The Guide: Part IV of the Quest

The prequel to the 4 part story

The Guide

1.

I have a job for you.

I used to be a guide.  That’s what I did at the time.  I didn’t start out as a guide, but kind of ended up with that title.  I really wasn’t qualified, but got the job nonetheless. 

I originally signed on with an outfitting company that supplied gear and guides to help people travel through the Canadian Wilderness.  I thought I was to be someone who packed gear and food for paid clients and their guides.  They would embark on trips into the Canadian Wilderness, while I would stay in the base camp.  But fate twisted me around and made me a guide overnight. I’m a guide because one of the senior guides blew up her knee while on the trail and had to be evacuated via floatplane.  When this happened, I went from base camp guy to Guide without me even knowing it.  When I did hear of this I became quite alarmed.  Guide?  No way.  Back then, I didn’t know how to navigate with a map or cook or anything that entails taking people out into the wilds of Canada.  But here I am now.

After three years into the job I was quite comfortable leading people into the wilderness and bringing them back in one piece. Besides the sun burn and bug bites, almost all of the guests had a nice experience.  The few that didn’t were curmudgeons who needed to lighten up in my opinion.  The rest enjoyed the outdoors and all that comes with it and told me so.  As I’m one to show great empathy to others, this was important. The trips would entail traveling by canoe, camping, fishing, and living outside for 9 days in the prettiest country known to man.

This all took place while in college where I needed money to pay for tuition, rent, and books.  Yet, while this wasn’t exactly a high paying job, I wasn’t spending any money while paddling around 50 miles from any bar or restaurant.  Rent and utilities were free as I slept on the ground and used the sun, fire, and headlamps for light.  So it worked out.  When the school year ended I was off to an Outfitters Camp happily living in the woods until the next term.

Once during the middle of a very dark night, I found myself being shaken awake by my boss.  I was between trips and was sleeping in the base camp.  Earlier that night I was in a bar with my friends.  They are also guides and we were all between trips. We drank, danced and had quite the fun time.  As the bars closed down, we piled into a very large equipment truck and bounced our way back to the landing, where a boat would take us across the lake to the camp.  It was a raucous time with much laughing and story telling of our latest trips. 

When the truck lurched to a halt, the back door swung open spilling us onto the landing laughing and falling around. When we collected ourselves and moved towards the landing, I saw a fleeting soft white light in the trees.  It was odd. My friends didn’t notice, but I suddenly stopped laughing and tried to see what caught my attention.  There was something there but I couldn’t make it out. One of my best friends, a woman named Carol noticed my change in behavior. She put her hand on my shoulder and asked if I was okay, that I looked kind of funny.  I hesitated and looked back at the woods and to her.  I stammered something and again tried to see what it was that caught my attention. It was very dark, but we were used to being in the woods at night in almost total darkness.  The darkness was natural and non-threatening.  I actually enjoyed being in the dark at night as the stars would come out and sometimes if you were lucky, Northern Lights would emerge and perform their dance of light.  So when I saw that soft white light moving through the trees, I glanced back to her and asked if she saw what it was.  She looked in the direction I was peering and said no, she saw or heard nothing.  I once again glanced at the spot and thought maybe I was drunk and with that, the memory of the light melted away as my friends loudly sang an off -key version of a Beatles song that sounded like Rocky Raccoon.  We boarded the boat and I forgot about it quite quickly.

 When I returned back to the landing at the base camp, there was my favorite girl of all time, Daisy, my Golden Retriever.  She was sitting on the edge of the pier happily wagging her tail and looking relieved at my return.  Daisy was my partner on every trip.  When I got off the boat, she enthusiastically jumped up and licked my face.  We embraced and I asked if she was the best dog in Canada.  She knows she is and it showed when she ran around the landing happily barking and bounding through the other guides.  After a bit we both made our way to our tent cabin. This was our home while we remained in base camp. The tent cabin is a modified cabin and tent structure.  The floor is wood with screen windows that can be covered by the large canvas tent fabric that is laid over the frame.  Most times the canvas is pulled away from the screen  where cool breezes float through the cabin and keep out the bugs.

I opened the door and after waiting patiently, Daisy scooted past me straight to her sleeping pad next to my cot.  She performed two complete circles on the pad and flopped down with a big sigh and closed her eyes. Before turning out the light, I rubbed her stomach, kissed her head and sang the ending notes of Rocky Raccoon quite nicely.  I then quietly flipped off my headlamp, rolled over and went to sleep.

After only 2 hours of sleep I found a bright light in my face with my boss shaking me and telling me to wake up.  He sounded pretty excited and scared.   Daisy picked up on his mood and nervously padded around while emitting scared whining noises.  The guy’s name is Dennis and he’s never excited or scared.  He is one of the most laid back people I know.  When we had a large male black bear roam through the camp one day attempting to destroy the pack house, myself and a few camp staff sort of freaked out.  Dennis though remained calm and after thinking the problem through simply walked towards the bear yelling insults.  The bear glanced up, took a couple of steps backward then rose to full height and growled a low threatening sound.  Dennis, not to be outdone, yelled more profane words with arms waving.  The bear took the hint and quickly rain back to the forest where he came, not to return again.  I always wondered why the bear didn’t comeback, as they are want to do, but he did not show his face again as far as I know.  After dispatching the bear, Dennis walked up with his slow laid back saunter, glancing at us with a smile that said volumes.  It told me he’s cool and a stud, and we’re not, at least not yet.

