man means rape

a palindrome

I was raped

stolen childhood, born concrete and old

                     but

Victim. Not, am I!

I am casualty, a calamity
of war, 

stigmatic conformities

Conformities of man

conformities of genders

naked as ghosts

skinless, heartless

colorless

stories scaring children, 
becoming monsters 

I was raped

Early aged
breathing lies, becoming air

of lungs filled with empty promises

baseless instincts, repulsive impulses
creating comforts,
wastelands of opportunity 

stifling minds free to choose

but

flawed, are we.

Stripped, bare 
innocences fleeting 

I was 

raped

Peeled flesh

Hands *his*
mind mine, heart mine, soul mine
and gone am I
*I am that of

heartbreak*, 

of shell and bone 

am I.

dust 
grinding teeth 
breath stagnant with rancid intentions
lies and betrayal, whispered softly 

branded, flesh

Have I conformed?

Stone, weighted heavy and hard, am I
unforgiving and sinking

I am genderless
not conforming
victimized but, not victim
drowned but, not sinking

Raped was I

?Me, still 

I am

REVERSED 

Am I 
still me?

I was raped

sinking not, but drowned.
victim not, but victimized.
conforming not,

Genderless, am I.

sinking and unforgiving,
I am hard and heavy weighted stone

Conformed, I have.

flesh, branded
softly whispered betrayal and lies
intentions, rancid with stagnant breath
teeth, grinding dust
I am bone and shell of
heartbreak
heartbreak; of that, am I.

I am gone and

mine soul, mine heart, mine mind
his
his hands, flesh peeled

raped, was I

fleeting innocences, 

bare, stripped

we are flawed.

but

choose to free minds stifling opportunity of wastelands,

comforts creating impulses, repulsive
instincts, baseless

promises empty with filled lungs of air becoming lies, breathing
aged early.

Raped, was I!

Monsters becoming
children scaring stories

colorless, heartless, skinless

ghosts, as naked genders of conformities
Man of conformities
Conformities, stigmatic;

war of calamity,

a casualty, am I.

I am not victim!

but

old and concrete born,

childhood stolen

Raped, was I.

Author's Note

* (ASTERISK) * implies repeating of a word to complete a stanza or a tendril of thought, or an expressive pause.

Reviews

[YouoweYoupay]

I was startled upon reading the first version and I was beginning to understand more with the second (reversed) version. The repetition: I was raped/ Raped, was I! " is a powerful scream for justice.

The same person, going through the journey differently in each version of the poem. At first, the poet is shaken, broken but faith remained, or maybe just the ghost of it. In the second round, the poet is lost and mortified. Mourning the death of his or her childhood.

In both versions, the poet had survived a monstrosity that cannot be forgiven. And sharing this pain with the world is, the way I see it, a gift. Maybe even a milestone closer to healing and salvation.

I enjoyed reading both variations. Some of my favorite lines:

I am bone and shell of
heartbreak

Thanks for sharing,

Never stop writing!

~Aysha

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

AMAzing confronting thought provoking and very well written interesting tragic yet strength within I loved this
ThAnkyou for being so open and honest about a terrible crime

[Elizabeth]

The tone of the poem sent chills down my spine. The poem isa cry of help and simultaneously is reassurance that rape does not define anyone. The reversed poem was genius and a very unique way of expressing oneself

[John Alexander McFadyen]

This is a sad, angry and justified indictment of the man who raped you but often love and hope come from realising that life is still yours to command. And that vengance and hate are not good guides to the earth.

[mattavelli]

Hello, J.B.! :)
This was an interesting read. The phrasing is unique and the topic and word choices send a strong message.