Bedside Manner: Chapter 2

                Nicklaus couldn't help but feel that his bride-to-be…

                "I do."

 

                …his wife " had no idea what she was getting herself into.  Then again, perhaps she didn't have nearly as much to fear as her new husband did.  It felt so bizarre for Nicklaus to call himself such, too, even if only in his own mind.  It felt as terrifying and rushed as 'fiancé' had been, to be honest " more so, even.  His uncle had seen to that.

 

                Gunar liked her so well.  He always seemed to be courteous and even complimentary to her.  The chores that Nicklaus had done around the house by himself for six years were suddenly worthy of the older man's gratitude " because they were being done by her.  He almost always had a smile or a kind word for her, and she never seemed ill-at-ease around him.

 

                All through their (very rushed) courtship, Nicklaus had waited for a bruise to show up on Sofia's body.  He never saw one.  Even stripped bare on their wedding night, she had looked perfect.  Everything about her was beautiful " her hair, her skin, her eyes, her shape, even the slightly nervous, but encouraging smile she offered her new husband.

 

                Nicklaus was terrified, which did little to improve the prospects of consummating their marriage.  The truth was, he was at a complete loss for what to do.  He knew the mechanics of it, of course, and it wasn't his first time.  It was, however, his first time with Sofia, and she was just waiting patiently for him to do something.  The feeling of his heart pounding in his chest wasn't terribly conducive to ordered thought, though.

 

                Kathrin had known exactly what she had wanted.  Not only that, she had possessed the confidence to find and take it.  There had never been much questioning or second guessing as to what she wanted.  Nicklaus hadn't realized until she had already gone, however, that what she had been after was a naïve young man with a strong body, a handsome face, and plenty of energy.

 

                Sofia was something of a mystery, though.  She was practically a stranger to Nicklaus, and not nearly as willing to volunteer information about herself as Kathrin had been " not that that was difficult.  It made casual, let alone intimate, conversation nearly impossible, though.  He hadn't ever even had many friends to talk to, really; what, or how, was he supposed to discuss with a spouse?  How did one go about having pillow talk with a stranger?

 

                He should have tried to say something.  After all, men weren't supposed to be shy and nervous, they were supposed to be bold and assertive " right?  Gunar had made it very clear, in fact, what it was what real men did.  A real man had sex with his wife on their wedding night, and 'only a child or a queer' would question that.

 

                Nicklaus wasn't bold and assertive, though.  He had been 'that one kid' all through primary school " the undersized teacher's pet that was easy to beat up, and terrified of girls, and just about everyone else.  Some of those things, at least, hadn't changed.

 

                His heart was still pounding, and his throat felt almost unbearably tight, and he didn't want to admit that his hands were shaking just a little.  He was still trying to think of something to say, or to do.  His stomach was tying itself in knots, though, and all he managed was a rather inarticulate, "um…"

 

                "You're tired," Sofia replied, offering a small, sympathetic smile.

 

                Was it that obvious?  Of course it was " Nicklaus was absolutely exhausted, and she probably was, as well.  It had been an extremely long day " an extremely long several weeks, even.  His body felt like it was going to give out beneath him.  "I'm sorry," he finally said, and he wasn't entirely sure what he was sorry about.  There were a lot of possibilities to choose from, including having no idea what his wife wanted.

 

                She just smiled again, though, and maybe looked just a little relieved.  "It's fine," Sofia started, "I am, too.  We don't have to…"

 

                Gunar would have thought otherwise.  The door was locked, though " and it felt so odd to Nicklaus to be able to get away with that.  His uncle had been very clear on what the younger man's plans for the evening were, and had since retired to his room.

 

                Sofia offered another small smile, one that, admittedly, seemed rather tired.  "You should get some sleep.  We both should."

 

                "We should," Nicklaus replied, giving a hard swallow, and a little nod before finally, quietly, lying down.  A rare sense of relief washed over him, and it was only the resultant aches in his body that made him realize just how tense he had been.  He was still tense, though, once he settled (tried to settle) under the covers.

 

                Once the man did lay down, his limbs seemed to turn to rubber.  They didn't want to respond, and that was just fine because, really, he didn't want to move them.  His racing heart was even, finally, starting to slow.  His mind was still racing, though.  There were so many 'what ifs', and uncertainties, and they were all tangled together in a jumbled mess, and Nicklaus barely had the energy to think about them.  As tired as he was, though, it didn't seem right to go ahead and just let himself fall asleep.

 

                "You uh…" he trailed off, nerves and exhaustion making it difficult to think of something to say that wouldn't somehow be wrong.  "You looked nice today.  I mean- you still look nice.  What I meant, was…"  The words kept catching in Nicklaus's throat, and his face suddenly felt rather hot, and he was just making a fool of himself, wasn't he?

 

                Sofia just chuckled softly, though, and offered a small, indulgent smile.  "It's okay," she insisted.  "I know what you mean.  And… you are very handsome."

 

                Nicklaus's face seemed to get warmer at that, and he ducked his head just a little.  He managed a quiet thank you, and a small, rather nervous smile of his own " and then couldn't really think of anything else to say.  Nothing, at least, that wouldn't wind up coming out very stupid.  Then again, he couldn't really think of much of anything.  Hell, he could barely keep his eyes open.

 

                Given the relative stillness, and the relative quiet, it didn't seem too long before Sofia had fallen asleep.  It was only a few moments longer before exhaustion claimed Nicklaus, as well.

 

                ...don't screw this up.