Sunshine

S-U-N-S-H-I-N-E. A word used to describe the energy emitted by the chaotic fireball above our heads.

You once told me that you would love me

if the sun did not shine.

Well here it is, sun is gone,

and it refuses to shine.

My mountain defenses have crumbled

all the way to the ground.

All the way into the sea

making a melodic sound.

You once inspired me to do great things

And now that my sun doesn't shine

I have my doubts about our trip

across the great continent until we die.

Through the language of song

You told me I was the one

And through the phone

we were done. 

And so here I sit, sunless in the dark.

Echoing words of times past

I know you're gone

But that doesn't mean you've disappeared.

Reviews

[Tony]

Nice poem all around-- the stand out lines for me are "I have my doubts about our trip/ Across the great continent until we die". This phrase says so much. I can see two people so happy together planning for a trip for the future of a lifetime-- but.. nooo "I have my doubts" sounds more like it's just not going to happen. So sad. Like I said all around nice poem but that stood out for me the most. Honest write-- well done.

Makosica

[chelsea]

good poem :)

[Libby McKeown]

It's quite an eloquent metaphor, and somehow the lost object of your affection feels these words. Keep singing.

[Sourav]

I feel that this is very simple yet very impactful. Emotional and deep. Good write to me.

[Sleeping Maiden]

Very well written. =D I love the imagery. the pain of love is very well described here.

[*** Hey Jude***]

Your share about the pain of love gone wrong that is palpable. It is so hard to let go sometimes. I hope you find peace in the knowledge that there is someone out there that will treat you as you deserve. For someone to tell you something so important over the phone sounds cruel. You deserve someone that will love you110%. May Christmas Blessings abound! ~ Jude :-)

[sheila russ]

Astonishingly beautiful

[Tate Morgan]

Promises of divine love never seem to live up to the reality of life as nature is unforgiving

[....]

love the imagery and the write. Well done!

[Karen666]

very beautiful poem