 I finally awoke with one thought in mind.  Dennis is never jacked up.  Never.  Something’s up and it’s not good.  With incessant shaking and flashlights in my sleepy drunk face I woke up with a couple of incoherent words and a spastic movement wondering what’s going on.  Daisy also continued to nervously jump around inside the cabin. I sat up in my underwear and tried to avert my eyes from the very bright flashlight in my face.  More than anything at this moment I really wanted to go back to sleep.  Dennis was having none of this, and told me to get dressed, and take my ready bag to the landing as I was leaving.  

Ten minutes later, Daisy and I were on the dock ready to go. I was still drunk and a bit high due to the festivities the night before.  The combination of the intoxication and lack of sleep made the scene surreal.  A low layer of ground fog hugged the lake and the loons were warbling their lonely odd song somewhere far away on the lake.  There was no other sound while I waited for the others.  Dennis and one of the base staff came running down the stairs to the landing and indicated they we have to hurry to catch a flight.  We boarded the boat and took our seats.  I moved Daisy to sit between my legs and held onto her as the boat roared off into the darkness.  On the way over, Dennis provided me the information needed to carry out my task. After three times I finally understood what he was trying to tell me regarding my operation.   

A woman was somehow left behind from her group and is now 40 some miles out in the wilderness painfully alone with no way to get back to civilization.  She has a working sat phone that she used to call 911. After receiving the call, the Sheriff called Dennis and asked if he could provide a guide to help her back to civilization and gave him the sparse details.  From what he could tell she was out of food and did not have much gear.  The stuff that she did have didn’t work or was soaked from the recent rainfall.  The Sheriff indicated she’s very afraid and somewhat hysterical.  My plan was to fly into one of the bigger lakes with my canoe and gear, then paddle to her location.  Once I found her, I was to ensure for her health and safety and then guide her back to one of the bigger lakes to be picked up by the floatplane. This really didn’t sound all that difficult as I’ve done this type of thing a couple of times.  The plane ride is fun and Daisy likes to fly.  I’m not seeing anything to get worked up about at this point, so Daisy and I are on to our next adventure.

I pulled out my worn map where I oriented myself and planned the route.  First, I had to know where I was flying to and then where to paddle.  It’s important to know the portages on your journey as some of them can be nasty. Typically the closer you are to civilization, the better the portages.  They are wide and flat and travel is quick.  Unfortunately, the woman was located far from civilization and the portages were rough. It wasn’t a problem, but I needed to visualize where I was going and what to expect.  I also had to visualize the portage entrances as they are small openings in the woods and can be missed if you’re not paying attention. After reviewing my route, I felt confident I could get to her within 24 hours or so.  I would be arriving at her location sometime in the early morning hours the day after next if all went well.

Besides my personal pack, Dennis provided 3 somewhat large packs with a tent, two sleeping bags and clothing for the woman when I arrive.  She’s probably cold and needs dry clothes.  I also have medical supplies as I was an Emergency Medical Technician at the time.  It’s since lapsed as I’ve gotten into my current profession.  Theoretically that’s all we’d need.  I had calculated a couple of days to get her warm, fed and dry, then head out for a two day journey to the float plane.  Daisy didn’t care about logistics, but just wanted to be going somewhere with me.  Always a nice thought.  

2.

The Plane

When we arrived at the dock. It always surprised me just how large   floatplanes can be.  They look small in the air, but quite massive when you’re next to one on the ground.  We met the pilot, who’s name is John and a guy I had known for some years.  He’s been doing this for a long time and very trustworthy.  John greeted me with a pat on the back and a firm handshake.  He then bent over scratched Daisy behind the ears while telling her she is a good dog.  Daisy responded with a nice dog smile and a tail wag.

John and I secured the canoe to the pontoon after a bit of wresting the craft into place, and then looked around for any extra gear that may be missed on the landing.  Seeing that we’re ready to go, I gave Daisy a whistle and pointed into the plane.  She enthusiastically jumped up on the pontoon and then into the cockpit.  Once inside, she padded into the back seat, circled once and settled in for the ride.   I jammed in with her and buckled us both while the pilot went through his preflight check.  I could hear him speaking to someone on the radio but didn’t really know who it was.

The floatplane ride was pretty much as expected.  Daisy and I were jammed in with lots of gear, and whooped when the plane roared off the lake.  To thank me for the experience, she barked twice and licked my face.  I liked it.

Flying over the woods has always given me a thrill.  The view from above always provides the bigger picture and gives pause.  It was in this moment that I reflected on my task.  There is a woman out there who needs help badly.  I tried to estimate where she is by looking north and a bit to the west.  When I thought I saw the lake where she’s located, I looked at Daisy and told her that’s where were going.  I’m pretty sure she didn’t know what I was talking about when she stared at me with that questioning look.  She understands lots of things but sometimes I forget she’s just a dog.

Back when I started this job, I had a similar rescue.  I was to pick up a injured customer via floatplane in the Canadian Wilderness.  Prior to takeoff, John and I discussed the rescue by looking at a detailed map of the injured guy’s estimated location.  Once in the air, we found the lake, circled once and landed.  The pilot taxied to the entrance of the portage leading to his location on the next smaller lake over.  I jumped out unstrapped the canoe and Daisy and I portaged across to the smaller lake then paddled to the guy’s location.  We helped him into the canoe and across the shorter portage where John was waiting.  It took a bit of wresting to get him over the pontoon and into the plane, but really it was easy.

