Thriteen

At the age of 13 every child gets integrated into the system. Its a grotesque operation that only a select few can perform correctly. A child is brought into a large white walled room, and told to lay on a dark grey granite table. The doctor then walks in and injects you with an anesthetic, where you drift off to dream land. Most people don’t remember anything after that point, except waking up in a new land, one that is better. I didn't forget. I didn't forget a single thing.

     On November 8th, I turned 13. I woke up that morning scared. Everyone else I knew disappears on their 13th birthday, so I knew I was next. Professor Y knocked on my door and walked through the dark oak door. He was built like a mountain, worn and cracked. His wrinkles were like valleys that streamed down to his hands, and his hair was  the color of snow that topped a mountain. He took a seat at the end of my bed. "Now listen here, I know you're scared, you have every right to be, but you need to listen to my next words carefully." He ended with a sigh. He closed his eyes and began to speak again, "You mustn't forget. I've taught you things here that I've never taught the other children, you can't ever forget what you've learned. I believe in you. I believe you will figure this all out and save us all." He opened his eyes, and stared straight at me. His deep dark eyes spoke of the past, of the terrible sights of war. He got up from the edge of the bed and walked to the door, he slowly turned around. " What must you do?" " I..I must never forget". He turned his back to me and shut the door.

The men who came and took me were dressed in large white suits with masks that covered their face,they treated me as if I was some form of disease. One man took my suitcase and the other took my arm to lead me away. I turned around to take one last look, 12 pairs of tear stricken eyes stared back at me. My eyes scanned for Professor Y, but I couldn’t find him. “ I’ll never forget you guys.”

They Pushed me into the back seat of the car and slammed the door. We arrived at a large white round building. They led me down corridors of hallways that all looked identical, when we had finally reached the ending the man swung the door open, the room was a waiting room, with chairs that lined the wall. There were 3 other people in the room, all kids, all 13. One girl and two boys. The man in the suit told me to go take a seat. I was the last one to get called in, none of the other children every came back out the door. A man in a blue suit came and motioned me to follow him. My palms were sweaty but I got up and followed him into the room. The room was large, its walls white. The man told me to take a seat on a large grey granite table. He then came up to me with a syringe, “This will only hurt a little bit, but don’t worry, you’re going to wake up in a better place.”

Five years later to the day I've never forgotten what happened, now my goal is to search for other people who haven’t forgotten. This new land isn't really what it appears to be and its what they did to bring us here that is the most disturbing.

Author's Note

Any Feedback is greatly appreciated.
I couldn't think of a good title to use so I just made a generic one, but if anyone has any ideas on a title I'd love to hear them :)

~~ Bri

Reviews

[Wolfwind]

That was a really good and refreshing read. It left me wanting to know what happens next in the story and all the things that went on over the last 5 years. I loved all the description and the way you used it to give a vivid and tangible visual to everything. Nicely done!

Wolfwind

[Ryan Henderson]

This was very good! You could make this into a multi chapter book if you really wanted, you ended the story suggesting you would do as such, so why not? It is your choice, I think it might be a fun project to work on... Anyway. I liked how this piece flowed, how it was original and new. The whole 'new world order conspiracy' type genre never really pleased me, but this short little story was surprisingly entertaining. As for the title, I think it is fine the way it is, it describes the book, and kind of leaves an air of mystery and wonder, maybe even curiosity which will make the reader want to read it, kind of like it made me want to read it. Overall, very well done, I will be reading more of your works!

[Justin]

that was really good, it is like a fantasy story in my opinion, i believe that you can build off it :) great job :)