First read of yours..
I understand your feelings, but we just need to be careful what we do or say.
Just something I noticed.
In your 1st Verse 4th line I think you meant allures ...not allure.
and in your 3rd verse 2nd line I think you meant fiends not fiend.
Also, I really think this could be a much stronger poem if you added punctuation.
I say all this because I do like your thoughts...
When I review I like to be honest,
Lisa, now in Spain
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
Thank you, Lisa! I so much appreciate your review. It's very helpful for a novice like me. I made so.. read moreThank you, Lisa! I so much appreciate your review. It's very helpful for a novice like me. I made some correction. Bless you!
1 Year Ago
Delighted to help! I see you made some changes... Reads better now.
Lisa
Everybody knows everything about you and there is nowhere to hide it seems. If I just mention something to a colleague about coffee, the next thing I know there are ads for coffee on my phone. It is very hard to know who to trust and who to not trust anymore. Nicely done.
Sounds a bit paranoid to me. But of course, it's true. Except, in this day and age, you shouldn't say what you don't want the world to know. A secret is safe between two people only if one of them dies. My mother used to say, "Keep yourself to yourself." Some people have just never learned that bit of wisdom. I enjoyed the read.
I am a poet who digs into the shadows of the human experience, weaving words into dark tapestries that explore the twisted depths of the soul. With ink as my medium, I paint haunting verses that reson.. more..