A Hypocrite Laments

Experimental piece in villanelle form

A hypocrite covers my fragile core
My delicate state not to be unfold
So this tender heart closes the door

Boiling deep inside is a boisterous shore
But my lacrimal lakes are on a mighty hold
A hypocrite covers my fragile core

A tide of rage piercing every inner pore
If I open, the floods will kill you cold
So this tender heart closes the door

Deep inside my wounds yell a tragic lore
The misery I endure can never be told
A hypocrite covers my fragile  core

The stoic guise I have to hold a little more
Showing a hardened ace with a deceptive fold
So this tender heart closes the door

 I know the weakest closes the door
But entire life I carried an image of bold
A hypocrite covers my fragile core
So this tender heart closes the door

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I am often not impressed by this form becuz the repeated lines come across as a little too mechanical for me (following the form, more than expressing a logical sequence of ideas). On the other hand, the repetition in your poem was needed for me, becuz your message felt a little deep & cryptic, so it was good to get certain lines again, giving me a chance to re-think what is meant by this. All in all, a thought-provoking poem, but I just don't get the idea of hypocrisy from this. I do like this line: "a hypocrite covers my fragile core" as an original way to suggest that hypocrisy is done to protect oneself, oftentimes.

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you Margie, for visiting and reviewing this write. I understand what you mean by idea of hypocrisy as it is used only like a negative shade. But as you know, I try to use words in different colors and sometimes as we normally don't expect and accept. Though this person doesn't harm anyone and protects only herself by carrying a strong image, but the fact is,she deliberately hides her true soft identity.
Thank you. Keep visiting.

[barleygirl]

Thank you for sharing that idea about using words in a different light. Now I'm provoked to re-think what I mean by "hypocrisy" . . . maybe I'm too close to the political scene here which seems to define hypocrisy & I've lost my ability to consider that word in different ways. Thanks for the hint on how to get outside my typical viewpoints! (((HUGS)))

[Coyote Poetry]

A deep and powerful write. To look into your heart and your soul. We can find the things we dislike. Hard to be strong at all times. I believe we are not hypocrites. Just was overcome with some tasks. Thank you Bala for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Fvrrie]

Very deep and thought provoking poem, I'm also not usually a fan of the repetition but it added a much needed effect to this and tied the whole thing together!

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you for your visit and precious comments. Sorry for responding this late as I have been inactive for a few months.

[Long Whispers]

This is an amazingly penned poem.
Especially loved these lines:
A tide of rage piercing every inner pore
If I open, the floods will kill you cold
So this tender heart closes the door

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you very much for your precious visit and appreciation. Keep visiting Long Wispers.

[Michael S]

Beautiful..Beautiful writing..
Good concept. I loved this work. I could relate to this thought.

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you very much for your kind visit and precious words, Michael. I am glad that you find it relatable. In fact, I am also like this at core.

[.]

Villanelle's now huh? Havent you come a long way in a short time!

While only vaguely being knowledgeable on this type of poetry, it seems to me you have managed to keep to the format quite well.

Your piece is very engaging, well worded as always, and exudes a quiet menace and inner rage.

Congrats on attempting a very difficult form of poetry. Well done, Bala.

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you very much for your encouraging words. I wanted to try something new so this one. I am glad it didn't come bad.
I see that you are not that active these days. No write from you for many weeks. I am looking forward to your new writes.
Keep visiting.

[.]

Life has been busy, Bala. Will find the time soon for another write. And by the way....Manasvini left the site?

[Bala Gorthi]

Yes, for a while she has left. Busy with her studies. She may come back after a few months.

[.]

I see. I hope she returns. Like yourself, she is becoming a very good poet. Thanks for answering my query.

[Bala Gorthi]

She is a lot better than me. I get very amazed to find how different we both are despite the fact that she is my daughter. In fact she has put me on the cafe, and constantly encourages me. I am treading slowly, Doodley. Because of work I don't get much time to pursue my passion of writing.
Your encouraging words and very invaluable feedback always encourages me to write better.
Thank you for all those wonderful reviews and feedback that you give from time to time.

[Tony Jordan]

I'd be a hypocrite if I said I wasn't a hypocrite but I'm not a hypocrite...is that hypocritical of me?

I like the way you've arranged the words around this framework. You chose a strong refrain which makes those lines sparkle like a gemstone in the spotlight.
Nicely done Bala.
:)

[Bala Gorthi]

Well, I don't want contradict your first statement, Tony. You seem to fall in my category because I am one always hiding my tender side. Some call me coconut.
And, thank you for visiting and appreciating the write. You are words are encouraging me to write more.

[Dysphoria]

This is the first time I've come across this kind of poem. I don't think I've ever even heard of it. So I found it very interesting.
I think most people are actually hypocrites of themselves. I know for a fact I'm one. I think a lot of peole hide their innerself.
I liked this verse the most:

"Deep inside my wounds yell a tragic lore
The misery I endure can never be told
A hypocrite covers my fragile core"

I guess I find it relatable.

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you for your visit and finding it interesting.
I am also one such person carrying a bold image covering a delicate heart.
I am glad you find it relatable.

[Papaya]

well done bala, i find it challenging to write to form.
you've done so beautifully

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you for your visit and very encouraging review. Keep visiting.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Beautifully penned. It is not always easy to write a villanalle

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you for your precious time and appreciation..