Sounds a bit like shel silverstien. Simple, but if you were going for that then that's fine. You state the theme and it is a lot of build up- perhaps too much? Some wording is a bit awk. It doesnt need to always rhyme. i like the idea behind it, but it seems a little repetitive. revise and its a great poem
Posted 9 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks for the comments, as far as Shel Silverstien I wasn't sure, after research I actually bought .. read moreThanks for the comments, as far as Shel Silverstien I wasn't sure, after research I actually bought several of his books from my son. way back when my son was still a child. Thanks for your review.
Wow! This poem makes a realization that the peace is still the great formula for the love in this world. At first, you highlighted the contributions of the mathematicians then the last line surprised me. Yes, it is. Maybe genius cannot do that, but us. Keep writing!
what a valid question you ask at the end of this. We need someone to come up with that invention, or theory or equation which will produce some love in the world.
Sounds a bit like shel silverstien. Simple, but if you were going for that then that's fine. You state the theme and it is a lot of build up- perhaps too much? Some wording is a bit awk. It doesnt need to always rhyme. i like the idea behind it, but it seems a little repetitive. revise and its a great poem
Posted 9 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks for the comments, as far as Shel Silverstien I wasn't sure, after research I actually bought .. read moreThanks for the comments, as far as Shel Silverstien I wasn't sure, after research I actually bought several of his books from my son. way back when my son was still a child. Thanks for your review.
I just love the use of mathematics. Being a math buff, myself, I found very enjoyable. I like you incorporated deeper meaning at the end. Keep up the good work; I am looking forward to your next work.
You have the gift of selecting words that enhance the deep emotions you are evoking. It is so easy to lapse into platitudes and cheesy language, but this poem is the opposite... strong, compelling and brilliant phrasing.
Yes, I have to agree. There's a whole lot of genius being poured into winning the wars.
World peace... It would require whole lot of undoing. Rewinding. But how far back?
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you Ana, and maybe not even rewinding but an acceptance of enough is enough. The scientist who.. read moreThank you Ana, and maybe not even rewinding but an acceptance of enough is enough. The scientist who study for progress and advances, bravo. The ones who become obsessed only because they want the recognition of being the next BIG famous scientist, and they do not care who these experiments hurt or what they will do for the future those are the ones that suck. And it sickens me how organizations like the CIA, Military, and so on have no problem using humans as lab rats, without them even knowing it. Not just here worldwide. It's all nuts. Thanks for your comments very true.
A great tribute - kept looking for Nash - writing down notes for my son and then bam, you hit me great ending. But maybe we can look at our leaders, packed full of business majors, others alike, ready to debate, but where are the scientists in our leaders, in America? Money seems to rule and the only way, I see they are elected is by people that have an interest. Where are the social scientist, environments; people that can give another perspective. I pray....What a great writing. Thank you. Dale
good one... the last line is a gem.....completely agree with ANTO about the theorems you had to try to find out :)
But good message in this one too.....
STARTED COLLEGE AND SUPER BUSY TAKING SMALL BREAK !! WRITE ON MY FRIENDS
Brian B. 41 yr old male, wanna be writer, Louisville, Ky. I am a sucker for stories/poems of struggle and tough times, especia.. more..