The Show

This head looks up above to shoot
To The Savior a warm salute
This is how my respect I show
Unique are ways I take to bow

I lay flat and stamp a tight kiss
That kiss is an exotic bliss
The land accepts it, this I know
Unique are ways I take to bow

The flag shines high, a mark of pride
Its charming beauty equals bride
The head hand salute brings my glow
Unique are ways I take to bow

Child's innocence brings a big smile
And my thin lips stretch a good mile
Showers of kisses make my show
Unique are ways I take to bow

Author's Note

An experimental piece in Kyrielle form

Reviews

[.]

Another very well written experimental piece.

You are pushing the boundaries of your poetic knowledge with each passing poem. I had to familiarise myself with the format of a Kyrielle.

It is a very well executed piece. One small note: your second line has nine syllables.....sa-vi-or is a three syllable word.

Otherwise, a neatly designed and formulated poem. Nicely done, Bala.

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you for your visit and very kind words, Doodley. I appreciate your observation. But I read Savior as two syllable word ( Sav-ior). Hence I used it. May be next time around I have to be more careful about my choice of words.
Thanks again for this constructive review.

[barleygirl]

Not familiar with this form, but your rhyme & rhythm are banging on this one. I love the way you weave together many variations on "bow" . . . all the while drawing word pictures that summon the posture you're describing in our imaginations. I love the opening stanza, since I often look up & give thanks thru-out the day as I happen upon the lovely natural delights in my days (((HUGS)))

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you Margie, for your visit and appeciation. This one began with the refrain as i wondered how we all have our unique ways of saluting and showing love and grattitude.

[Manu]

I always find a great connection between feelings and words in your poetry, B ...I have learnt a lot from from your thoughts and intent behind your writings and the way you wrote this had the same impact on me. Everyone is unique in showing gratitude and the way you show it can be very well understood from this piece.
Act of bowing is a way of expression that shows how you respect different things and virtues in life. Sometimes it shows your way of conduct too.
I loved it :-) :-)
Quite different from other topics. There is so much in this to contemplate on.
Keep writing more and more on different genres of poetry. In future I will look up to your poems for my inspiration.

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you Manu for visiting and encouraging with your kind words. I agree with your words. We all have our unique ways. I miss your work here and look forward to your writes.
Thank you for reading into the poem and enjoying it.
Keep visiting and encouraging me.

[Fahmida Mehreen]

Much too often we drown in our own agonies and glee that we completely forget that patriotism is also a love that is hidden somewhere deep down in our hearts.

Pardon me if my connotation of the poem is not accurate. But,your words revived that untold, unexpressed patriotism in me. At the same time, it made me feel ashamed realizing that as selfish as life can get, I have cocooned my love and my motherland is not inside the cocoon.

I owe you a thank for bringing back this realization. Thank you.

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you for reading and appreciating this write, Fahmida. I am glad that you liked it.
I think words can never adequately express our gratitude and love. Still we try.
You have read very well between and beyond the lines of this write making me feel blessed because that is what we expect at our subtle level.
Thank you very much for visiting.

[Fahmida Mehreen]

My pleasure :)

[Hebe]

A powerful message penned so elegantly .... you certainly did an excellent job writing this in Kyrielle form!

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you for visiting and leaving your precious words for me, Hebe. Your visits are always appreciated.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

there are many we can salute in life---those we bow to for advice or recognition for how they influence us....make us better....

really nice poem, Bala.
j.

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you for your visit and comments, Sir.thank you for appreciating the write.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I loved how you conveyed a strong message in such a beautiful form. Kyrielle is indeed a great one. My favourite stanza has to be the first one. I liked the refrain line as well.
Nicely penned, Bala 👍

[Bala Gorthi]

The first kyrielle I read was yours. Thank you for that piece that inspired me.
Thank you for your visit and the continuous support and encouraging words.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I'm honoured that I could be an inspiration, though it really was Richard in the first place who introduced me.

You're welcome, Bala. Always a pleasure reading your works 😊

[Bala Gorthi]

That is how we all Learn and improv. Thanks to the inspiration here on the cafe.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Indeed.....

[Paul]

Nicely written! I enjoyed reading this nice flowing poem. Well done.

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you for your warm visit and kind words.keep visiting, Paul.

[Surya]

Ahh!, that's a beauty showing patriotism, care and love...
I thought to write something for Soldiers, but I couldn't..and I found one now, happy now coz atleast I read about them...
Thank you Bala for sharing this write of your's...I enjoyed...:)

[Bala Gorthi]

I am glad you enjoyed this piece. You are right, Surya we show our gratitude and respects in our unique style.
Thank you as always, for visiting and supporting my work.

[Surya]

My pleasure..!!

[William Liston]

Hello Bala : )
The Kyrielle is my favorite form. I love it when repetition is done skillfully, and the Kyrielle allows this, letting the refrain convey the nuances of each stanza.
As for this Kyrielle, I must say it fits the technical requirements quite well. There's a uniform eight syllables per line and the rhyme scheme is spot-on, even with the sight rhyme in every stanza except the third. The message is also strong and clear, with the speaker expressing his or her numerous ways of showing respect and gratitude, and the beautiful typography matching the strength of the message. The final stanza was my favorite in that it mentioned a child's innocence (I love children) and compared smiling to taking a bow ... a comparision not many would think of.

Some suggestions:
- In the first line, I suggest changing "This head" to "My head" because it makes it clearer whose head you're referring to.
- In the second line, I suggest capitalizing the word "Savior" for emphasis.

- William Liston

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you very much for your very valued suggestions, William.
As for the first one, even I thought of "my head" first but I I didn't want to begin with a possessive so I thought "This head " would be better. And for the second one I agree.
We all have our unique ways of presentation that sometimes are guided by our cultures and traditions.
Opinions and suggestions always help us understand things better.
Thank you for your visit and comments.