I really liked this, it's a wonderful tribute and whoever this is about is a very special and lucky person to have a friend like you. Technically there are a few things that need to be brushed up. You begin the poem in the present tense, and then in the third stanza you switch to past. Also in the third stanza the way you word things is really awkward, below is a suggestion on how to smooth that out, but other than that this was lovely. cudos.
The darkness has gathered-------------to---------The darkness gathered
Around one spot----------------------------to---------around one spot
As the sun shines--------------------------to---------As the sun shines
That lifted my heart----------------------to---------My heart lifted
Oh! This is great...
"She flaunts her colors
For many of hours
She is truly a miracle
Her name is Wildfleour"
This is such a wonderful gift to your friend! :)
The imagery is just amazing and even the flow is very appealing and has been well maintained throughout the piece!
I always wanted to write a poem for some of my close friends but I got a new inspiration after reading this..
Really, A great way to show your feel..Awesome :)
This reminds me of a painting I once saw - a flower brightly glowing in the darkness - so resilient, strong, delicate, fragile, and ultimately beautiful. The contrast is what makes it so unique. This woman seems strong and delicate too I bet. One wouldn't think the two could describe one person, but like flowers - women have many petals and most remain unseen...the larger sturdy ones whose color has faded.
Lovely tribute - I'm sure she will adore this - if she has read it - and if not - you should show it to her.
Ralphy, I concur, sometimes people need to be recognized and although I've never had the pleasure of meeting this wonderful woman of many colors, I'm certain that she adored this lovely verse. To lift another's heart, to light the path for another's way... this is one of the endearing joys of life... I read her review, and as she blushed, I smiled in delight...
I wanted to add to my review, but it wouldn't let me. I love the rhyme in this-Nice flow, beautiful imagery.
Annalisa is right about the tense changes. Would probably add to the beauty to make a few simple changes, but otherwise, it is superb. Just dug up some wildflowers yesterday. Hope they grow....***Smiles, Carole
No matter how dark life is, or how clouded, there is always a lighter side to itone that fills you heart with love and your soul with joy
Im a complex person of multiracial background, about 5.. more..