Place finder

About the pursuit of somewhere to stay for an turn and get back and the rise again.

Place finder

Scrubbing dirty egg pans suboptimally to make it look like I was finishing my task, I had a hidden agenda that the others were unaware of. It was quite simple really, I had my associate, let's call him N, show up just a little earlier to pick me up and I told the relief server that my hotel clock-out time was 07:30 and if I didn't do it in time it would be a one hundred dollar charge to my card, so naturally she understood why I needed to go early. After she was made aware of the situation I went back to “finishing” the dish pit. I did most of the revolting gag-inducing clean-up work. I assure you I'm not a bad worker, the managers have actually spoken about how valued I am as a worker there but I'm suspecting that's up for debate recent you see the last 3 times I've been called upon like a final solution in order to take down the whole army I've been defective. I failed to fulfill my duties as a vagabond worker. And on top of that, I didn't�" accomplish anything outside of learning. I don't like horrible experiences. Anyway, as my associate's suv swerved into the lot like its being driven by a kangaroo given cocaine, the server stood up in haste grabbing her book, I stopped her as fast as I could of course I didn't want her to get to invest since the shear let down that is going be coming her way in a few short minutes. I had to Switch money around in the drawers because there was tremendous and a lack of change and it needed to be handled. Once the mind-bending math task was finished I hopped into a vehicle that has not only seen the era of new beginnings but the heartfelt ends as well. We left at around 06:28, this was a good start to the day.

N being the brainsick underdone driver he is, we arrived at 06:49, only took us 21 minutes to go on a 30 min ride which is actually quite impressive. Snaps to N. I get ready to go clear out the room I called mine for a whole week. Something I've never been able to experience in any format before this. And I turn to him asking why isn't he coming and he expects me not to be too long but he soon finds I will use every single passing second of my 392 American dollars.
As I march up the sets I already feel my chest getting heavier with dread, realizing that this time period is coming to an end and I cannot even attempt to get another room. But of course, I'm going to do my best to enjoy the end of this room. I began by setting up my phone as a camera and I started picking up my clothes and packing while talking to it. I was recalling the emotional steps made and taken. Debating if it was worth it, if any of it was worth it and actually paid off or if was it all just a siren's call into more despair. I started to play music with my phone connected to a small boom box like a speaker after N came in from waiting. He went to lay on the guest bed as I finished up making 201 the best tenant-left room there ever was. Firstly I made sure all of my items were removed from the corresponding areas, like the dresser the dresser then started with hosting my knee-slit jeans about finished with me gently grasping silk suit pants and placing them in my luggage. Once the dresser was fully cleaned out I turned and worked on the dest, having doubts about my life beyond the wall of 201 but I needed to be strong and respond with dignity and action. The pain in life will never cease to exist, it will only grow and it grows like an absolute rage-induced seed implanted in the world's best incubator.
I try my best and be positive. But seemingly with each power creep of negativity, the situations get worse and deeper and I would have to get more and more positive! Being positive ina world that is so hurtfuel esspeispily dircectly to me is difficult. I feel so lost all the time,

Allow me to - change the pacing and style a little. This article frist started being writen my me, on June 15th of 2023. Ive began writing it for many diffrent reasonss but ive mainly startedc writting ti becuase i want to speak up. I want to change the world for those who think there is nothing out there and this is seemingly the best, perhaps fastest way to it for me.

I have been staying with my assosiste,N, for a few days, but im still clean. Im a Matrix, the only family in the world that is truly one. Me and N go all the back to fighting academic wars in the prickly halls of hgh shcool. Hes quite the fellow, its hard to pinpoitn what N’s intentions are not only as a, human on this earth but also from a day to day simplar way. Once N left offically, i was finnished with my shower and all packed. I shot a couple simple videos, the coutless selfies right here in front of the 201 mirror. I leave some purple flowers on thop of the wall mirros, a good omen for the next couple who stays there for those were givited to me from someone I met at pride but metagain yea?. I went back to get the last of my things and of course take a look around and state. “In a bleak midwinter”. That is the same sort of ritual I did when we lost our old aparment, me and my ex fince but thats a story for another time my friends.

The Time is now around 11:00 Am on June 15, 2023. Im in the pasanger seat looking up cheap hotels we can get for a week. Something N was suppoded to do but i shoudlve expecteed him not to becuase youre right his work ethic is so balls to the wall unbeliviible, yet somehow hes juts become the ast. Manager at someplace, quite the step up from his normal, good on him. I am acually on the step down from my normal and as you know trying to get by with unorxathdx manners. I was having N start the online fronts for me and he syas he started but i dont see to much eveidnce of that. I wot waits anyones time hair we didnt get oen and ended up sleeping in his car behind someplace. N talks about how much they hate the indiana town of greenfiled well I feel the same about, this area of irvintoning. Its just how commown i suppose i see, The next day 16th was spent trying to find soemeone to help me honstely, that was my goal and in classic Matrix fashion I seemsi made things slightly more irriateable. But oh well. Im trying to stay focused durning all this but theres more things building on and on, getting harder to move and easier to close my eyes. That night is spent trying my best to stay awake and be creative. I used to hve words flowing like a fast paced bee hive. Ive worked hard over the years to be able to control my thoguhts better and not have them operate in such a swarming manner but a more observed, opritive manner. Recently tho, as I treat every experice as an experiance, part of lifes big trip, a time to learn at all times.I feel like by ablility to put those leasons into verbal or writen forms of translations from my thoughts as weakned. I never did fall asleep that night
The 17th. Today, the day in time that these words of the past have finnal caughten up with the present. Is it as deep and detailed as i want it to be? I dont belive so, is it as impactful as id wish? Never, but did i finnaly push myself after a night of heavy thoughts an infinte loop ive been trying to break my whole existnace could be broken by this. But we’ll never know. Even if it does there will be another challnge in less then a day awaiting for me. Its currently 5 from one o’clock. And this is all ive done in days. I do not know how to find the intititive to do things. I still have to do work for my schooling as well as set up the rest of the stores online so i can finnaly make a profit and stop waisting money. As of right now im still with my assosite N. This was not the plan at all. We have talked and divised a semi-solid idea. Were going to be getting a hotel for a week once were both paid and then it should be substainable for a little while with the both of us in which we can get something better. My association with N has changed quite a lot within 2023. I was just thinking about how much time you soend with someone doesnt truly matter its how you connect and make each other feel. What you believe in, were your values are held and how theyre shown. One day everyone will understand what we need to do as the human race, not at all ayign i do know but one day we will all wake up and realzingze why weere here. I think im here to document and share the exoerice of the world from my body and mind POV and i finally am.

Author's Note

Go head and tell me what you think? It was a bit rushed at the end I’m a bit of a panicker!