Different

Inspired by my friends at Writerscafe

 

Different

I’m different

I see with visions as your liquid thoughts carpet the paper

You words like the eyes of my mind, your views like the hands of my soul

Your breath like the breeze swooping down a shady oak tree on a warm summer day

The whispers that snare to my ears, captivates my mind’s wavy drift as I await

 I fade deep into your world with a harmony embrace… sealed in a gentle kiss… pressed upon your face

I feel your passion as it sweeps me off my feet as I grow fainter deep into a sleep

And as the treasures you release caresses my heart I crave the beat of a rare mellow treat

I wish it to continue as my eyes begin to flicker so I ponder ideas in a world that speaks to me without wither

The language which I love is walking your thoughts from deep, down your soul…a potential black hole

When I reach the end of that last fluid drop, I want so badly for it to stay with me and not to stop…

I cry tears of pain, crouch to the floor and say to you, please …give me more …of your mind to adore

Yes for sure I’m different

Author's Note

Some food for thought

Reviews

[None]

I like the author's note, too. :)

Mmm, a poem, or another name for mental morsel. That's what conjures in my mind when I read the words of your poem: a mental morsel. Like that favourite piece of chocolate that you've been saving 'til last, and you finally ingest it, and the explosion of flavor on your tongue is incredible. That is the feeling of this poem. I rather like this line, "Your breath like the breeze swooping down a shady oak tree on a/warm summer day" But since you are speaking of the mind, it would have been nice to have had the expression applied to the mind. For example, "Your breath like the breeze swooping down the shady oak tree planted in the forest of my mind." (or something. I can't quite capture your style, but I hope my example suffices) And I say this, because I comprehended the meaning of the word "breath" to be synonymous with consciousness or imagination. And I love the use of the word, "swooping." So this breath swooping through your mind, is a beautiful abstraction. The one thing I ponder, is why you are different? I can't figure that part out. Oh! Perhaps, it is the way in which you comprehend another's words (or mind or ideas)? This line, "The language which I love is walking your thoughts from deep,/down your soul...a potential black hole" Although, beautiful; after everything I've read up to this point, I would not think a potential black hole (as a black hole supposedly sucks everything into it), it would seem that these liquid thoughts would be pushing out with incredible energy, rather than sucking everything down into so-called infinite density? I like the way the words flow, though. I must end this lengthy review (my apologies) with a quote, "give me more...of your mind to adore." Your way with words is humbling and tantalizing.

[JC Fox]

Well the poem certainly is different, good job with it

I like how there is a good pattern. This pattern is unique as well.

There is also the distinctive use of appropriate fonts. There is value with using appropriate fonts to set appropriate moods and better impart the message.

You also use good rhythm and good choice of words in presenting the imagery in the message.

That is all about the form so far.

The very essence of the poem and its message has been imparted well. This writing has soul.

A very good read.

[!!..Love..!!]

Oh man! I loved it, the flow is so soothing and impressive! and it's always nice to see when writers get inspired by writes of other writers..
Nice read! ^-^

[[untitled]]

This is so good. Very nice work my friend very nice

[Constance]

The tie that binds me to the farmer who has captured my heart is in the many ways in which we are different from others, but alike one another.
This was a very sweet read for me, and it flowed nicely, as though it just flew off your pen, out of your soul. Thank you. It was greatly enjoyable.

[youngwriter222]

Being different is good for everyone, being the same would be no fun. The rythem and flow that your words had caught my attention quickly. It was written very well.

Sarah

[justjenn_2u]

Different is good! I love the complexity of your thoughts in this piece. So thought provoking and profound. Love the flow of words and my eyes danced down this page. Way to go, my friend!

[Deborah Shepard]

beauty as all, one in visions of souls encounterd

[Jessica L Auster]

In it's entirety, this was very peacefull.

"I see with visions as your liquid thoughts carpet the paper"

That was probably my favorite line of this as a whole, because it got me captivated. I wanted to read more and I'm glad I did. This was a wonderful write! Keep everything up!