I Don't Belong

Alienation, identity, and the journey towards self-acceptance and inner peace.

Why can't I fit in this crowd?

I forced it, but I stumbled.

With their feet, stepping on my back.

On this ground, I can't possibly stand.

There's no more agony, no more sound.

I lost the crowd, but my voice was found.

In this stampede, I was the fallen leaf.

Gently swept away, beneath the grief.

Author's Note

I'm a novice writer. I'd appreciate hearing your opinions.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I do understand this poem.
"I lost the crowd, and from here
I found the peace I thought I had"
Took me 32 years and hell bound life to know what I needed. Life is a steady pace of learning and learning more. I love your poetry. Please send me read requests and thank you for sharing your amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Mystical Ink]

I'm glad that you loved it. Thank you, my friend!

[Coyote Poetry]

I did enjoy and you are welcome.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

A favorite quote of mine is, "Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." Mark Twain I've a book which entails various rejections from critics on authors and artists. Some of them are hilarious in retrospect. One reads something like, "We are sorry but we feel that your music lacks originality and guitar bands are on the way out." It was written to The Beatles. Another reads, " We don't think our readers would be interested in stories about the frozen North. We suggest you try another publication." It was to Jack London. Don't let the advice of critical people dictate your art. They're just critics. They are not the be all or end all of anything. Do what you like. Be who you are. "Write what you know." I understood your poem completely. But don't worry about trying to "fit in" so much or you'll never find your own niche. Imagine Picasso trying to paint like Raphael. We wouldn't have his highly recognizable style of art with us today. I enjoyed your poem and I'm giving it the highest marks possible. Thank you for sharing your talents with us. F.

[Mystical Ink]

This just motivates me to keep going. I know I have a lot more skills to develope to improve my writings and it takes time. I don't want to give this up, I want to give myself a chance. I write what I feel and it feels really good letting it out through the form of art. I so much appreciate your review and advise. Thank you!

[JayG]

The problem is that this is you talking about things meaningful to you, to someone who has no reason to want to know, and, no context to make it meaningful. So you're giving the reader effect without cause.

If you saw the film Beetlejuice, it reminds me too much of Lydia's Suicide note.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1y5Hilp4rFg

But that aside, people don't come to poetry to read dismal damsel poems. High school lit mags are filled with them. They want to be made to feel, and care, not nod and say, "Aww... Poor baby." And to do that requires the skills of poetry that have been developed over centuries—skills we're not even told exist in our school days.

Nonfiction would tell us that someone cried at a funeral. Poetry, written well, will give the READER reason to weep. Do that, and your reader, wiping away tears, will thank you. So investing a bit of time in acquiring those skills makes a lot of sense.

One great way of doing that is with Mary Oliver's, A Poetry Handbook. You can download a readable copy here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1y5Hilp4rFg

But in the end you'll probably want to buy a good copy of your own. It's filled with unexpected little tidbits of information, like why we sometimes use "a rock" and at other, "a stone," And why no one shouts, "Oh Feces!"

So grab a copy and dig in.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/

[Mystical Ink]

This is exactly what I need to hear right now. Thank you so much in taking time reviewing my work and for giving your insight!