Poems from 2013

poems from 2013...felt in the heart....never penned down...

1)

A solitude, an oracle of isolated inner beauty

There will be no prophecies which wash

Over the night, or rise at Noon

Only, the little gains of constant pondering

A finality to be invisible

Or create autonomy as an order of survival

The earth has vanished, I am alone

Nothing proves I am alive

I become transparently rippling

My years away, though I’ve

Come to cherish them, tenderly

They say at the threshold of birth

We come into this world alone

Now I've come to terms with certain things

Like birth and death, and the necessity

Of loving or falling back to only, loving ourselves.

You know it, with your silk grin of patience, your

Vocabulary that can’t be cataloged

Your words strike me as a saber of the future

With your spoken language so far superior to mine

It wasn't surprising

That I’m running out of ways to distract myself from

The inevitable dilemma that I can’t stop writing

About my lack of mentors, lover, legacies

Nothing can compare to the exposure of my dying lips

Of the trinkets of your humanitarian sustenance

I caught myself worshiping today

At the thought of discovering you, losing you, crying

Triumph in-between your surrealism and the non-locality

Of how we know of each other at all

Like a rumor of lost identity hushed in semantics.

I must understand what it means to be wounded

how it feels to be burned, everything is made of fire

There is nothing drastic left, that can be done

I can no longer be the ring-knocker at your door.

;

2)

I am swept in a strange silence dear

With beauty swept clean

Alone in my little summer green

Give me the old silence of

The little woods,the spring,like our childhood

Where grass was brighter than the sun

I am swayed into my poetic rituals

With dearest hopes of dead love

Unable to recapture Spring memories

Of years passed, I walk now aerial

I drown in the leaves of surrender

Nature takes me smelling the days

Past the brief snatches of wonder that I knew

I am a poet of too much sayings

But there isn't anything left of me

But trunks of rain, running wood

That catches the roots of scents.

Till Autumn sings summer’s missed dawns

Life is too casual for me

The petals are destroyed of

My favorite beauty

The sun burns on a rose

Where my spirit and idealism once lay

My heart dreams of an angel

that I used to know, time sings and I close my eyes

To the touch of the ache of empty years

Hours I dream alone, my love it fades and grows prominent.

;

3)

Places among the stars

I knew my insides were

Quantum gardens, treasure-places

 

Of distant beauty

Shed no beams so close

Upon my tied up vulnerable heart

It was supposed to be a place

Of golden days, silver nights

 

Where someone could sleep

In a shelter, that was then

Now I am a part of the suffering world

 

In a place of slow evolution

Violent and passive, beyond repair

I saw myself pursuing horizons

 

Grim and smiling, no meaning of flowers for you.

;

4)

I do not dare look into your pure eyes

I've seen myself there before, but not today

How can I touch your miraculous hand

 

When youth & idealism in me has waned?

When my love is not what it once was!

I am guilty of cowardice, you see

 

I do not write about the high forms

I only watch the symptoms of my brain

For the presence of divine grace

 

Little green branches, in temporal particles

I've swallowed too much of this Earth

That I have forgotten the cosmos

 

For I couldn't have possibly lived

Had I not had roots in the lovely stars!

A birth of light and extraordinary fire

 

It makes me laugh at darkness, even

When I live in the heart of my own abyss.

;

5)

 

In a thousand echoes of the Mother's gratitude

My hearts gets strong with spirituality

Nature's natural overflowing of faith. 

I am that stillness that turns the house

My life is split-leafed maple absence

 

And I cannot recall myself back

Months waiting patiently to return back to normal

From my hope in the rough, my stamp of liberty

 

Not love, for me, not now

I am that stillness that burns in the chest

When I feel so obscured from a good view

 

Her face was the flame of my retinas

I could not live in the suburbs, I could not partner

How light entered those continents of hours

 

There was no extra room for me

In the way her life growled, her wishes

Went beyond my capacity to fulfill her

 

She used to call me effeminate, pathetic, unbold

And I stared blankly waiting for, the day

She would not let me come home, that day

 

I turned over the keys, even her posturing of sadness

Was something she had dealt with long before.  

;

6)

It's unnecessary to still

Be thinking of you, after many weeks and months

Do I have to follow you like a lost puppy?

 

But the shame of my own past?

I absorbed illusions, believing

You would stand with me

 

Through life's stings and bewitchments

 it's unnecessary to hope too much

I dreamed our origin of friendship

 

Was stronger, that I was more beloved

Than those people who abused you

But apparently not, and I carry a certain fatigue

 

When I remember all I gave

There is a broad country of another life

Where I find closure, but not today

 

I wander from one place to another

With your voice lingering on my ears

I establish clauses indefinably sad

 

Through your face is fading in my memory

Unnecessary, it's unnecessary to ponder

Why you left, in all your dishonesty

 

Sleep will age faded violets 

And the wage of my heart will go down

Another few inches, to poverty

 

Spiritual, physical, intimate poverty

This rapturous anxiety is not worth

Of your broken life, and now you and I are broken. 

;

7)

When I cried for help

You were not there

Not angels of mercy

 

Or loving friends

I waited half sleeping for a sob

To shut me up in the spare room

 

Where I had to left my heart

In your house, you didn't feel it

And everywhere else on earth

 

Was the throb, I needed you

Outside in the dusk, the dust settled

But where were you, that night?

 

You were my love sorrow

Kicking me to the curb

In my hour of need, my hour of hunger

 

I was so utterly alone

Sleepless, up for you

Unwanted and mute

 

I nearly didn't have patience

To endure that poverty

When I cried for help

Nobody answered, nobody. 

Reviews

[Vidya Bacchus]

Well we all wonder about life.Musing about decisions and the repercussions of our actions:)

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A crafted piece that allows one to wallow and answer the readers questions, well done, good read.