Sonnet 6: How love ran on with its wings?

Sorry if I forget if am an "I" or a "We" .....just sometimes in our love stories, we lose a bit of our identities...

How love ran on with its wings

from isolated adoration on to close embrace

To where the solemn solitude of our heart clings

Would be a verse might drench the ascetic face.

Our reticence ,how came our isolation

that left our hearts a drowsy expanse

Moaning apart in the castration

How bitter at the our vain trance.

What disappointments,sleep forsaken nights of benevolence,

What heart aches and what tears,what long reproach

and mornings when we wake was a annoyance

What long disgust to watch the sun encroach.

Upon the plutonium chill,creeping up the heights

What loathing hate of life to see into flights.

Reviews

[Manpreet]

Nice piece!

[Tai Ryens]

Elegant vocabulary supported by the gentle whispers of a lover writing.. I love this.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

such a sophsticated, climatic unravelling of emotions, of the authors desperation, extremely well written as ever I do so admire your mastery of language!

[AWickedMoon]

A beautiful flow! Nice job :)

[Dayran]

It creates an impression in me of a father bemoaning the coming loss of his son to the inventive improvisations of the world. Thk you Bal. You made it possible for me to realize the changing ways of providence.

[InsanityWriter]

It flowed beautifully. :) Excellent poem, I greatly enjoyed it. ^_^

[MOON]

Poignant flowing write. Has a an olde world charm . Loss evident and love the title too.

[gombeggar]

love the last 2 lines fer sure...kinda has a 70's jag to it

[Deron Alexis]

a*s if love really ran away really a good comparison the metaphors you used really brought it out nicely

[David Scott]

It seems we are often doomed to crawl...
A fine ranting at love lost! A poem that moans the "castration" of the soul.

[Deron Alexis]

castration damn O.o