The Break up

Today I came out and so heartlessly you surrounded me
You pricked with that harsh touch and made me flee
Those warm hugs seem to me like a matter of past
How can I bear your changed persona till the last
Can't love this new you.Oh Hello,Who are you?
When people saw your new avatar around
They all changed their guards abound
No one here seems to mind but I do...
I can't live with one who can turn so cold
You look like a stranger in wet blanket bold
I never thought our relation would end like this..
Your cruel touch overwrites those days of bliss
The embrace that sizzled me once holds no longer
I shall take refuge in the arms of my warm comforter
Let's BREAK UP for now till you meet me in another form
Oh my winter, we can renew our bond once you turn warm..

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is one of the best poems of yours that I've read so far! I love this. I can totally relate to the dislike of the cold & dark season of winter, plus the way this represents people who "go cold" on me suddenly without explanation. Your rhyming works well with many sensory observations well-expressed. I love the "new avatar" line, which is a nice modern twist on old man winter (as we call him sometimes)! (((HUGS)))

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you Margie for all that appreciation.. The inspiration came from the cold morning breeze which virtually pricked and bit me.I rarely put on warm clothing while all others go out totally wrapped.. They all looked like warriors fully armed to fight the cold so they also came into the write. More than the cold it is the cold attitude and lack of warmth that affects me..
As for my writing, I get a lot of inspiration by reading writes of some very fine writers like you who hold the basics of poetry the rhyme and rhythm aspect in almost all writes.A few hours back I read your sonnet. Even the syllable count was maintained in that, awesome! I have to learn many things..
Thank you for visiting..

[barleygirl]

I also never wear a jacket or coat. Even when it's around 0*C, I still wear only a sweatshirt & shoes with no socks! Some mornings, it's as cold as 5*C inside my little cabin, but I still do not bundle up! Thank you for your kind compliments about my writing. I've had many decades to practice! (((HUGS)))

[Surya]

It's dark, truly it is.....and I got the feelings here as I have passed through it.It seems to be difficult but we can move on.
Thank you Bala for sharing.

[Bala Gorthi]

The beauty of poetry is, it can have many dimensions. I like your take on this. Thank you surya for your visit and words. Sorry for responding late. I missed it.

[Michael S]

A very interesting concept and personification of winter. Thanks for participating in my contest.

[Bala Gorthi]

The pleasure is mine.. Thank you for visiting and appreciating.

[Gee]

I'm with you on this Bala, I hate the cold, winter is a right bind, and I work outside. Very well written with a good rhyming scheme. Well done that poet

[Bala Gorthi]

The winter gives me many reasons to dislike it. I am glad that there are others with me on in this dislike..
Thank you, Gee, for visiting and appreciating..

[Gee]

You are most welcome

[wander girl]

Nice rhyming plus your talent of showing up the main theme at the end is quite interesting...

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you, Wander girl for visiting and appreciating..

[ManasaC]

Wow....Brilliant. I really enjoyed reading it. Good Job!

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you for visiting and appreciating....

[SZHZIA]

I don't know about you but your poem is resalable. I love your imagination on breakup particularly i love metaphor that you have used in this poem. Thanks for composing and sharing such nice poem.
Best
Szhzia

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you for visiting Szhzia! That was for the season... In life, I think breaking up is the most painful phase but that should eventually bring peace at the end...
Thank you for your appreciation.. Keep visiting:-):-):-)

[SZHZIA]

It was my pleasure to read and review your writings. you are welcome. I agree with you but why it happened is out of my understanding. Why it is painful?

[T.S. Sky]

This is a brilliant piece. Nicely done.

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you, T.S.Sky, for visiting and appreciating.....

[T.S. Sky]

You're welcome.

[Manu]

Wow, Bala..
Though i like cold weather a lot i do understand your perspective.Your encounter with the winter is summed up beautifully through this write. And the title has quite amused me...i really love the way you bring that punch at the ending.
This writing also has a subtle linking of those cold relationships that breaks you from the core.
Very nice :-) :-)

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you, Manasvini, for your understanding of this write.. Welcome back to Wc after..... is it two months? When can I expect your poem dear?
Keep visiting and commenting.....

[.]

I agree with BG....this is your most poetic write yet!

Your rhythm and flow is very consistent and the rhyme is getting better with every poem you write. Very well done, Bala.

There are many of us that can relate to this theme; the end of a relationship. You have given the reader a thorough grounding of the emotions that such an occasion invokes. A very fine piece of writing.

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you very much, Doodley for those appreciative words.. All credit goes to the kind words of guidance and encouragement that I constantly receive from my seniors (in writing) like you.
Keep inspiring me with your writes..
Keep visiting and appreciating...

[Lydia Shutter]

When a warm relationship suddenly turns cold, it seldom reverts back to the original warmth. The emotional pain is strong in this one, Bala. Lydi**

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you very much for your visit and appreciation..