A Hypocrite Laments

Experimental piece in villanelle form

A hypocrite covers my fragile core
My delicate state not to be unfold
So this tender heart closes the door

Boiling deep inside is a boisterous shore
But my lacrimal lakes are on a mighty hold
A hypocrite covers my fragile core

A tide of rage piercing every inner pore
If I open, the floods will kill you cold
So this tender heart closes the door

Deep inside my wounds yell a tragic lore
The misery I endure can never be told
A hypocrite covers my fragile  core

The stoic guise I have to hold a little more
Showing a hardened ace with a deceptive fold
So this tender heart closes the door

 I know the weakest closes the door
But entire life I carried an image of bold
A hypocrite covers my fragile core
So this tender heart closes the door

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I am often not impressed by this form becuz the repeated lines come across as a little too mechanical for me (following the form, more than expressing a logical sequence of ideas). On the other hand, the repetition in your poem was needed for me, becuz your message felt a little deep & cryptic, so it was good to get certain lines again, giving me a chance to re-think what is meant by this. All in all, a thought-provoking poem, but I just don't get the idea of hypocrisy from this. I do like this line: "a hypocrite covers my fragile core" as an original way to suggest that hypocrisy is done to protect oneself, oftentimes.

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you Margie, for visiting and reviewing this write. I understand what you mean by idea of hypocrisy as it is used only like a negative shade. But as you know, I try to use words in different colors and sometimes as we normally don't expect and accept. Though this person doesn't harm anyone and protects only herself by carrying a strong image, but the fact is,she deliberately hides her true soft identity.
Thank you. Keep visiting.

[barleygirl]

Thank you for sharing that idea about using words in a different light. Now I'm provoked to re-think what I mean by "hypocrisy" . . . maybe I'm too close to the political scene here which seems to define hypocrisy & I've lost my ability to consider that word in different ways. Thanks for the hint on how to get outside my typical viewpoints! (((HUGS)))

[Hebe]

It is so true when they say the harder the shell the softer the inside and you expressed this in such a delicate fragile way... very touching poem.

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you Hebe, for visiting and sharing your words. Keep visiting.

[Lydia Shutter]

A beautifully written villanelle! Many people hide their softer sides for self protection. Lydi**

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you Lydia, for your vIsit and appreciation.

[Manu]

Wow...beautifully written :-)
I loved this form as well as your writing in this. Very touching piece. Every line seems to be delicately woven carrying the weight of emotions to its core.
I loved every line equally. Most of us tend to hide ourselves beneath a bold core in order to protect ourselves from getting hurt. Hypocrite- I liked the irony of it and satire it carried within its usage..
I felt every bit of this very easily relatable piece of poetry, M :-)
You are my favourite writer :-) :-)
Keep your pen moving.

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you Manu, for your ever encouraging words.
Yes you are right dear, even I put on a strong face many times and hide that inner pain for varous reason. I am sad at your closing your account on WC. Surely I am going to miss your writing.
But keep visiting and giving your valuable inputs as they mean a lot to me..

[jacob erin-cilberto]

so many are tender inside, but try to hide it...

this is a beautiful write...

j.

[Bala Gorthi]

I appreciate your visit and words, Sir. Thank you.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"I know the weakest closes the door
But entire life I carried an image of bold
A hypocrite covers my fragile core
So this tender heart closes the door"

This was a melancholic piece to read but excellently penned. It really is hard to bring out what you really need to say while maintaining the form and structure. You portrayed it beautifully here.

About the content, I completely agree, sometimes we're strong for so long that at the end we have no choice but to give up and close the doors we'd been holding open..

I liked reading this. 👍

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you for your visit and appreciation. This is for all those with delicate heart but who put on a strong face despite miseries..

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Indeed.. you're welcome! :)

[Surya]

Deep inside my wounds yell a tragic lore
The misery I endure can never be told
A hypocrite covers my fragile  core......
This is the saddest part one can ever feel.. ..
True emotions rite, described well, I liked it... :)

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you for your visit and appreciation. Keep visiting, Surya..