I know it starts rhyming halfway through, but that honestly was unintentional. It just happened. Do you think it makes the poem sound...off? It sort of bothers me, but at the same time, I like it.
Also, on an unrelated note: Did you know that every part of the dandelion can be eaten?
My Review
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Very interesting, this poem.
To write of the perspective of flowers, and botany itself in classes like majesty and meek, and just today I heard someone say
that it is the meek who shall inherit the earth,
and although I am madly in love with the rose,
literally,
=)
a dandelion is the only flower on which one can make a wish.
But still i wish for the rose,
even though i am the lily in the garden,
and even though I always make a wish on a dandelion every chance I get...
I just did yesterday,
and today I wished to see a flower in poetry.
My wish came true!
I was so into the message I didn't notice the writing scheme. I love the dandelion too, particularly the tenacity of it, both in literal and metaphorical meaning.
Anyway, I really liked this poem. I have a friend on here who used roses in a poem as well. As a metaphor, but it was still beautiful. It's in my library if you wanna check it out.
This review is rambling. But I guess what I wanted to say is that you're right. The rose is beautiful... but not always what she's cracked up to be. :-)
My grandfather use to make dandelion wine, and cook the greens. This is a very nice poem. Thank you for sharing. We use to make wishes blowing the seeds into the air. Debileah
The first half is almost like the intro to the poem or a set up of the scene.
Your right about it being off in places. Try removing this verse "it's not her pride that greatest pleases me," (or just the word greatest) and "with an intangible brightness." and then read it again. I love the word intangible. I don't know if that is any help but I hope it is.
I adored the way you were speaking about flowers. It is the flower cultivated to grow our love. There is a place in our brain where the pink, the blue you see is "filled in" for a conscious experience. A liked the dandelion homage. My favorite lines were "who grows in the grass, apart from the rest. / cursed as a weed, reviled much by most, ". Pretty. Thank you.
The point of view was refreshing in this delightful poem making a wonderful case for the often maligned dandelion. While I know that most people consider them weeds, they look so sunny and cherrful with their heads sticking out of the grass. As to the rhyme incorporated naturally, I would let it go, it read well and it isn't awkward to me.
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