With this job, it’s different.  We can’t pick her up directly as she’s on a smaller lake where the pilot cannot land the plane safely. The closest lake where we can lake is a 24 hour journey by canoe.  This was going through my mind the night that Dennis and I looked at a map with her location.  It would be much easier if she was closer to the bigger lakes, but she wasn’t.  So we do it the hard way.  

Once Daisy and I were in the canoe with our gear, we said our goodbyes to John and agreed on a timetable for our pickup.  After moving far enough away that the prop wash wouldn’t be too much, I gave a wave and Daisy barked once.  The pilot increased the throttle and taxied a bit before pushing it to the hilt.  The plane quickly picked up speed and lifted off, disappearing in the growing purple sunrise.  The last sounds of the engine faded away as Daisy and I sat in the canoe.  It felt very lonely with the sound of a faint breeze whispering through the pine trees and the water lapping against our canoe.  Daisy looked at me and gave a small whine.  I felt the same way.

3.

The Trek

After looking at the map once more, we began our journey.  Making good time we moved through the first three portages without any delays.  My hangover and lack of sleep were mostly gone and it felt good to be on the move once again.  As we approached the shore, Daisy would jump out of the canoe, splash around maybe swim a bit, then race down the portage trail.  She would then come back and bark impatiently for me to hurry up and follow.  It always made me smile when she would do this.

At each portage there is a rhythm and method to get across each trail quickly and with the least effort.  The canoe is carried inverted resting on your shoulders.  All canoes have struts that keep the shape of the craft intact.  On those struts are two pads shoulder width apart.

By taking the canoe and resting it on your hip, you can then flip the craft over your head and onto your shoulders.  We use lightweight Kevlar canoes, which flip quite easily.  Once the canoe is in position, walking is quite easy.  The key to crossing portages is to reduce the time carrying the packs and canoes.  A brisk walk with the right amount of weight is the best.  Some beginners take too much stuff and collapse somewhere along even the shortest portages.  I’ve seen many a client looking like a squashed turtle who either can’t get up due to exhaustion or too much weight.  As we have 4 packs, I leave two at the trailhead and make the initial journey with a pack and the canoe.  Daisy completes both trips leading the way thrilled to be outside and near water.

After about 16 hours of traveling, we were both pretty tired.  Most of the portages were behind us with only two remaining.  However, we had a series of smaller lakes where we would paddle through narrow pathways of lush vegetation.  This type of traveling is pretty but quite slow.  The lake vegetation most often comes in the form of grasses that grow right in the lake and rise out about 3’.  You can’t see much but the small waterway in front of you and the surrounding grasses.  It was now around 4am and I was having a hard time seeing the openings in the tall long grass to paddle around.  The air was cool but not cold, and it was silent with the exception of the isolated loon call.  If you’ve never heard a loon (The Minnesota State Bird), then you’ve missed one of the cooler things in life.  The call is very different and haunting. The partial moon provided some illumination, but it was dark.  I was hoping to get out of this maze and into open water, but we continued to twist and turn our way through the area.  I say we, but Daisy was snoring gently lying on top of one of the larger packs sound asleep.

Around 5am, we had one more portage and then we were on the lake where the lady was camped.  I hoped she was in good shape and not too freaked out.  You can get very afraid isolated in the wilderness alone, wet, cold and hungry.  My hope was that she was sleeping and would not be alarmed at our entrance.  

4.

The Nymphs

At the start of the final portage, I gently woke Daisy and softly eased the canoe into a sandy beach landing.  With portages, a sandy landing is good, but a muddy one is bad.  With sand it’s usually firm and stable, but with mud, you sink and it’s difficult to move around as the suction keeps your feet and legs stationary.  This portage was sandy, and as tired as I was it was still hard moving around.  Daisy nimbly leapt out of the canoe and sniffed the ground at the water’s edge.  With the dark, she was a bit timid and hung back with me while I unloaded the gear and put on the first pack.  I told her that she’s the best dog ever and not to be afraid.  She understood and wagged her tail in response.  

Another thing that I should mention is that as a guide and you’re on the trail, your feet are always wet.  When we reach any shore, it’s important not to beach the canoes but stop them short of land.  Canoes are sometimes damaged if they hit a rocky shoreline, and I’ve had a few mishaps over the years. To avoid this, we stop the canoe short of the shore and then hop out into the water.

I started the first trip across the portage with a headlamp shining a short distance ahead of me.  Although most of the light illuminated the inside of the inverted canoe, I could still see the path and a bit of the surrounding vegetation.  What’s interesting is that the material of the lightweight canoe is somewhat translucent.  Light shines through the light orange material producing a soft orange glow.  The glow would illuminate the surrounding forest in a very cool way.  I continued my quick walk while watching my footing and the orange glow of the surrounding trees when Daisy started barking.  Not a mean bark, but a playful happy bark.  I stopped and lifted the front of the canoe up a bit to see.  At first I saw nothing, but then noticed two shapes.  Small shapes moving fast from my right to left across the portage.  It was frightening at first as there are bears in this area and they are nocturnal.  But these things were small. Nymphs.  I thought of the word before I thought of the creature.  They looked small and lithe with a soft white glow to them.  They looked playful in their dance, and Daisy rushed to them with a happy sounding whine.  When she got to them, it looked like they embraced her and rubbed her ears.  What was surreal was that I was bathed in the soft orange glow of the headlamp shining through the Kevlar canoe, and Daisy was illuminated by the soft white glow.  The rest of our surroundings were pitch black.  This fact registered quite firmly in my mind at the time.

