Black Portal

unfinished or satisfactory?

His eyes had been unholy portals

 

To the only place I've never been

 

Dark and delicious black portals

 

To the only world I've never seen

 

Where love, which exists in all mortals

 

Flows strong in its succulent stream

 

Forgiven, he is only mortal

 

And I- a self-proclaimed queen

 

A lonely, longsuffering queen...

Author's Note

this had been unfinnished in an old notebook, until i decided it was good enough as it is. i dont know. Tell me what you think.

Reviews

[Darien Don]

I just have to say...wow! It was short, but deliciously short. I can describe the feeling this poem gives me, but it did give me chills. This has to be one of my favorite pieces that you have wrote. I love it!

[Larry Dyson]

as is is expressive...

[dreaming dame]

Hmmm, not about him you say? I am pretty sure that he had some influence here. it's wonderfully written, as you have great talent. :)

[DontBlink158]

i think its good enough as it is, and i really enjoyed reading it!! Great job

[Thea]

Nice visualization... :)))

[hopelessromantic]

i like it it shows how relationships fall apart after awhile

[snopadelic]

Its a very visual poen. Interesting.

[.]

a haunting visual..this is great - like a story behind the poem longing to be told..

[Marie Harrison]

I like it just the way it is.
Keeps the mystery.
Forces the reader
to draw their own
conclusions, use
their own imaginations.
Wonderful poem.