Memoirs of a Nutter: Chapter Three

Chapter 3

Frankie asks Tracey for a pop a sip and then spits it right back out.

Jack raises an eyebrow and nonchalantly asks, “What?”

“Your idea’s flawed!” Frankie yells out as she starts the thought process. “You need a written contract from said decease member to submit their remains!”

“Lemme guess,” says Louie. “Jason the lawyer.”

“Mr. Ironic!” cheers Sammy and her grin returns.

“He wasn’t ‘ironic’!” argues Frankie.

“The dude’s last name was Vorhees!” says Jack. She takes a sip. “Well, we’ll just take Bob’s body to Daren, like Louie suggested.” Louie nods in agreement of her recognition for the best idea.

“Hope he’s in a sociable mood,” says Sammy.

“We’re not putting him in my truck!” yells Tracey.

Louie motions for a drink and says, “We’ll just have to wrap him up really tight in tarps. He’s going in the truck.”

“What?!” asks Tracey. “She’s brand new!”

“She’s almost ten years old!” argues Jack.

“She’s only six,” pointedly argues Frankie. “Give Lucille more credit!”

“Lucille” is the name dubbed upon the six year old Ford F-250 extended cab. Ladies and gentlemen, chicks and dudes, this is Tracey Winchester’s current pride and joy. The truck is a two-tone of a funky color of green/blue with a light grey, dressed up with chrome and CB antennas. A stainless steel toolbox and steel running boards accent he grey just right. Lucille can be considered the icon of Tracey’s business etiquette; unusual to what is the rest of the surroundings, yet neat and efficient.

There I go again! My most sincere apologies, man! I don’t’ mean to irritate anyone!

“The point is: Tracey has a truck,” says Jack. “We need a truck. So, it’s common sense to use Lucy.”

“Okay, Hot Shot, what about the tarps?” asks Tracey. “It’s not like you carry tarps around!”



“True,” says Jack. “But, Frankie does.”

“What?!” exclaims Frankie. “Those are BRAND NEW tarps!”

“Yeh, the last one you had were thrown away because one of them had a hole,” says Jack. “You use them like toilet paper! Heck, if it’s such a big deal to you, I’ll replace them!”

Frankie huffs and says, “Fine, but we’re using THE USED ones. None of the virgin tarp!”

“Why in the world would you carry tarp?” asks Louie.

“Why not? I can keep my baby clean!” say Frankie. She smile her charming “lead you to hell and back” smile.

“It’s settled then,” says Jack. She takes another swig of her root beer. “You’ll have to Daren’s place on the backstreets,” she says as she points to her baby sister, root beer bottle, once again, still in hand. “Lucille is in no way inconspicuous.” She faces Tracey, “Did the word ‘incognito’ ever show up in your vocabulary while fixing her up? I love her, but… it sucks for the situation.” Tracey just grins and lowers her head a bit, in her usual “aw, shucks” mannerism, another trait one of the girls picked up from their father.

“How about some music?” asks Alex.

Tracey nods and goes to her jukebox. (Yes, you read this right. Her jukebox, just like anything else she owns, she made sure she was not in debt.) She punches in an eight digit code twice and punches in various six digit codes for songs. It’s nice having a computer engineer as a sister, Alex.