I found myself smiling and laughing at the scene, but then my brain kind of slammed shut. My mind initially accepted what I was seeing, but after a couple of seconds I kind of freaked.  What am I seeing?  Of all my time in the woods, I had never seen anything like this.  I stammered and watched some more, but remained confused and mute.  What I did notice was the feeling of euphoria that flowed through me. I should’ve been scared silly.  But I wasn’t.  I felt really pretty good given that I hadn’t slept in a long time and had the fatigue of non-stop traveling.

After a few more seconds, the happy dog and the two nymphs descended down the trail while giving off that soft white glow that illuminated the vegetation.  After a bit, Daisy’s barking and the light faded away.  Worried about Daisy, I then began to slowly move forward.  The euphoric feeling began to dissipate and I continued to trot down the trail calling for her.  After a few worrisome moments, she reappeared from the dark and jumped up on me happily wagging her tail and making squeaky sounds.  She was elated and very jacked up.  I, on the other hand was trying to hold the canoe upright and not fall down.  I assured her I understand her glee, but I need to get this canoe off my shoulders.

We reached the end of the portage and both peered out on the dark lake looking for the beings.  The darkness was peeled back by the faintest of a purple hue to the lake and sky.  A loon warbled its cry and the lake again went silent.  While looking for footprints I noticed some of the bioluminescence that remained in the shape of their footprints.  Daisy sniffed the print and wagged her tail softly. I wasn’t sure what to think.  I felt pretty confused, and mentioned this to Daisy who also continued to sniff the ground and occasionally look around the lake and the trail. 

Did I really experience what I saw? Why did I feel that awesome euphoria?  What caused that?  I didn’t have any answers and after a minute or two of quiet contemplation, I went back for the remainder of the gear.  Maybe I’ll see them on the trail again I thought, but saw nothing.  Daisy came with me but showed no signs of seeing anything either.  After completing the return trip I got the gear loaded and waded out to the back of the canoe, I stopped and took one last look around.  Odd, very odd was what went through my mind as Daisy hopped in and we silently paddled away from the portage and onto the lake where we would find the lady.

5.

The Lady

With the sky turning from black to a lighter shade of blue we paddled the remaining distance to the lady’s campsite.  As we paddled along I continued to look for the Nymphs, but failed to see any sign.  I looked to where the lady was supposed to  be located.  What if she were in bad shape?    It always worried me that I would arrive and the area would be vacant.  I would go looking around the vicinity, but what if no one was around?  I really hoped that wasn’t the case, but the thought continued to roll around.   On the other hand Daisy was acting very odd.  She was standing up on the front seat of the canoe looking forward with a very focused attitude.  Gone was the curious gaze and occasional sniff of the air while lazing on top of one of the bigger packs.   Now she was standing leaning out over the front of the canoe looking like one of those Viking dragons that  adorned the front of their ships. Now, I understand I love this dog and she’s very perceptive and smart, but she really doesn’t know that there’s a woman who needs help ahead.  So what’s with this behavior, especially after the bizarre type things we saw or thought we saw in the woods just an hour ago.  Still not sure what that was all about.  I’m telling myself now that I’m sleep deprived and the odd lighting in the woods is a direct result of my imagination. But I’m pretty sure I saw what I saw.

We reach the campsite where the lady is supposed to be located.  I’ve stayed at this very same location many times and know it well.  I’ve had some of my best camps here and remember all the good times when I swing the canoe toward the shore.  Daisy is still standing ramrod straight and is now whining and starting to wiggle around like she’s expecting a treat or seeing me after a long absence.  I’m curious what’s causing this behavior, but I’m straining my eyes to look for signs that the lady is here.  The campsite is on an island and located a bit back from the shore into the trees.  It has an area for a fire with rocks built up about waist height behind the main fire pit to block the wind.  From my vantage point about fifty yards from shore I can see a fire burning in the fire pit, but not much else.  That’s good.  There’s someone here and they have enough energy to build and maintain a fire.   With that thought Daisy launches off the front of the canoe into the water and is swimming as fast as she can toward the shore and the camp.  I yell to her but not sure what I’m yelling about as she’s on her way.  I paddle towards her but she makes land before I do and climbs out of the lake and disappears into the semi-darkness of the camp. As I’m paddling around the small rock peninsula to the campsite I can hear Daisy happily barking and making general happy sounds.  This is not what I expected.

As I stop the canoe just short of the bedrock of the island I’m looking into the camp to find the lady I’m supposed to help.  What I see is Daisy wiggling around and a woman who is wearing a white cotton shirt and a pair of light brown functional looking pants.  Her hair is somewhat gray but mostly blonde and she’s smiling and petting Daisy.  I take a quick look over the side of the canoe to ensure it’s not too deep and I’m going to either sink or fall around getting out of the canoe.  I step out and walk to the front of the canoe with a confused look on my face.  I grab the front of the canoe and pull it onshore to keep it from floating away. I’ve got our gear still in the canoe so I only need to pull the craft far enough so it won’t drift.  Once I get this done, I walk into the camp and witness one of the more weird things I’ve been exposed to.  I’m expecting a sick scared woman who is needing everything from medical attention to food and shelter.  What I’m seeing is nothing like that.

