts about our trip/ Across the great continent until we die". This phrase says so much. I can see two people so happy together planning for a trip for the future of a lifetime-- but.. nooo "I have my doubts" sounds more like it's just not going to happen. So sad. Like I said all around nice poem but that stood out for me the most. Honest write-- well done.

Makosica

[Chasing_heartbeats]

I loved how easy to read this poem was- but it was beautiful. Simplistic poems are growing on me, lately. I also love your description of "s-u-n-s-h-i-n-e". Beatuiful.

[x_______]

I'm not sure what the sun was exactly, but I don't think it was the important; the feelings still came through, and the idea of giving something up remained. Great read.

[Taylor H.]

I'm making up for reviews I haven't returned. So you may get a few from me depending :). OK, Great poem! Very creative! Great job!

[Immortal]

It is from that movie (which is awesome) and I play a six string acoustic

[EvilAngel]

very nice poem.hope you turn it into a gr8 song one day! what kinda guitar u play? n the picture looks like its from the movie sunshine

[truth]

I found this easy toread and a good mix of contrasts. I liked - Through the language of song
You told me I was the one
And through the phone
we were done.
Some of these words fit as lyrics to a song so I am guessing this is your passion. Thanks for sharing

[QuietPoet]

I liked this a lot. Nice format and wording. Heartbreaking, nice job.

[deeps]

I enjoyed this write here, This is wonderful.
So well written and well expressed emotions.

[Katelin]

I really like this. "Through the language of song; you told me i was the one; and through the phone; we were done"

[qaralynn]

nice write..like it