The downstairs apartment

Two soon to be lovers finally meet. They only know each other online.

I was so excited to see you arrive at the gate.  You looked tired, but amazing.   

I went to you and you smiled brightly.  You put your bags down to hug me completely. 

We walked to the lot in awkwardness as this was our first meeting.

I reached out for you as you were set to enter my car.  You felt so good, although I barely touched you.  You then smiled beautifully at me as you entered my waiting car.

We stopped at a bar for a drink on the way back to my home.  Neither of us were hungry for food.  I marveled at how enchanting you looked.

Later we arrived at my small basement apartment in the city.  I carried your bags inside.  The only light at midday was the natural light from each of the windows.

I thought we would settle inside, share a movie, and have polite conversation before retiring in separate rooms for the night.

I was delighted to see how close you had moved to me on the couch.  I could have sat on this couch with you for a thousand years.  Your legs looked amazing in your pretty dress. 

Unexpectedly, you reached over to take my drink from me, stood up, reached out for my hand, and led me to the other room.

I was flush with excitement and short of breath as you stood in front of my bed and gave me a lingering gaze.  I kept moving toward you so that I could see nothing but your serene face.

You put your hands on my shoulders as I reached down to kiss you softly.  A minute later we were in full embrace as our kissing became more intent. Your lips felt like heaven.  Your breath was hot. 

We involuntarily fell back onto the bed not slowing in our magical kiss.  I held you firmly as I couldn’t hide my readiness for what would happen next.

Clothing was shed quickly.  I will never forget the feeling of your silky skin against mine under the sheets. We were on autopilot as our every move seemed mysteriously choreographed.

I stopped briefly to reach down and remove your socks so that I could enjoy your loveliness complete. I quickly shed my briefs so that nothing could stop our next movements.

At the foot of the bed I reached for your waiting foot in order to start my ascent.  The taste of each of your toes was exquisite.  My hands reached to explore and handle your shapely white calves. 

I started to move up your beautiful body as you whimpered at this sweet, unexpected intensity.  Kissing your knees was perhaps the highlight thus far of my existence. 

Later, I quickly entered your sweet love canal.  You were ready and waiting.  Your moistness told me of our mutual desire.

Our intoxicating love making continued for over two hours.  You then fell exhaustedly into my waiting arms warm and sated.

Our breathing was only starting to abate when I could hear your rhythmic sleep.  I couldn’t join you in slumber yet as I could only just patiently wait for our next delightful lovemaking.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

For me, this is the perfect balance of where I like sensual writing to be. You've come right up to the line without this becoming erotic writing. Erotic writing is good, too, but I believe it's more fun to plant ideas in the reader's mind & let those ideas grow in whatever way that reader may like it done in this arena, rather than pigeonholing ourselves by writing something too specific which may or may not be the reader's cup of tea. Great pacing, realistic sequence of details, but one thing could be pumped up just a tad. You speak in generalities, but I believe specifics is where the sparkle really shines. Such words as "amazing" . . . "felt so good" . . . "smiled beautifully" & so on (tons of it!) All this could be pumped up if you picked something that makes this scene different from every other love scene (& millions have been written & filmed). What exactly makes her amazing? One way to get beyond generalities is to ask yourself these questions: What did it feel like, what did it taste like, what did it sound like, look like, smell like? This will bring you into a more sensory realm. But all in all, nicely well-done (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Franky]

Thank you my new friend......I'm very encouraged by your thoughtful words and ideas. I will think on your ideas. 😊

[Samuel Dickens]

Experiences like this are way back in my past, but yep--I can still mentally put myself there, and whoopee! Yeah, you laid this one out like a dream, a real "I got lucky last night" encounter that one never forgets. Excellent writing, Franky.

[Franky]

Thank you Sam. I appreciate your thoughts!

[Clarisse]

This lovely story really tampered with my heart. I could imagen every second of the story unfolding. I like that the sentences are spread apart...

[Franky]

I'm so glad. 🙂🙂 Thank you.

[Clarisse]

Why couldn't the narrator join the girl?

[living lavender]

the emotional build up...loved this read.
trying to figure the other out. both having secret desires.
{the subtle connection. turning into a wild fire.}

[Franky]

Thank you Lavender. What a nice review.

[Coffeeprincess]

Wow, steamy! I love it. I felt like I was there. Every word was intimate, captivating, and engaging. You can feel the chemistry between the lovers is strong. I love your description of silky skin.

[Franky]

Oh thank you! What a nice review. Sometimes i really need positives like that.

[Dilan Gray]

Such a sensual picture you've painted with your words. I love the intimacy.

[Franky]

Thank you. I am honored to have you read and comment.

[Dilan Gray]

You're welcome!

[Unforgiven II]

Lol. Just what every guy wants: instant sex, with no commitment whatsoever.

[Seuwandi]

It felt like reading thought after thought of the protagonist in the story. You have conjured a very good vision of the character and his sensuality.
"We were on autopilot as our every move seemed mysteriously choreographed"
Well, this made me actually imagine the scene in my head.
Thank for sharing you r work with us Frankie

[Franky]

I appreciate that review thank you.

[VJWild]

Wow, this is great! It's like it's in first and second person! It's simple yet impactful and relatable. Love it!

[Franky]

Thank you VJ so much for your wonderful review. It's appreciated much! I'm not understanding the second person mention. Can you fill me in on that? I'm still a novice writer. Thanks again.

[VJWild]

So, and I’ve never written in 2nd person ...but... anybody who knows a little better please correct me ... but 2nd person is where the author writes from the “you” perspective... you wait here and make yourself at home.... you pick up the remote and turn on the tv... yet you are writing from the “I” perspective, also. It’s so cool! Like watching the story unfold from all angles! It’s great!!

[Franky]

Wow. Thank you! You are a kind person 🙂

[Delmar Cooper]

Let me get a comment about tastefully erotic or something similar out of the way now. I would like to talk about how the story is written and let the experts judge the sex.

The story is written in declarative sentences much like a report would be written. The audience is the male lover (to himself) and his paramour. It read as if he intends her to read this, his diary. It does not lend itself to a more general readership. The reader is not invited in; the writer tells me the fat lady is singing without bringing out the fat lady and letting her sing.
It is for the most part in active voice. There are a couple of passive voice instances, associated with the "to be" verb "was." These deserve your attention.
Barleygirl mentioned the modifiers. I proof read my own stories mentally omitting modifiers , except for number, color and essential condition. Then add aback as needed. The bones of a good story are nouns and verbs.

I enjoyed your story and I am glad you shared it.
Cooper

[Franky]

Thank you immensely for your time and attention. I appreciate it. I have learned somethings today.

[Nix is typing...]

I've read a lot of your stuff, Frankie, never really left a comment, but I love a lot of your writes! This one was very tasteful, and I honestly had to click on it cuz of the description, "Two soon-to-be lovers finally meet. They only know each other online." I've encountered many online that I've hated myself for falling in love with and desperately wanting to meet them in real life. I've never really read a story like this before, only knowing the person that you're in love with online, then actually meeting them. I really liked it! I hope to meet someone I met online in real life one day...and having a situation like this play out! Honestly a little embarrassed to admit that, but my point here is: I really enjoyed this read. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Frankie. :)

100/100

Nix ❤️️

[Franky]

What a wonderful review!! Thank you immensely, your words here m are my day. Thxnk you.

[Nix is typing...]

You're very welcome :)

[Franky]

I meant made my day. Sorry.

[Nix is typing...]

That's perfectly fine! I'm so happy to have made your day :)