The woman is totally at home and in her element.  Her expression while petting Daisy is one of confidence and happiness.  She radiates confidence and positive energy that I can feel as I walk toward her.  She is dry and her camp looks in very good order.  As I walk towards her she see’s me approaching and pats Daisy once and says “Hello Brian, so good to see you again”.  Looking more confused as I get closer I also say hello and maintain a distance.  Her smile is very bright and I get a very good feeling when I look into her eyes.  I notice that right away. She is older than me by about 20 or so years and is in very good shape.  I notice the shirt, pants and shoes and they all indicate that she’s an experienced traveler.  Most people when they dress to travel into the Canadian Wilderness dress right off the rack and resemble a new bird watcher.  Her clothes are worn and are way more functional than a person who is not adept at surviving out in the wilderness.  She even has footwear that’s made for traveling in a wet environment but has lots of support.  Many of the guides wear similar clothing and footwear.

I kind of stammer and then say what’s on my mind.  How do you know my name?  She smiles again and says she knew I would come.  She says this with the idea that I’m clueless for asking such and obvious question.  I then indicate that I was told a woman was in dire need of a guide and that she was stranded, lost, hungry and cold, and was in an overall desperate situation.  I didn’t expect to see someone like herself.  She gave a gentle laugh and put her hand on my shoulder. “I know Brian, I’m sorry for misleading you, but it was important that we spend time together, as we’ve got lots to discuss” she said in a very happy and positive tone.   I open my mouth and nothing comes out.  I turn and look at her tent and the overall condition of the camp.  It’s a camp of someone who is organized and efficient.  She sees me looking at her stuff and says I’m just in time for breakfast and what would I like.  Two thoughts hit me right away.  The first is that something’s amiss here, and the second is that Dennis is going to be really pissed.

This crazy woman has duped me, and I’m now alone with her far from anyone.  It’s kind of unsettling really being this far from any type of civilization.  I mean, she’s a smaller woman and very non-threatening, but still it’s unsettling.  The average person is only a phone call away from either the police or some type of assistance.  Out here it’s different as you’re really on your own and there’s no help coming if you have something go wrong.  And now that I’m here all sorts of stuff is wrong.  This lady doesn’t need help.  She doesn’t need a guide or anything that a guide can offer.  I don’t know this now, but I’m thinking she can read a map and travel with ease.  So why did she call for a guide and especially me?

While these thoughts roar through my head I continue unloading the canoe.   I pull the first pack out of the canoe while pointedly looking her way and ask why she requested a guide.  She smiles at me and tells me all things will be clear after a bit of breakfast.  These words don’t comfort me.   I continue to unload the canoe and wonder why Daisy is so happy.  The dog looks thrilled to be here with this woman as evidenced by her whimpering and furious tail wagging.  Meanwhile I notice I’m pretty tired from 36 hours of paddling and portaging.  I grab the last pack and wade out of the water to the camp.  Dropping the pack I feel really disorientated and mentally fogged.  I’m not sure what’s going on here.  I anticipated a woman who needed my help and was somewhat jacked up to deal with the object of my journey.  What I’ve found is something very different.  This person does not need my help, but want’s to have a conversation.  I really do not need this.  I really don’t.

Somewhat resigned to the fact that I’ve been duped and am now an object of ridicule I plop down next to the fire that’s burning quite nicely and ask if she’s got a cup of coffee.  My expression is one of fatigue and disgusted.  My plan is to eat breakfast, sleep for a bit and head out.  I estimate it will take me another 36 hours of paddling and portaging to return to the lake where I was dropped off.  There’s no way I’m doing this straight through as I did to get here.  I felt speed was necessary to help this woman.  Now that I’m returning to deliver the bad news, I’m taking my time.

Dennis is not going to be happy when I tell him what’s going on.  It’s not my idea that this lady called for a guide and didn’t need one.  So I’m pretty sure I’m clear on this point.  Yet Dennis has a nasty temper and can be somewhat aggressive when a perceived wrong has been committed regarding his outfitting company.  So I’m not looking forward to explaining what I’ve come across.  Combined with fatigue and frustration this thought brings me even deeper into my fugue.  

I look over and ask her name.  Jean, she tells me with smiling eyes.  Leaning toward me, she hands me a hot cup of coffee and ask what I would like for breakfast.  Whatever you’ve got is fine with me I say somewhat smartass like.  She continues to lean forward with the smiling eyes and tells me that we’re friends from some time back. I taste the coffee and it’s really good.  There’s the right amount of cream and sugar already mixed in.  How she knew that I liked it that way doesn’t elude me.  Maybe because I’ve been on the trail for some time, or maybe this is the best cup of coffee I’ve had maybe ever.  I can’t tell, but I continue to sip the hot liquid and it feels very good.  So we’ve been friends for a long time I say.  Yep.  Long time she says right back.  I look around at the brightening dawn and notice how pretty this spot is.  The sun is bathing the trees on the other side of the lake.  This area has a hill that’s called Gardener’s Mountain.  It has a nice blueberry patch on the top of the hill that I’ve climbed before.  I look over at this area and ask her to clarify how she thinks were good friends, when I’ve only met her.  

With a calm demeanor she sits next to me with her own coffee and asks If I’ve dreamed of her before.  Not in the wishful sense, but actual dreams.  I’m about to say no, I’ve not dreamed of her, but an image comes to mind.  A dream where I relate her to a time around the mid-20^th century comes to mind.  It’s foggy, but it’s there.  I don’t know if this is something I’ve manufactured due to my fatigue, but it’s there.  I really don’t want to enable her erratic behavior, but I mention that I might have a dream of someone who resembles her.  She then sighs and repositions herself so she is looking right into my eyes.  Her calm energy is washing over me and it’s nice.  She then tells me she’s going to be direct with me.  Sure I say knowing that she’s nutty and I want to leave. She breaks her gaze from me and looks at the pretty sunrise on the hill across the lake.  Do you believe in reincarnation Brian?  Maybe I say warily.  Do you believe that you had other lives before this one?  Maybe I say again.  And if so are there other people in those lives who may be here in this life.  I don’t like the direction of this conversation as we’re getting out there, but I say yes, as I believe this and still do.  Okay she says and moves toward one of the packs to begin making breakfast.  She looks at me again and laughs like she has some inside joke.   Starts mixing pancake mix, with another look and another smile.  I feel like there’s a joke here but I’m not getting it.  In fact, I’m not getting any of this.  Daisy on the other hand is enjoying all things that Jean does.  She’s now sitting next to the woman slowly thumping her tail in the pine needles with what looks to be a big dog smile.  

