Confusion

Edited by Annalisa....eye surgery

 

Confusion

 

The morning of the day,

I await for something to cuddle me.

As I lay motionless in the solitude of my own room

I could not help feeling so alone.

Screaming and ringing sounded in the distance

Amplifying as my door opened

 

A milky cloud distorts my views

As they asked me the questions

--Of a personal nature

I felt the sledging,

pulverize my mind

choking my words in my throat

while trying aimlessly to utter a whisper

 

As the cool vital waters drip

Through the branches that finger my existence

My heart calmed to a gentle beat.

 

As the thoughts that once raced

Along the tracks of that vast highway

Broke the boundary and escaped

 

 

So many people around me

The confusion grappled my reality

As I ponder misery

What did I do wrong?

 

Can a single blade of grass

Conceal the lawn

Without the soil to affix its roots

 

Can a drop of pure water

Bathe an ocean and turn it blue

Without the aid of a twinkle in the sky

 

Can a single grain of sand

Fill a beach so that others

Can bask in the fruits of comfort

 

Can a single ray of sun light

Warm your soul

Without the radiance of something to hold

  

The answer is no

But without them

There is no tomorrow.

Suddenly, I can see

Perfectly clear

Reviews

[Michael X]

now thats one grand metaphorically enhanced work of heart to ponder, excellent choice of wording
ralphy, the analogies are written to height and draw the reader to dwell in the context, many favorite lines that express an over all timeless wisdom, like
"Can a single grain of sand
Fill a beach so that others
Can bask in the fruits of comfort"
such sentiments take hold of one's thoughts, to search for answers, and yet one seems to answer them all,
and that being found in the last stanza, its touching in the way the expression shows the reader new
perspectives, leaves a feeling of an added sense of knowledge, the meaning, what brings clarity into light,
as in self awareness, descriptively enhanced, an excellent read to edify the soul and mind.

[TL Boehm]

exquisite poetry. deeply poignant, thought provoking, and melancholy. Well done.

[Kelley Pascoe]

You have a great way at looking at things. I loved the poem. I would like to be able to think like that.
Great write Ralphy!! Thanks for sharing.
Kelley Frost

[Kat_apult]

Very pretty and melodic in both words and thought! Deep in emotional current, your poem is like a ponderous philosophical question posed by many throughout history; the "what-if's" of a past decision. Your metaphors are spot-on that require the reader to question for a moment their own reality. Your imagery is beautiful and combines harmoniously with your main point. Well done! :)

[[untitled]]

This is gorgeous. I can feel your lonliness and it makes me want to hug you! Good write hon!

[Touché Armada]

Nice, I might be feeling a bit too bland right now to review right now.. But I'll give it a little whirl.
As I see this (which is always off kilter) the opening few lines, to me it seems very prison like and as though there are not comforts such as a blanket which would ordinarily have a person wake feeling somewhat embraced. The screaming and ringing to me amplifies the thought as angry and bickering and distressed people and the ringing I could liken to the sound of metal clanking and resonating. Something like a first night in prison or the first night alone after a long time of company. Still I tend to think of a holding cell.. Sorry just do. Perhaps leading into questioning over a possible crime.. A crime of the heart perhaps. The milky cloud is interesting I'd say smoke but its just not all wholesome like milk... So it makes me want to think self medication, which would churn one's mind and still the words beyond the wanted whisper. The rest sounds like the result of all the above.. Inner dialogue no longer able to reach its intended ears... It leaves a very empty result. Nice write.. but of course it could simply be saying all these little things look at them because they make up something much bigger and all too necessary in the greater scheme of things for a rosy over all picture.

[Dani California]

Oh wow! This is magnificent. Your metaphors of a single blade of grass, a single grain of sand, water...rays of sun... are powerful! Each single blade - only together - make the lawn. Each grain of sand - only together - makes the beach, and so on. Without the singles...there is no whole, and the whole is what breeds tomorrow.

There is so much more to this poem but my review would become so long it would be obnoxious. lol So I'll just touch on it with the above and let you know once more.... this is fantastic.

Definitely adding to favorites. You're an amazing writer....

[desertraven]

I could not have said it better than Michael! Wow! Beautiful piece!
Sandra

[Wanda S. Paryla]

This is excellent and most profound. Great imagery and use of metaphore and analogy. As I read it, it played out in my mind as a silent film. I can see many things as films, but silent one...now that's something. I don't think I've ever said that about a piece of work before. You paint thoughts in this poem as one paints on canvas. Not to mention, it's also nicely written, the font gives it ambiance, and grammar is professional. Wonderful job.

[Chiquita]

Simply beautiful. This has spoken to me today. I have been carrying a heavy load by myself for a long while. What this says to me is: A single blade of grass can not conceal the whole lawn, a single grain of sand does not make the entire beach, a lonely drop of water does not cleanse the entire ocean. Not every flaw in this lawn is my fault. Not every comfort of the beach is my responsibility to provide. I can not single-handedly fix what is wrong with the ocean called my reality. I can only do what I can do.

The amazing thing about writing is that it meets the reader where they are at. You penned these words for a purpose known only to your heart, yet it touched mine in a very personal way. The message that you sent to me may never have been the message intended to go forth. Still it has made a difference for me. Likewise, my life may not be what I intended it to be. I hope I can touch someones life the way mine was touched today by your words.

[Wildfleour]

I found the type (font) an interesting contrast to the confused thoughts being described. I find the poem a bit confusing, but after reading it over again I believe it is about the need for feeling connected. Isolation is not the way to thrive.