Hunter

Try to remember that my poem is about a 11 year old girl that questions why we allow things to happen...and that the only flaw that nature has it that of a childs ability to question. That has been our gift from day one but we fail to listen, that's why w

 

Hunter

 

 

A warm angelic young girl of the mere age of eleven

Whispered some compassionate words to her mother

Mommy smiles with a grin that stretches across the room

How serene she replied, with a gasping heart cry

I caught a drift of this angelic girl, as she dove deep into my soulful world

Her magic was more than a sheer consequence

It was a gift from above, somewhere, out there, in the mist of it all

 

My name is Hunter and I have no shame

I believe that all the good in the world remains

I embrace the world as I would want done

Giving life to those of less, would be much more fun

Gather the angels from all walks of life

Monumental accomplishments thriving for heights

I understand the beauty of it all

Winter spring summer and fall

 

Her words that grasp the human race

Her heart was pounding when she utter this phrase and embraced

 

Mommy, I want to start a fundraiser, for this man down the alley

You know the one that lives next door, to Sally

Why should he suffer, when there are all kinds of help?

Why can't we all just tighten our belts?

Its only money so why don't we

Have a fundraiser, to set him free 

 

Her compassion delivered to me, the strongest message I'll ever decreed

Wrapped in this tiny package of warmth and trust was this mustard seed

 The only existing flaw in nature, is now uncovered

Given the human child is the only one, who is a true lover

That can question the powers to be and sight a change

Can look you in your eyes and honestly say, that's lame

Their perception of life, is far more resourceful than Jack and Jill

No matter who made them… until

We tell them the catastrophic truth

They are wrong and here's the proof

 

Author's Note

Try to remember that my poem is about a 11 year old girl that questions why we allow things to happen...and that the only flaw that nature has it that of a childs ability to question. That has been our gift from day one but we fail to listen, that's why we have the problems we have."

Reviews

[Lalli]

the message is strong, and i admire it! its good to hear and read poetry with a positive uplift. I love the story, i love how it was written, very profound.. but i ask and just to throw this out there, maybe to profound?.. being the words that are quoted as what was said by hunter. nevertheless!! GREAT POEM MAN!.. you have a talent, and i like to see people experimenting with rhyme.. i prefer it thats how i write, its just so hard to use effectivly.

much love n' respect.. i'll be reading more, and thank you for your review the other day!

-Lalli

[Cherin]

Very nice poem, Ralphy.
I enjoyed it from start to finish.
Keep writing! :-)

[Annalisa]

I really loved the content of the poem but it... didn't read well. There wasn't a consistent flow. Everyone and then one would begin, but then it would stop again and we'd have a few lines or even and entire stanza that was awkward and choppy... So keep the idea, but play around with the formating and words, try to smooth it out some.

[Nely Amorim]

very moving and thoughtful write. I enjoyed it and the truth of it. we all lose our innocence to mistrust and betrayal. Sadly the innocent faith of the young is burned out too soon and much sooner these days. I'm not so sure if it was uplifting as much as it was a lament of the times. excellent write indeed. thanks for sharing.

[Wildfleour]

Perhaps the flaw is that we lose that innocence?

An interesting write, Ralphy, moving from voice to voice.

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

Wow, hearing stories like this about children having such big hearts like Hunter, makes me believe there is hope for this world yet. Wonderful story, Ralphy, very heartfelt.

[Dani California]

Oh Ralphy, this is so beautiful and touching, it brought me to tears. If we lived our lives through the eyes and hearts of children the world would not be in its present condition.

This is magnificently written and really shows your talent.... and your heart. Beautiful.