Conjured Evil

Curiosity kills the cat! - Short film

                              FADE IN:

               INT. SMITTY’S HOUSE - DUSK- SCENE 1

               Camera, top view, pans down on interior layout. JOSH and
               BRODY are seen in the hallway, peeking in rooms as they
               pass them. Camera pans around an empty bedroom. Dusty books
               papers, drawings scattered about.

     JOSH
                              Hey, in here.Smitty’s room

               SMITTY'S BEDROOM- DUSK- SCENE 2

               BENNY, DAVIN, and BRADY follow Josh into Smitty’s bedroom,
               poking around. Benny picks up a box with sketches of demonic
               figures.

     BENNY
                              What is this?

               JOSH, BRODY and DAVIN gather around BENNY. BENNY flips
               through sketches of demonic creatures.

     JOSH
                              It appears to be demons. They say
                              Smitty believed he lived with
                              demons. Said he talked to them.
                              Knew their names.

               BENNY continues to thumb through the box

     BENNY
                              Check this out! Sweet!

               He pulls a Ouija board from the box.

     JOSH
                              A Ouija board!

     BRODY
                              So.

     JOSH
                              So Lets talk to Smitty.

     BENNY
                              Do you know how to use one?

     JOSH
                              I think so. We'll figure it out

               All the boys sit in a circle on the empty floor, board
               opened in the middle of the circle, and they begin
               discussing how to use it.

     JOSH
                              Okay, everybody ready?

               All give a nod as Josh places the planchette on the board

     JOSH
                              Put your fingers on this and think
                              of something to ask.

               The group follows Josh's instructions.

     DAVIN
                              Wh-What kind of questions do we
                              ask?

     JOSH
                                     (Davin is
                                     Josh's younger
                                     brother. The
                                     baby in the
                                     family. He's
                                     disgusted that
                                     Davin is there.
                                     )
                              Why don't you just stay quiet.
                              Nobody wants you here. You're a
                              pest. So just do us all a favor
                              and shutup!

               Josh's head and eyes sweep around the room then stops. JOSH
               stands and walks toward small shelves in the corner, pushes
               a thin book aside and grabs a candle.

     JOSH
                                     Bro, still got
                                     those matches
                                     I gave you?

     BRODY
                              yeah, right here

               BRODY reaches in his pocket and pulls out a matchbook and
               tosses them to Josh. Josh returns to his seat and lights
               the candle.

               Camera focuses on group. Candle's light glowing on the four
               faces.

     JOSH
                                     (devious)
                              Shall we begin?

               The room falls silent. Each boy looking at the other
               solemnly.

               Camera focuses on Josh.

     JOSH
                              Uhh?

               Josh falls silent in thought.
                              Mr. Smith can you speak with us?

               Josh takes another pause. The planchette remains still.
                              Smitty?

               EXT. SIDEWALK - NEAR SMITTY'S HOUSE - NIGHT - SCENE 3

     TEEN GIRL #1
                              Did you see that?

     TEEN GIRL #2
                              See what?

     TEEN GIRL #1
                              It was like a moving shadow of a
                              tall man, under that light post.

               stops and points toward the light. Teen Girl #2 Stops.

     TEEN GIRL #2
                              I didn't see anything.

     TEEN GIRL #1
                              Huh...that's strange

               They cautiously continue walking.

               Camera pauses it's view on the two teens, as they walk away
               mumbling.

               and follows behind quickly and smoothly, taking a sharp turn
               onto the walkway up to the front door.

               INT. SMITTY’S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT - SCENE 4

               Camera moves quickly and smoothly through the empty living,
               down the hall,taking a sharp turn.

               INT. SMITTY'S HOUSE - SMITTY'S BEDROOM - SCENE 5

               Camera moves straight ahead to the group of boys sitting on
               the floor in a circle. Josh's back is facing the door.
               Camera centers in on Josh's back and moves in putting focus
               back on group and board. Camera circles around the backs of
               the boys until focused straight ahead facing Josh with
               group in full view. A black mist reaches around Josh like
               an arm and covers the hands on the planchette. The
               Planchette then begins to move in circles, gaining speed
               then stops suddenly. The boys move their hands away in
               astonishment.

               The candle goes out.

     DAVIN
                              Light the candle.

     JOSH
                              I am. Hold up.

               five second count in the dark

     DAVIN
                              Hurry, I'm scared!

     JOSH
                              Hold on, Tit!

               He strikes the match and lights the candle.

     BENNY

               Rubs his hands together excitedly.
                              Oh, yeah! We're back in action!

               CLONK, CLONK, CLONK (O.S.)

     BENNY
                                     (To Josh)
                              Dude, did you hear that?

     JOSH
                              Yeah...

               The group gets quiet and listens for more noise. They hear
               nothing more.

     JOSH
                                     (Somewhat
                                     nervously)
                              Everybody ready?

               The group silently agrees to go on, by slowly placing their
               hands back on the planchette.

     JOSH
                              Okay, shhh!

               Josh looks at each one in the group then continues to
               proceed.
                              Smitty, are you here with us? We
                              want to talk to you.

               The planchette remains still.
                              Smitty?

               The planchette begins to move in circles, then stops on "S".
                              S...

               The planchette moves again.
                              M...

               The planchette continues to move around the board, stopping
               on letters, until the entire message, Smitty is not here,
               is spelled out.

