Feeling it

It happened one night.

When I saw you   I knew

 

You had that look  The look that said yes

 

We had only been friends  This now changed

 

My mouth went dry   Your heart pounded

 

You smiled so sweet   My eyes so bright

 

I walked to you   You stood your space

 

You appeared unsure   My breathing was not

 

I sized you up   The momentum moved us

 

You stood in your area   The game was on

 

I touched your face   You didn't flinch

 

You looked up   I could hear your heart

 

You smiled sweetly   I kissed your lips

 

We knew

Reviews

[Lorelei1969]

I love the way love is portrayed in this poem; the differences in the reactions, the knowing, the start to finish. When you know, you know and I honestly believe in most situations we know! I was able to envision the looks, the expressions, the gestures. Even writing this review I can picture each face. Well done!

[Ballpark Frank]

Oh my! Thank you! It was completely fiction but it flowed somehow. I appreciate you reading this. Very kind.

[Glenda]

Yes, it is a beautiful love story told in condensed form. The comments usually help me to write a review. I've experienced love unrequited and it hurts until it's justified. Thanks for sharing this "fiction".

[Şenay🥀]

Wonderful, romantic poem about friendship turning into love.
Connection matters much with that other person. Connection is part of any close friendship. It’s the little things that make the difference.
How wonderful to grow into love with the one who knows you best. Sure, putting it all on the line with your most cherished friendship is risky. It doesn’t always lead to a happy ending, but Love is always worth the risk.

[Ballpark Frank]

Thank you Senay for such a thoughtful, helpful review. 😊

[Şenay🥀]

You're welcome, enjoyed reading it.

[Blooming Flower]

This is beautiful, I love how both sides have thoughts that don't get mixed up. The formating you used was also creative. The space but no period between the two people. Amazing!!

[Ballpark Frank]

Thank you! You are very Kind. I appreciate it.

[Eilis]

This makes me think of how we go over experiences in our heads after they’ve happened. Here it’s like revisiting a wonderful moment of connection between two people. Those are fun moments to dissect and replay. Remembering how we got to that crescendo moment. I like how delineate the two people in the poem with the separation of the lines. It creates the duality in my head as I read. I liked how visual this was as I read it. Great work.

[Ballpark Frank]

What an excellent, helpful review! Thank you immensely. I appreciate you taking the time.

[Pryde Foltz]

That worked ... loved the call and answer effect you created with this unusual structure. I was reminded of Dean Martin and I think it was Doris Day ... singing Baby It is Cold Outside. Wonderful verse.

[Brandy]

' We knew '
That's all it takes !

When the feeling is mutual, everything seems to fall into place.

This is so beautiful and romantic. : )
Your thoughts leave me in awe.

[Ballpark Frank]

Oops. I never saw this nice review until now. Lol.

Thank you so much for taking the time and leaving a great review. 👍

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

i always enjoy love stories with happy endings. never happened in real life, not for me. but i like these stories. there was one time i thought i'd broke through the friendzone, but that was a big miscalculation on my half. we're still friends though. yeah, but it was a cool piece that captured that one shot really vividly.

[Ballpark Frank]

Thank you Ern. I really appreciate your thoughts and reading this too.

[emmajoygreen]

The layout, the brevity - of each part of the emotion or action, gently speeds the relationship onwards and forwards into that special time when.. 'we knew'. Is like positive turmoil gathering momentum already knowing its final destination! Fine poem and scrumptiously perfect seduction!

[Ballpark Frank]

Awesome review my friend. That makes me want to write more.

[emmajoygreen]

Just read it again.. it has reality all around it.

[Ballpark Frank]

Thank you! It was fiction but I greatly
Appreciate that.

[Papaya]

This is a really nice love poem. No need to over complicate things.
When you know, you know. You capture the moment perfectly, drawing your reader into the scene.

[Ballpark Frank]

Thank you Ana. You're very kind.

[Papaya]

You're welcome Franky. My pleasure 🙂

[Mari' Emeraude]

Many a sweet romance begins this way. What a lovely way to remember!

[Ballpark Frank]

Thank you so much. You're very kind.