Slow Dream

Empty castle

Fresh-cut stone

Spiders working

The day's alone

 

Suffocating

Disturbed gray air

Not a whisper

'Cause no one's there

 

Wake me

This dream makes me sleepy

And nobody's here

To save me/ kiss me

 

Sitting sounds

Ready to play

Collecting dust

No music today

 

Crow cages empty

A bottle of tears

The bartender's crying

In fear

 

Wake me

These friends only hate me

And nobody here

Would save me/ kiss me

Author's Note

An image.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the ride in this poem. You can tell a story. A very good ending to a excellent poem.
Coyote

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

last stanza...ties brilliant poem together...
amazing :D

[Rikkevi Rue]

Simple concepts outlined in concise stanzas, each a little imaginary morsel, that build to a whole! That basic skill will serve you well in the future as you can build on the sophistication of the concepts and the skillfulness of the articulation. But, these are good solid lines. My fav:

"Crow cages empty
A bottle of tears
The bartender's crying
In fear"

I like the way you present your image.

[dreaming dame]

Sniff. I'll save yu, If I can... But I won't kiss you, that's for sure. Beautiful, it's a heartbroken piece though:(
Not a whisper, 'cause noone's there. Silent pain.