I really liked this, it's a wonderful tribute and whoever this is about is a very special and lucky person to have a friend like you. Technically there are a few things that need to be brushed up. You begin the poem in the present tense, and then in the third stanza you switch to past. Also in the third stanza the way you word things is really awkward, below is a suggestion on how to smooth that out, but other than that this was lovely. cudos.
The darkness has gathered-------------to---------The darkness gathered
Around one spot----------------------------to---------around one spot
As the sun shines--------------------------to---------As the sun shines
That lifted my heart----------------------to---------My heart lifted
I have to admitt I aven't read so much imagery place into a poem.The flower struggling to survive in anew is a take to look on to someone in life.I really like the details of how you took to describe the flower.Whom you are writing to is unknown but I love the poem itself.Great work.
Ralphy, Nice work here, I really enjoyed the imagery concept of moonlight breaking through the trees,
the mystical breeze transporting the heart to places of wonder and achievement, the use of metaphors
have an uplifting effect on the reader, there are a number of ways to ponder the meaning laid before
the reader, the analogy of a wild flower existing in soil fit for majesty seems to give the vision its classic
feeling of enchanted heart inspired by nature- and by admiration embracing the idea of infatuation,
perhaps to the being of being in love, Nice job on the layout as well, written with passionate effort.
Take Care, Mike
This is so great.
I, like many others, admire so much those certain people out there who never stop trying and have what seems to be the greatest amount of integrity known to man. You did a great job of portraying that sort of person. I especially loved your metaphor comparing such a strong person to a wildfleour.
Who ever this was written for must feel very proud.
Beautiful poem.
Sorry i took so long to answer the read request. I haven't been on in forever!
This is a good write. It really shows how the simple pleasures of life can be passed up so easily. If only we would all stop to enjoy the beauty of such a happening! What a difference in our lives would it make. Maybe we would feel renewed hope for a new beginning. Maybe we can find hope to be loved as soon as we accept ourselves and are giving the chance.
beautiful work, brought a smile to my face. You certainly captured the moment clearly. One thing though, it took me minute to realize that you meant to say "petals" of a flower instead of "pedals" as you have it. Just something a little disconcerting ... otherwise a great piece :)
No matter how dark life is, or how clouded, there is always a lighter side to itone that fills you heart with love and your soul with joy
Im a complex person of multiracial background, about 5.. more..