The Ultimate Ultimatum

Sun yells at the blue planet

My dear blue ball,

I burn and burn to keep you warm
And to brighten your big dark farm
I send millions of brilliant sunny rays
But I am shaken up by your funny ways

You bulged in the middle, I did not meddle
You tilted your axis, I could not handle
What those high arrogant mountains show
To those deep valleys, I just want to know

Your silly acts all with those funny names
Quakes and tsunamis are your dirty games
Seeing the cries and tear loaded saline lakes
My warm red heart shakes with mighty aches

Even more stupid are your human devils
Hating, hurting, killing, they are full of evils
Wars, explosions bring many death parlors
Tell me, why they paint those horrible colors

If you and your humans don't change your ways
I shall scorch your blue to brown in coming days.

 

Reviews

[Norman 223]

I loved the opening verses describing the anomalies that have created the structure of Earth.
Then I read this as a warning against polluting the earth and destroying it by global warming. You followed this contemplating the destruction of mankind from its own greed, intolerance and cruelty.
In considering so many facets in a relatively short poem with such clarity you have produced such a
powerful poem,Bala. Excellent!
Norman

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you Sir, for visiting and appreciating this work. I am glad you liked it. Such words inspire me to continue..

[D Connolly]

Oh, Bala, it's already happening. Look at photos from space of our Earth from a few decades ago and compare it to one now... I wish the world would read your poem and learn from it. The only thing we can do is as individuals; lead by example. Cut down on supporting industries that pollute and kill our planet. Thank-you for this, you share a really important message in a very creative way

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you D Connoly, for your precious visit and appreciation.
I agree with your words.All we can do as individuals is to act in our own little way to save this beautiful "Blue Ball ", the very base of our own existence..

[barleygirl]

HEY! We just had a long earthquake while I was reading this! I live on the biggest faultline in California & the excess of rain (weight of water) is causing more earthquakes lately. I love the way you are "speaking" to the earth as a friend, with some playful comments & some a little less agreeable, kinda like chiding becuz of these unfathomable quirks. It wasn't until the final couplet that I realized the SUN was the one talking! Good imagination. So many things are written about how our planet is abused, but this is one of the most original I've ever read. Good use of details & unexpected descriptions. We've been feeling the wrath around here the last few years! (drought, fire, flood) (((HUGS)))

[Bala Gorthi]

Glad to see your comments, Margie. We too face similar problems in Indian Subcontinent. Added to natural disasters we sometimes internal unrest and crime. There is constant insecurity. A person is not safe even in his own house. That's how I started this write with the fourth stanza in mind but wanted to give it a different color. I am glad you liked it.
Thanks for visiting..

[barleygirl]

Yes, I definitely love the way your natural phenomenon reflects the social & political unrest . . . well expressed in your 4th stanza . . . original becuz of the way you seemingly lump the planet & the people together, like the planet is responsible for these stupid humans!

[Bala Gorthi]

The boss will hold his immediate subordinate responsible for the mistakes of the juniors. It was like official rebuttal from the superior. After all the Sun is the head of our solar system.
I wrote the response of the Earth in the official format but didn't post it because I wrote it to just amuse myself imagining personified conversation between the two in official channel..

[Coyote Poetry]

If the sun was God. He would be very disappointed.
"Even more stupid are your human devils
Hating, hurting, killing, they are full of evils
Wars, explosions bring many death parlors
Tell me, why they paint those horrible colors"
The above lines. True and scary ways of our world. Thank you Bala for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you Sir, for your visit and the appreciation.

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.

[Hebe]

You painted the picture of our demise so skillfully.... incredible piece!

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you Hebe, for visiting and appreciating the write.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Highlighting the defects and pointing out to the harm that is being done to the earth in a short poem commendable.
The planet really needs an ultimatum.
The devils inhabiting it have made a mess out of it.
Having said that, we are aware that there will be a day of reckoning, the Doomsday.
That warning from God has not deterred us and we continue with our evil ways.

[Bala Gorthi]

Very true Sir. Even after understanding and having concern, unfortunately there is very little we can do about this reality rather than praying and waiting for the inevitable.
Thank you for visiting , appreciating and sharing your view.

[.]

An ultimatum indeed!

I enjoyed your idea; personifying the sun and having it give Earth an ultimatum to clean up its act. Or else! Nicely done.

Your structure and flow is very well executed. Smooth flowing all throughout the piece. Your adherence to structure and attempts at rhyme consistency deserve plaudits. Rhyming throughout a piece in perfect composition is much harder than most people think!

Very well done, Bala. A thoughtful piece with a ponderous message.

[Bala Gorthi]

I am overwhelmed by this fantastic review, Doodley. I am really glad that you liked this work of mine. I agree with you that it is certainly not easy to keep rhyming throughout as well as maintaining the flow. Thanks for the encouragement.

[Lydia Shutter]

Fantastic personification of the sun and a lot of wise words here. We must change our ways to save the planet. Your rhyming and rhythm are spot on. I enjoyed this one. Lydi**

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you for the visit. Your words are always encouraging.

[JessyJacob]

Arrogant mountains and deep valleys, nice comparison,
shakes with mighty aches, shows the deepness,

but for me I think, those mighty pains are really burdebsome, some has to quit away from his path. the night train is getting cancelled, its not jealousy, but this is arrogant pain for budding one, because the little one dont need her anymore,

but how long those(my) aches, time soothens or people need to commit. But still why soothening.

dirty devils show arrogant, so that mighty aches can be felt.

But I really see the new way of thought, never stuck to the killing mind,

But this is one side of pain, but will anybody face to bear the mighty pains if they somebody gives to them.

I feel God is no jealousy.

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you for stopping by and reviewing this write. I appreciate your visit and thoughts :-)

[Norman 223]

I loved the opening verses describing the anomalies that have created the structure of Earth.
Then I read this as a warning against polluting the earth and destroying it by global warming. You followed this contemplating the destruction of mankind from its own greed, intolerance and cruelty.
In considering so many facets in a relatively short poem with such clarity you have produced such a
powerful poem,Bala. Excellent!
Norman