Breakfast was great, with pancakes, bacon, and two additional cups of killer coffee.  I kind of forgot to be surly after this breakfast.  Cooking in the outdoors can be tricky.  I’ve never been a good cook, but can put together stuff for people to eat.  This was like something made at a very nice restaurant complete with the presentation thing going and everything.  Feeling full and content I find myself drifting off to sleep as I sit on the ground.  I find this a little odd as I’ve just consumed three cups of coffee, but I’ve also been up for a long time.  Jean also made Daisy the same breakfast without the coffee, which Daisy wolfed down in record time.  I volunteer to do the dishes but Jean nicely tells me to relax, that I’ve had a long journey and am now the guest.  Okay I respond and sit back against a tree.  Daisy sits next to me with her head on my lap and closes her eyes.  I look at Jean as she washes dishes in a tub down by the lake and wonder what’s going on here for the 12^th time this day.  I also find my eyes closing as I listen to the light breeze flow through the pine trees.  It’s a nice sound and I’m soon asleep.

I slowly awake like a person rising from a great depth.  I initially hear the sound of tent fabric slowly blowing in the wind and the lake quietly lapping on the shore.  I feel comforted with these familiar mental images.  As I continue to rise out of the warm cocoon of sleep other sounds wash over me.  The sound of the pine trees swaying in the gentle breeze and some type of bird tweeting nearby.  I open my eyes to see it’s dark.  I also see Daisy sleeping snuggled into me covered with a warm sleeping bag.  Actually we both have a warm sleeping bag over us.  It’s nice here and I don’t want to wake up.  But the thought of what’s transpired over the past day or so seeps into my brain and I sit up.  Looking around with sleepy eyes I notice the camp is mostly dark with a small headlamp out by the water like a beacon.  I slide the sleeping bag off of me and pull Daisy’s closer to her.  She rolls over with a huff and continues to snore her happy dog sleep.

Walking out to the water I find Jean sitting with a cup of what looks to be tea reading a book.  The light from her headlamp is aimed at her book and her eyes remain on the page as she asks me if I had a nice sleep.  When she turns her head to look at me I notice she does not shine the headlamp into my eyes.  The fact that she doesn’t look at my face and automatically shine the light into my eyes speaks volumes.  Most clients I’ve taken into the wilderness will shine the light directly into your eyes to speak with you.  They’re not being rude, they just don’t know better as they’re not used to having a light on their forehead.  With headlamps these days being exceptionally bright, it’s really annoying to have bright lights shone in your eyes.  That Jean doesn’t do this suggests that she’s used to having headlamps in dark environments outside.  She’s used to being outside in the dark without electricity.  

I reflect on her question as I sit down next to her.  I did sleep well, maybe too well actually.  I missed the entire day sleeping, and not just a nap but a full 14 hours or so. Weird.  I mention this to her and she smiles.  You’ve been traveling a long way and after being out the night before, you needed to catch up on your sleep.  Yea I mention in a sleepy way and stretch my arms way over my head and it feels very nice.  Wait; how did you know that I was out the night before I left?  I can see that she smiles in the light of the headlamp and says ask yourself Brian how I know that.  The only thing that comes to mind is that Dennis told her.  But he didn’t; did he?  Again that nice smile illuminates under the headlamp.

No Brian, Dennis didn’t tell me.  And let me start by saying I’m sorry to mislead you and bring you out here.  I understand you feel that a wrong has been committed here.  I understand and apologize for that.  But it’s important that you and I have time together in a quiet place where can reflect on things.  I also understand how you aren’t too sure of me and maybe even feel uneasy being in my company.  I agree that I do feel used and stupid and not all that comfortable being here with her.  With that she clicks off her headlamp and I notice the moon is rising over the top of Gardner’s Mountain across the lake.  A feeling of calm overcomes me as the cool breeze caresses my face.  The moonlight is becoming brighter as the glowing orb silently rises.  We are both bathed in moonlight as she asks me if I’ve met her friends.  No I say.  Who are your friends?  You met them at the end of your last portage.  The nymph guys I say?  Yes she says with a contented feel.  They ensured you made it to me without mishap.  Traveling during the nighttime hours can be dangerous she says.  They were with you when you drunkenly disembarked from your work vehicle two days prior.  These entities are angels, my angels who came with me on this journey to help you. They are beings of light, protecting both of us here.  I ask more about the angels or nymphs and she compares them to Daisy.  A being who loves and protects me.  I get this in a big way.

Okay I say, why are you here and why did you want me.  I’m not angry but would like to know what’s going on.  She turns to face me and with her face illuminated by the rising moon and unfolds her story.

