Paradise Lost

Unreciprocated love

You're like a vampire,

 Draining my blood,

 Feeding on my life,

 Leaving me a husk.

I brought you to heaven,

 But you sent me to hell,

I gifted you the stars,

 Like I'm under your spell.

I gave you the world,

 But you polluted its core,

 Turned beauty to ashes,

 Love to a war.

I leaped for you,

 But you watched me drown,

 Pulled by your indifference,

 Sinking, I found.

How does it feel,

 To bask in the light,

 Of the paradise I built,

 From my own heart's fight?

Author's Note

Feel free to comment and criticize. Thank you!

Reviews

[Poetic_Vixen]

The ending few lines have been heart rendering, how immaculately you have built the melancholy of the idea of devoting all of our love to someone who never looked at us the same, I think when we are finally at the pieces of love we felt alone that we realise how precious it would all have been if we kept it all to ourselves, how driven we were to dump all our sweet blessings we were lucky to have to somewhere it will never yield any fruits, yet the surge of self worth at that collapse is a strong turning point for us, I believe, this poem was a graceful look into unreturned love, beautifully written my friend, you have done it very well here with your words!

[Mystical Ink]

Your interpretation of the ending lines captures the essence of the poem beautifully. Thank you for sharing your insightful thoughts and for your kind encouragement!

[Poetic_Vixen]

You're welcome!

[Betty Hermelee]

Love is a two way street, and it seems in this piece it is strictly one way...and you have been poisoned by your significant other ...in that he does nothing for you.... and you speak of that persistently...all the things you have done for him... a terrible struggle for you....and then sarcastically you tell him to enjoy all that you have created for him...it's like "go to hell now"....Your heart certainly fought hard.... excellent!
Warmly, B

[Coyote Poetry]

Love should be kindness and concern. New generation like to steal and escape dear poet.
"I gave you the world,
But you polluted its core,
Turned beauty to ashes,
Love to a war."
I liked the above lines. I got older and wiser. I keep silence now and I appreciate the gift of kindness. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Mystical Ink]

It's true, kindness and concern are the heart of love, and it's wonderful to hear that you appreciate these values. Your wisdom and perspective are inspiring, and I'm grateful for your appreciation of my poetry. Thank you for sharing your insights and for your kind feedback.

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my pleasure and you are welcome dear poet.

[Pete]

when we love, we put ourselves at risk and become vulnerable if the feeling is no reciprocal or worse taken advantage of. the problem is that we don't have much control over it - it is a powerful emotion. clever and telling how you draw a parallel with the fall from grace.

[Mystical Ink]

Thank you for sharing these thoughtful insights. Your words remind us of the bravery required to love fully and the importance of embracing this powerful emotion, despite its risks.

[Franky]

This is focussed and well written I love especially the last stanza. How does it feel. Very clearly written for the many brokenhearted.

[Mystical Ink]

It feels incredibly validating to hear that! It's encouraging to know that the message reached you clearly, especially for those who have experienced heartbreak.

[Franky]

Reading it a second time I appreciate the fluidity and emotion here. Very sad stuff too.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

talking about taking advantage of another's affection...yes, very draining...I have felt this in the past.
relatable poem.
j.