Broken Down

They're two different stories I wrote a while ago (on deviantart) that I tweaked up a bit to make one single story.

 

There he was, across the hall from me. The one I secretly admired. I hid behind my book, the affection that's dying to get out. He looks my way as his friends point at me, they all laugh as my face turns red. What might they be saying? Did I not hide my feelings well enough? Do they know what is true, with out it ever leaving my lips? I had only one way to vent my feelings with out screaming them.. I though for a moment, as I notice a notebook in one of their hands. I stand from where I am, quickly moving away. I go to my friend, I had let read of my affections for that guy. "Where is my book?" I ask quitely. She looks up at me as if I'm an idiot. "I gave it those guys," she pointed in their dirction. My cheeks brun, with both embarressment, and anger. I now know why they were laughing.

The one I've hidden my feelings from nears me, trying not to laugh. "You...?" He said bursting out with laughter.

 

My eyes begin to water, what was so wrong with the feelings I have for him? "You like me?" He asked trying once again not to laugh. With great regret I nodded my head, I will not lie, even if it means my heart will be broken for ever more. He bursts into laughter once again. "Oh, my god! Your a f*****g freak, a f*****g emo freak! How the hell could you like me!?" He said still laughing.

 

Nobody knew what exactly those words would do to me. They think that it will do nothing, but my heart races as I look at the ground. But he's not yet finished. "Damnit, your a f*****g w***e, aren't you!?" He looks to the class, calling for attention. "Hey, everybody, the emo freak f*****g loves me." He spits out the word love, as if it were to kill him. "This f*****g emo w***e thinks she can have me!" The whole class burst into laughter.

 

The teacher enters the room, calling attention to the class, everyone quiets down. Though I remain standing, not able to move. The tears are flowing from my eyes now. "You, sit down!" The teacher calls to me. I still don't have the strength to move, I know I'm about to get in trouble. No one can see I'm crying, my long black hair was shielding my face from everyone views.

 

The teacher makes her way over to me, ready to scream at me. Once she gets there and her screaming starts up, that's when I know. I will not stand for this, no I will not. I look up at her, wiping away the black tears. I hate make-up, but he said he loved a girl in make-up, so I had started to wear it. "I've had enough of everyone's s**t! I'm not going to get into trouble for being bullied day after day without anyone trying to stop it, without any adult f*****g caring!" I scream at them. "You will all regret everything you've done!" I turn to my so called friend. "And you! I f*****g trusted you! You gave away my every secret to those f*****g jerks!" I scream, the tears running down my face again.

 

The boy I loved looked at me as if something had just changed. As if I somehow became a goddess, but I didn't care anymore. He bullied me, he broke my heart, and you know what, he was going to get everything back. I leave the classroom, everyone speechless. Next thing I knew, I was a home. Thrashing everything. I wasn't going to let this go, no everyone would pay, everyone.

 

So I locked myself away for days. Until everyone's trying to call, maybe to apologize? By then it was to late, the plan had already began to formulate.

 

Steal, moving painfully across her wrists. Pushing skin to the side, letting her long lost lover free. Blood. As skin parts, it turns to the purest of whites, only to be overcome by the devastation of her crimson sin. The filth flowed steadily down her wrist, giving a rhythm to her heart beat.

 

Thousands of stars, white as snow, covering the floor. All made by her, to push away the need of steal against her skin. Every pure moment ever tainted, folded into stars. Every star began to turn red and black. Her sin ruining all that she had lived for.

Her face, covered in black tears, thoughts of him coming to mind. How she had lost him, what his presence use to bring..

 

With memories of him, ruining her thoughts, causing her tears, made her need the steal. Close to finished with the self-mutilation of her arm, she moved down, began to cut open her legs, letting her close friend take over. This girl was already damned to hell, “Might as well go out with a bang” she thought to herself.

 

The pain that she had wasn’t great enough. From the pain he put her in, only she could save herself! Shaking, her hand went over to the gun. “……This, it's for everything all of them have ever done. They will be sorry for everything they did.”

 

Pointing the gun to her heart, she pulled the trigger, falling back her lifeless body oozed with the sin she had committed.

 

Before she had lost every ounce of consciousness, she felt a large gust of wind pass by her. Sweeping the stars away, saving her from the filthy sin that held her down. Only to uncover the ripped in half paper heart dyed red from her blood, carefully tucked under her wrist.