Moonlight

I wrote this for an English class my first year of college while my dad was still in Iraq.

The room was bathed in darkness, save for the sliver of moonlight desperately reaching through the gap in the curtains.  Barely noticeable, a small girl lay trembling wrapped in a cocoon of soft quilts.  Silent tears fell in rivers down her freckled cheeks and landed softly in the folds of fabric.  She hugged her only companion, a small teddy bear, close to her chest.  Her bright blue eyes stood out sharply against her snow-white skin.  Long, slightly mussed hair gave the child an angelic appearance, if it weren’t for the unending tears.

            Alexa hadn’t slept well in weeks.  The beautiful canopy bed made her miss her small princess bed at home.  Pictures of herself and her father smiled at her from every nook and cranny in the large room.  Soft yellow paint adorned the walls, and everything a little girl could want was stacked neatly on shelves and in a beautiful trunk at the end of her bed.  She appreciated the nice things, but she missed the small apartment that she shared with her dad.  It was barely big enough for the two of them, but it had been home.  The simple white walls and the sparse furnishings danced mockingly through her every dream.  She missed sitting on the narrow steps watching her father help keep up the yard and the way he’d wave up to her and call, “Lexie, I love you sweet princess.” 

He called her when he had the chance, which wasn’t very often.  She longed to feel his strong arms around her once more and hear him call to her, “Lexie, love, let’s go to the park!”  With eight-year-old eagerness, she would slip her small hand into his and together, the duo would walk to the park.

            “Daddy!  Let’s fly to the moon!” she called as she raced to the swing set.

            “Lexie, princess, I’ll race you!” he would take off after her.  Giggling together, the two of them raced to the swing set.  Settling into the swing, Alexa smiled.  Bryson lifted his daughter, swing and all and let them fly.  Catching her breath, Alexa giggled, “Daddy, swing with me.”  For hours, father and daughter laughed and sang as the swings glided back and forth.  Now, all of that belonged in the past.

            Alexa gazed out the window longingly.  The moon smiled down on her with loving pity.  Sighing, Alexa drew her blankets more tightly around her and began to sing softly.  Memories washed over her as she sang.  Shutting her eyes tightly, Alexa stopped singing and whispered, “I love you, daddy.”

*           *           *

The yellow bus pulled slowly to the curb and the doors slid open.  Bryson stood on the lawn waiting for his princess.  Alexa bounced down the stairs, blonde hair flying out behind her, and flew into his outstretched arms.  Bryson lifted his princess and carried her into the apartment.  In the back of his mind, Bryson knew that Alexa was getting too old to be carried around, but she was all he had left in the world. 

After five years on active duty in the Army, he met and fell in love with Annie.  Annie was beautiful inside and out.  Her kindness and unconditional love had helped him through the rough times and healed his heart and soul.  Together, the two of them worked through the pain and had become stronger because of it.  On a cold, clear night in December, their baby girl Alexa was born.  Four months later, Annie lay six feet beneath the cold hard ground and Bryson and Alexa were left alone.  No other family existed.  Devastated, Bryson had taken his infant daughter and moved into a small apartment where the only reminder of Annie was in his blue-eyed princess.

            Bryson listened to his daughter explain in great detail her day at school.  With a warm chuckle, he plopped her down on the counter and began making her an after school snack.  “And then, daddy, I helped Susie draw a picture of a boat.  Mrs. Melencob said that it was good to help others.  We had fun!  Then, at recess, Bobby and Jarren were trying to chase me.  They chased Susie, too.  Well, the teachers outside gave them time-out for making us scream.  Susie laughed, and so did I.”

            “Heyo, can I interrupt for a minute?” Bryson asked as Alexa took a breath.  “You’re going to chat the walls off, silly Lexie.”

            “Oh, Daddy, you’re silly.”

            “I am?  Me?  That would never happen,” Bryson batted his eyelashes innocently.

            “Yeah, yeah.  Whatever,” Alexa scolded as she placed her small hands on her hips, trying not to smile.

            “Whatever?  Where did you learn that?”

            “Hee hee, from Susie.”

            “Oh, I see!  All right, what do you want for a snack?  We have Graham Crackers, or you can have Oreos,” Bryson peered inside the cupboards.

            “I want both!  DUH,” Alexa smiled mischievously.

            “Well, well, Lexie, my love, I do believe you are learning quite a few new words from that friend of yours.”

            “Yeah.  Susie is smart.  I like her.”

            “I bet you do.”

            At that moment the phone rang.  Alexa scrambled across the counter and scooped up the phone.

            “Hello?”

            Bryson smiled at his daughter and turned back to the cupboards.  As he set the treat on the counter, he glanced back up at Alexa and his heart pounded out of his chest as he saw her face pale and her eyes grow wide and frightened.

            “Just a minute.”  Alexa handed the phone to her father.

            “Who is it?  What did they say?”

            “It’s someone from the Army.  He said it was urgent regarding the war.”

            Bryson’s face paled immediately, “Lexie, go to your room.”