I’m going to be direct with you Brian.  What I’m going to tell you is the truth and it’s not fantasy or a dream.  It’s real and I’m here to help you through a time in your life that won’t be pleasant.  She looks up at the moon and lets me know that I’m young, but in the not to distant future I’m going to marry my girlfriend and have a son and soon after that, a daughter.  Both children will be heaven’s gift as they will both be angels incarnate.  Your son however will only be with you for a short time in this lifetime.  His time on earth will be short by design and will accomplish much in the time he’s here.  However, when he leaves, you will feel one of the most crushing tragedies known.  To lose a child is to lose part of one’s soul.  This loss can be all consuming, and when this happens you cannot let this affect the path of your journey.  You are destined to do many things in this incarnation.  I am here to alert you to your fate and to help with the event as it occurs.  I will be there with you when you do lose your son and I will be with you through your journey afterward.  Do you understand this?  I want to say no I don’t, but I do.  I don’t want to face this reality in my future.  I don’t want to lose my son and I most definitely don’t think this will happen.  I’m past thinking Jean is nutty, but I don’t want to believe this even will happen.  Not that I don’t think it will, but it sounds so awful that I don’t want to face the possibility.  What if you’re wrong?  What if this doesn’t happen and you’re scaring me now I ask.  I assure you Brian that I’m not here to scare you or make you feel bad in any way.  I love you and want to help you.   Is that true?  Are you here to help me?  I feel very vulnerable and scared right now.  I don’t want to hear this and I don’t want to think of this.  My thought is to get Daisy and leave to head back to somewhere.  I don’t know where but I want to leave.  

I know this is upsetting for you now, but it will help you when the time comes.  I’m here not to scare you, but to help you.  When we arrive at the floatplane in the next few days you won’t remember this conversation.  What you will remember is a woman who was distraught and needed a guide.  You did your job and she is now safe and you will feel good about that.  You won’t remember this conversation or the fact that your son will leave you before you’re ready.  He is a gift of the light and will be reunited in the future with him after this life and at times during this life.  You are not alone in this venture Brian, as you have many people who are here to lean on when your son goes home.  You must understand that you too will go home and see him once again when your time on this earth is over.  But before that time, you will have a wife and a lovely daughter who will also be affected by this great loss.  It’s important that you remain strong for them and help them deal with their grief.  That is why I’m here.  I’m imprinting upon you the seriousness of this event and it’s effect on all of you.  You will be stronger after our visit to deal with this.  For now, there is nothing you can do to alter your fate and the fate of those around you.  It was decided before your birth of the events to come. That fact does not seem logical to you now, but it is part of your future.  The unfolding events are preordained by a higher consciousness.   It will all be clear when your time comes and you move from this world to the next.

She says this with such sincerity and force that I’m silent and not sure what to think.  My need to run has passed and I’m trying to process what I’ve heard.  This sounds bad. This sounds hard.  Why does it have to progress to this terrible event.  There must be something I can do to stop this bad thing about to happen.  Jean reads my mind and reaffirms that it’s my fate.  The only thing I can change is my reaction to the event itself.  I need to be strong for those around me and help them get through the awfulness of losing ones child and sibling.  I get up and tell her I need to think a bit if that’s okay.  She reaches for my hand as I move away and I place mine in hers and stop.  Can’t you do anything to change this or stop this?  She answers with the nice smile and a tighter squeeze on my hand.  She then gets up and hugs me.  Her hair has the fragrance of the outdoors and he grasp is all encompassing.  I sense something is transpiring between us and I remain in her embrace.  We stay that way for a bit and then she pulls back and looks into my eyes.  In the end, you will be stronger.  You will not be alone and you will be loved.  In my periphery I notice the nymphs or whatever you want to call them standing about 15 yards behind us.  Daisy is also with them and they’re in a line watching us in silence.  They raise their arms and smile.  Daisy gives off a small whine noise and comes to me leaning her head on my leg.

I pat Daisy on the head and hold her there for a second.  I then release both Jean and Daisy and walk into the dark woods to think some more.  With a quick glance at Jean and the Nymphs Daisy turns and silently pads onto the forest after me.

6.

The Float Plane

With the sun high in the sky, we hear the low drone of the engine from the south before it flashed low over the trees.  We were on the same lake that he dropped us off.  It was John, flying the same plane and I was not happy to see him.  I didn’t want to get on the plane and return to my prior existence.  I didn’t want this journey to unravel and lose all that I knew.  I said so to Jean and she reminded me that I would not lose what I had learned.  The information would remain imprinted on my soul, but not to be remembered consciously.  It was time to continue with my life’s course, as hard as that may be.  Looking into the clear water I nodded my head and said okay.  I continued to peer into the unknown depths for what seemed like a long time and then looked at Jean.  She was turned around in the canoe and looking at me with concern.  Remember you will always have me close by with others who love you.  Almost as an afterthought I noticed the plane roared past us, landing on the lake with the engine winding down and the pontoons surfing the smooth water surface.  I watched the plane slow and begin it’s slow turn towards my uncertain future.

We left the camp in the morning hours two days ago to vivid sunrise which painted the hillside and lake surface golden.  We spoke long into the night on the destiny of our soul and how the idea of heaven works. I found her company wonderful and hung on every word.  We shared ideas throughout the return journey which included discussing the universe while portaging the gear.  The nymphs followed us through the lakes and portages.  I only saw them on the trails, and didn’t know how they traveled over water. When I asked Jean about this question she mentioned I would know more when it was my time to transition from this world to the next.  I shook my head okay, but I wanted more.

Just about the time when we paddled out to the middle of the lake where our pickup was to take place, John landed the plane just past us.  It was nice that he landed past our position.  If he set the pontoons down before passing our location, we might have swamped.  But he didn’t and we watched him slow his speed and turn the craft around to pick us up.

