Black Portal

unfinished or satisfactory?

His eyes had been unholy portals

 

To the only place I've never been

 

Dark and delicious black portals

 

To the only world I've never seen

 

Where love, which exists in all mortals

 

Flows strong in its succulent stream

 

Forgiven, he is only mortal

 

And I- a self-proclaimed queen

 

A lonely, longsuffering queen...

Author's Note

this had been unfinnished in an old notebook, until i decided it was good enough as it is. i dont know. Tell me what you think.

Reviews

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

I like it too, love the flow to it!!!

[Alicia Hirshey]

This was a great write. I love how you capture the scene.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good beginning to the poem. Now need a reason for the self-proclaimed queen and the man to find the same path. I like the description and the story so far.
"Dark and delicious black portals"
I like the description and I desire to read more of this tale. A very good poem.
Coyote

[TheElfPrincess]

I love the flow of this, the last sentence is really strong and beautiful. Loved it. Well done.