            Too stunned to argue, Alexa walked slowly to her room and shut the door.  She curled up in a small ball on top of her quilts and began to cry silently, fear racing through her soul.  The war had always seemed so far away, until now.  Alexa had stopped worrying that her daddy would be sent over.

            It seemed like hours until her dad slowly walked into her room and set her on his lap.  Alexa clung to him and began to tremble as the tears came faster.  Bryson rocked her back and forth.  “It’s going to be okay, Lexie.  It just has to be.”

            When Alexa found her words, she looked up at her daddy, “When do you have to leave?  And where will I go?”

            Bryson began to cry.  Alexa reached up and wiped away his tears.  “I love you Daddy.  No matter what, I love you.”

            The two of them held each other and stayed that way for the rest of the night, hearts breaking.  The next morning, Bryson began to make his phone calls.  He didn’t yet know where Alexa would go.  He had no family left, and he couldn’t leave his princess with just anyone.

After a long morning full of phone conversations and arrangements, Bryson had an idea.  His best friend Jesse and his wife Suzanne had never been able to have children.  Jesse and Suzanne were like siblings to Bryson and Alexa adored them.  She spent many hours with Suzanne shopping and doing “girl things.”  They would take her; he just knew it.

            Bryson picked up the phone and slowly dialed the number.  Jesse picked up after only one ring.

            “Hiya, Jesse.”

            “Hey, Bryson!  How are you?  I was just about to call you!  I was wondering if you and Lexie would like to come to our barbeque this weekend.  It’s just going to be Suzanne and I, so we’d love you to come.”

            “Jesse … I …” Bryson started to cry.

            “What’s wrong?  I’ll be right over.”

            “Thank you,” Bryson muttered and hung up the phone.

            Jesse burst through the door ten minutes later.  “Okay, Bryson, what’s up?”

            “I’m getting deployed.  I leave in thirteen days.”

            “Oh no!  Bryson, I don’t know what to say.”  Jesse froze and then sank to the couch.

            “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”  Bryson hung his head.

            “Lexie can come and stay with me and Suzanne.  I know Suzanne won’t mind.  We’ll take care of your apartment if you want us to.  You don’t have to worry about a thing, I’ll take care of it for you.”

            Bryson began to cry in earnest.  “Thank you.”

            The two men sat in the small living room for the rest of the afternoon talking, crying, and making plans.  When the clocked crawled towards three o’clock, Bryson and Jesse went out to greet Alexa.  Unusually silent, Alexa drifted past giving her father a mechanical greeting.  Her world blurred around her in a rush and all she could do was go through the motions.

Over the next few days, Jesse and Suzanne helped Bryson and Alexa pack up their belongings.  The apartment would be rented out in their absence, and their things kept in the storage shed at Jesse and Suzanne’s.  Their six-bedroom home was large enough to accommodate the extra storage and Bryson’s princess.

            The next thirteen days passed in a blur of activity.  Jesse and Suzanne each took a month off of work to help out.  Bryson and Alexa spent every possible moment together and Suzanne snapped countless photographs of father and daughter.  Bryson packed several of the pictures in his limited space.  The remaining prints were framed for Alexa to hang up in her bedroom at Jesse and Suzanne’s.

*           *           *

            The morning dawned bright and clear as the small entourage slowly made their way to the airport.  Alexa sat in the backseat of the car with her head in Bryson’s lap, blue eyes full of unshed tears.  Bryson stroked her hair as Jesse drove.  Suzanne sat up front wringing her hands.  Silence filled the small car and made it hard to breathe.  Warm air lazily wafted around the four bodies and the car rolled down the interstate.  As the airport loomed closer, the pain in Alexa’s heart grew larger, until she began to quiver.  Helplessly, Bryson held his daughter close as tears slipped beneath his eyelids and slid down his cheeks.  Little hands reached up and wiped his tears away, “Don’t cry, daddy.  Please?”  Alexa choked out.  Bryson just held her tighter.  The silence became thick again as all four began to cry.

            “Oh geez, we’re gonna turn this car into a lake,” Bryson chuckled softly.  This comment brought a round of tense chuckles.

            “Daddy, I can’t swim,” Alexa said a little too solemnly.

            “Oh, sweetheart,” Suzanne looked back, tears streaming.  Alexa only buried her face into her father’s chest and sobbed openly.

            “We’re here,” Jesse whispered.

            In surprise, Suzanne, Bryson, and Alexa peered out the window.  A sea of yellow ribbons, sad faces, and “support our troops” banners lay before them.  Husbands and wives clung to each other, children stood still, and tears trickled freely.  The four of them mechanically climbed out of the car.  Alexa held tightly to her father’s hand as Jesse and Suzanne carried Bryson’s luggage.

            Making their way towards the plane, Alexa slowly looked around her.  All of the other children had their mommies to look after them and comfort them.  Alexa had no one.  Eyes growing wide as reality descended upon her, she held back, frozen.  Too shocked to move her feet, or even to cry, Alexa stood trembling, realizing fully, for the first time, that she really was going to be all alone.  Bryson turned back as he felt his daughter’s hand slip from his.  Her trembling body and wide eyes scared Bryson more than any challenge he had yet faced.