While the pilot was turing around, Jean looked at me again and gave me the final pep talk to help with the rest of my life.

Okay Brian remember, you will forget our conversation and the reality of our visit when the pilot opens the door of the plane.  But I shall always love you and thank you for helping me when you thought I needed help. This caring and healing nature you possess will take you far.  I thank you for this gift you graced upon me these past few days.  Thanks Jean I say, and thanks for everything.  I’m dreading when John opens the door to the plane, for that’s the time when I will remember a different reality.  I will remember that I rescued a woman who needed help and needed a guide.  

But that’s not what happened now was it.  Was it?  I’m not thinking straight, but I look Jean in the eyes and tell her thank you from the bottom of my heart.  Thank you for helping me and being with me through the times ahead.  Thank you for everything.  And before I can say anymore the plane moves next to us and the engines are shifted into neutral.  I notice the plane looks different and so does my client for that matter.  I’m having a déjà vu here and it’s a big one.  I look at my passenger and take a mental inventory.  She looks okay but something’s amiss.  The pilot is unfastening his seat belt and moving to open the door and I take one more look at my passenger. I have this feeling like she resembles a friend that I’ve got.  I look back at the plane and the pilot opens the door with a big smile and yells out a big hello.  Hope you’re all right and glad to see Brian found you ma’am.  I smile and say hello also.  We’re good I yell back and tell him the lady is in good shape after a scary time.  I start giving the lady directions on how to exit the canoe and to be careful she doesn’t slip off the pontoon as they can be slick after landing.  She meekly says yes thank you and moves out of the canoe to the plane.  I help her and ensure that she’s buckled up and secure.  I then go back to the canoe and throw packs to the pilot.  When the packs are loaded I give Daisy the command to jump up into the plane.  She barks once and jumps up into the lady’s lap.  Go easy Daisy I tell her through the door. I then step onto the pontoon and lift the canoe into position with the pilot helping secure the craft.  I give one more inspection of the ropes and tell the pilot we’re good to go.  I jump into the right hand seat and put my headset on and tell the pilot that we’re all accounted for and in good shape.  We take off and I go through my mental checklist of what to do when we land.  I’ve got to inform Dennis of the lady’s condition and my treatment to help her out.  I review the trip and the treatments to ensure the client was taken care of and I didn’t miss anything.  I go through the steps and I find that I’ve done a good job finding, securing, treating, and returning the lady to safety.  With the checklist complete I talk to the lady in the headset as to what we’ll find when we return and how the Sheriff will take her to a hotel and then to where she needs to go.  She thanks me and we continue the flight to the landing.

7.

Hello Again

About four years after that summer  I no longer worked as a Guide, but as a professional Ski Patrolman in the mountains of Colorado.  I was enjoying the job.  It was a nice transition where I was once going to work on the lakes and forests of the Canadian Wilderness, I was now in the mountains of Colorado.  I planned on attending graduate school after college, but thought to take a break from continuous schooling. 

A friend of mine told me about the patrolman job and suggested I move out to the mountains.  I did, and it was working out well.  As I couldn’t ski very well when I first arrived, so I worked as a lift operator and volunteered with the Ski Patrol.  I also took private ski lessons and worked hard on my skiing technique.  I also learned about avalanche, snow science and during the summer months obtained my EMT or Emergency Medical Technician Certification.  By the time I worked through the year, I was ready for the test to be a Patrolman.  I knew the guys who ran the Patrol  and they knew me through my volunteer work.  I skied well enough during the test to pass and become a professional patrolman.  I was moderately surprised that they hired me, but I think it was my personality rather than my skiing ability.  However, as the year went on and I was on my skis over 100 days I grew to be a very strong skier.

One day when I was out retrieving a ski pole dropped from a chairlift, my radio crackled to life with instructions to help and injured skier. I acknowledge the request and skied out of the lift line through the woods finding a nice stretch of powder snow along the way before arriving at a location where I could grab a sled.  The sleds we used were sort of a hybrid toboggan with steering rails that allowed you to ski in front of while transporting an injured skier.  It took a lot of training and practice until you were comfortable taking another person’s life in your hands while sliding down a mountain.  But I was past training and now a seasoned patroller.  

By the way, Daisy also moved with me to the mountains, but she stays at the house until I return from work.  We then go on walks around the mountains when I return.  I know she still loves me.  I’m not sure she likes the sitting at home part, but she’s now older and sleeps much of the day before I return.

Before I arrived at the assigned location I looked downhill and saw the woman who needed help.  It was called in as a knee injury.  At first glance I thought I knew her, but after a bit I wasn’t so sure.  Clicking out of my skis I walk to her and introduce myself.  With a very direct gaze that made me a bit uncomfortable, she said her knee hurt and thanked me for helping her.  No problem I said, and then explained the process of getting her treated and off the mountain. She again thanked me while touching my arm.  As soon as we made contact I noticed a very warm sensation moving up my arm and washing over me.  This feeling was very nice and we remained motionless for a  few seconds.  Nothing was said between us, but our locked eyes didn’t waver. I was the first to break contact even though I didn’t want to do so.  Awkwardly I moved to the sled and began unbuckling straps.  I looked up and asked what her name is.  With smiling eyes, she quietly whispers something that I couldn’t hear as I’m making noise with the straps and sled.  I stand up and look into her eyes once more.  She then says, Jean.  My name is Jean and I’m glad you’re here to help me. 

Author's Note

Any constructive thoughts or comments are welcome. Thanks for the time.