Memories and Me- Question 10

asked what I regret?

Let's meditate

for an hour in vanity

before we're killed on the leaves of the jonquil.

My memories are shallow,

shallow as my reflection.

Should I reach and risk

my grasp

in the unwritten prologue

where everything went wrong

-where being began-

can i burn my image

into the mirror?

Though the stars in this house are mine

I am still expected to regret.

And I am fallen at birth

I forget to regret.

Could I change the longevity 

of the mind's absence?

Can I put to death my faults?

Disregard my heroes

for the sake of independence,

or pretense

of self-control?

All along I've needed my heroes and

can one regret a need?

If so

I regret that I need to breathe

and cannot stop and be motionless,

but can one hate memory?

Truly disgraced by tragedies,

darkest seeds of dreams,

causing us to trip on life's

life-shattering panic scenes?

Remember the hail storm

shredding my spine.

I look in the mirror and

the mirror doesn't see me.

I feel myself in two dimensions,

spread out for inspection,

placing each scar with

a bad reason.

These are pearls, and I can't imagine

my arm without them.

We follow that blood-stained rope

back to the night I was purified

in spit,

endless razors falling from a black sky

of a deep

rib-crushing venue.

Granted the satisfaction of death.

And still

with death heavy in the sky

wetting my father's eyes,

reflection is still so shallow

that I cannot regret?

Perhaps, one..

In love with my own suffering

I turn and walk from

real agony,

when I've forgotten

how to hug my father.

Author's Note

Somewhere in the middle of this my grandpa died.

Reviews

[Coffee Vampier]

To regret death or anything is to regret a life it is pointless to meditate on the negative when there can be so much light.