            “Lexie, my love?” Bryson whispered.

            Alexa turned her gaze upon him and then she threw up.

            “Oh, sweetie,” Bryson cried, sweeping her up in his arms.  “It’s going to be okay, it just has to be.  I will come back to you, I promise.”

            Alexa only buried her head in his shoulder and went limp.  The tears would no longer come and she could form no words.  He’s all I have left.  I can’t do it.  Gently, Bryson stroked her hair and sobbed openly.  Jesse and Suzanne looked on helplessly.  All too soon, the commander called for formation.  Bryson transferred his princess to Suzanne’s open arms and joined his unit.

            Alexa covered her ears and shut her eyes as the men shifted into formation.  Strong arms pulled her away from Suzanne’s grasp and she gasped as her daddy hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear, “Whenever you feel lonely or blue, look at the moon and know your daddy is thinking about you.”

            “Oh daddy!” the tears came in torrents, “I will.  Don’t forget me, and I love you.”

            “Lexie, I love you more than life itself.  I will sing to you every night.  Just watch the moon.”

            With one last desperate hug, he pulled away and made his way to the plane.  Stepping aboard, he waved one last time.  Alexa lunged forward and screamed, “Daddy, come back.”  He blew her a single kiss as Jesse’s arms held her back.  Helplessly, Alexa watched her world, her everything, fly away.

            “Come on, Lexie, let’s get you home.”

            Solemnly, Alexa turned, “don’t call me Lexie.  I’m Alexa, and I’m not going home, I have no home.”

            Suzanne began to cry as she watched the small form walk across the parking lot and climb into the car.

            “Jesse, what are we going to do?” Suzanne cried.

            “Suz, we’re going to pray, and we’re going to love her.  That’s all we can do.”  Jesse grabbed Suzanne’s hand and together, they took their best friend’s princess to their home.

*           *           *

            A wispy cloud moved over the moon as Alexa’s eyes fluttered open for a brief moment.  Alexa concentrated until she thought she could hear her daddy singing, “Somewhere out there, beneath the pale moonlight, someone’s thinking of me and loving me tonight.”

            She opened her eyes and sang back, “and even though I know how very far apart we are, it helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star.”  Pain enveloped her, and she gasped as she began to cry.  Curling up against the window, she pressed her wet face to the glass and watched the moon, her only link to her daddy.

            As the moon rose higher in the sky, Lexie the princess drifted off to sleep.  The innocence etched into her face hid the secrets of her pain.  Moonlight spilled through the window and held the small girl securely in her beams.  For, in sleep, Alexa was safe, wrapped once again in the loving arms of her daddy.

Reviews

[Bubo]

Such a beautiful but deeply sad story, this poor child coping now without her father and no Mother.
The bond of the father/ daughter is filed with love, and that shone through, a special connection, no child should have to see her father go to war..........I so hope we see a reunion in a follow up.
An amazing emotional write.

[Theresa]

Your imagery is just amazing, you really make the story come to life. I could feel the characters pain and my eyes started to water up when they had to say goodbye. As I was reading all I was thinking was: please don't let the father die. I like how you ended it and I think it gives you plenty of room to expand on this if you chose. I would love to know what happens next for the father and his princess. Great story. Loved every second of it.

[SM Davis]

I don't know how much more I can add. This is excellent Dez!!! Your character development is superb here!!!

[Emily B]

oh, wow! Dezaraye, I missed this completely. It's beautiful. Touching. Awesome. Thank you for writing and sharing it here.

[An Ordinary Woman]

You descriptions and dialog gave me goosebumps, I've never been close to my Dad, he lets no one close enough to see he is human.

I really like how your beginning ties into your ending too- just thought I'd point that out. This is VERY well written.

[Creepy Swine Guy]

Uhhhh ... wow! You really hit a nerve. That was REALLY difficult to read. I don't think I've ever read anything that affected me so. Only the open ending preserved my sanity. Whew.

Top shelf and a favorite.

One little niggle. You have "clocked" where I thing you might want "clock"

[Lee*]

A touching story that highlights a lot of the real pain many are experiencing today. You've do a good job of demonstrating the child's perspective. For many of us it would be a situation difficult to imagine.

[George Love]

Okay, this is a sweet story, but I think it can be better. Bryson is almost feminine, but I think you are portraying his love of his daughter by showing how vulnerable he is. I think I would have introduced Suzanne as the empathetic ear before introducing Jesse. I love the way you ended this, and it looks as if this story could go places. It is very sweet, very nice and very warm.

[All faded blue]

Great story. The only question I have is about the "pain of heart, and why Annie had to "heal" him from the rough times? Maybe a little more detail on that, and hopefully there will be more to this story later?????


blue

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

This is well written , such good images you write .. i can see the room , the people..
Such a sad story but life can be like this ,,you wrote this well , alot of emotion and sadness i felt reading.

Chloe
xoxo

[C.m.v]

I hate to echo my fellow reviewers, but they say it perfectly. This is a very touching, sad, emotional piece.
You wrote it beautifully! Your writing is always clean and precise, very easy to follow and definitely earns respect. Kudos!