Black Sky's

(Completed Oct 24, 2012)

With black skys above, I stand here. The ground beneath my feet have started to tremble as it cracks from the lightning consistently striking it around me. Making the buildings I once worked so hard to build and things I once considered myself fortunate for have started to come crashing down before my eyes.

There's no where for me to hide since I can't run away from this. My guilt from the past, acceptance of the present and future as I start a new. Especially when faced with fate and truth as the ashes of my past fall around me like the spring rain.

I feel as if I'm in a constant fight with myself. I don't want to go back and forth in constant battles as I fight this head on. Makes me so upset of being who I am now as I convert to who I could grow into. Yet, I'm not sure about how to go about getting there. It's tearing me apart as to which road would be best to take.

In the mist of all this my heavy heart has taken a toll on the relationship I have with not only myself, but the relationships I have with people. Driving them away as a result. In my heart, I know nothing else could ever be worse than not having a good relationship with myself before anything else. As it will live and breathe. Suffocating me in the process the more I leave it untreated as it consumes me.

My lack of self-disipline and not having a clear head will hold be back time after time in the future as well. This is one of many hurdles I must overcome throughout my long and strenuous journey before ending for good.