               The group looks around at each other in amazement.

     BENNY
                              If you're not Smitty, then who are
                              you?

               The planchette moves in circles, then stops.
                              Who are you?

               The planchette remains still.

     JOSH
                              Are you still here?

               Nothing happens.
                              S**t, we lost him.

     DAVIN
                              Can we go home now?

               Davin asks while starring down at the board

     JOSH
                              Would you wait a minute? I want to
                              try something.

     DAVIN
                              It's getting late. Mom's gonna be
                              worried.

     JOSH
                              Bro, what time ya got?

     BRODY

               Brody looks at his watch.
                              Ten till nine.

     JOSH
                              We still have an hour. Just chill.

     DAVIN

               Davin stands up and begins walking to the door.
                              I'm going home.

     JOSH

               Josh stands up and follows his brother, then steps in front
               of him.
                              You're not going nowhere.

     DAVIN
                                     (In a low
                                     voice, just
                                     above a
                                     whisper)
                              Josh, I don't feel right about
                              this. I'm scared.

     JOSH
                              There's nothing to be scared of.
                              It's just a game board. You're
                              just being a baby.

     DAVIN
                              I'm going home.

               Davin steps around Josh and heads to the door. The door
               slams shut.

     BENNY
                              Oh, s**t! Josh!

               Josh and Davin turn around to face Benny and Brody. The planchette
               is seen spinning in midair, before it's slung into the wall
               and crashes to the floor in pieces. Josh runs to the door
               and tries to open it, but can't. With his left foot pushing
               against the frame and pulling back on the knob.

     JOSH
                              The door's jammed!

     DEMON (O.S.)
                                     (a demonic
                                     voice that can
                                     be heard by all
                                     in the room)
                              Why are you here?

               The group looks around the room searching for the source of
               the voice.

     DEMON
                                     (Angrier)
                              Why are you here?

               A book flies across the room towards Josh, Josh ducks to
               avoid being hit. The book hits the wall. Brody and Benny
               run to meet Josh and Davin at the door. Benny pulls on the
               knob. The door remains closed. Davin begins to cry. The
               door swings open, throwing Benny backwards. Davin is lifted
               from the floor and thrown through the opened door into the
               hallway. The door slams shut again. The boys all run to the
               door and call for Davin and listen for a reply.

     JOSH
                                     (Half crying,
                                     half angry and
                                     fearing)
                              What do you want from us?

     DEMON
                                     (demonic
                                     laughter fills
                                     the room)
                              You're on my turf, in my home. Why
                              are you here?

     JOSH
                                     (sobbing)
                              We were just curious. We wanted to
                              see inside.

     DAVIN (O.S.)
                              Josh?

               Davin bangs on the door.
                              Josh?

     JOSH
                                     (yelling back
                                     to Davin)
                              Go home. Get dad.

               The door swings open and Davin is pulled in by an unseen
               source, the tips of his shoes slide across the floor. The
               door slams shut. Davin is dropped to the floor.

     DEMON
                              Tonight he dies.

               Demonic laughs echo throughout the room. Davin is lifted up
               from the floor again and is held in midair.

     DAVIN
                                     (screaming)
                              Oh God...Josh help me!

               Davin swings his feet wildly. The demon laughs as the boys
               try to reach him but fail.

               Davin begins to cry.
                              Josh... help!!

     DEMON
                              You piss me off!

               Davin is thrown across the room, hitting hard against the
               wall, bounces off and falls to the floor.
                                     (Sounds of a
                                     slowing
                                     heartbeat
                                     begin)

               The group run to Davins side. Blood pours from Davin's nose
               and mouth. He lays in his own blood.

     JOSH
                              Davin?

               Josh begins to cry.
                              Davin? P-Please don't die? Oh God
                              please...

               Josh lays his head on Davins chest and listens for a
               heartbeat.
                                     (the heartbeat
                                     stops)

               Josh lifts his head and looks up to the ceiling.
                                     (Yells in hurt
                                     and anger)
                              NO!!! NO!!!
        

               Josh lays his head on Davins chest and cries. The camera's
               view remains still for three seconds.

               Scenes are rapidly reversed back to the middle of scene two.

               SMITTY'S BEDROOM- DUSK - SCENE 6

     DAVIN
                              Wh-What kind of question do we
                              ask?

               Josh looks into Davin's eyes and see's his fear. The camera
               focuses on Davins face for a short time.

     JOSH
                                     (Sigh's,
                                     feeling
                                     sympathetic
                                     for his
                                     brother.)
                              I don't feel right about this.
                              Besides it's getting late and we
                              need to be getting home.

               Josh stands up. Davin smiles in relief.

     BENNY
                              Yeah, maybe another time.

               The camera pans out to top view. The boys stand up one by
               one and leave the room. The camera pans down to the center
               of the room, on the Ouija board. The planchette circles and moves to
               the word Goodbye.

                        FADE TO BLACK.

 

Author's Note

My first... So go ahead, tell me whatever you feel... but please do not make this your own little personal bitch session from years of built up aggressions... I promise you, I've got my own and I'm not afraid to let you have it!

I was a little unsure about a lot of things, so if you see where corrections are needed, please don't hesitate to let me know. Thank you... I hope you enjoyed it!

Reviews

[John Stussy]

Alright, here's my input, as honest as can be. This seems like it would be a short film if anything, I don't know if you're planning on continuing it, but I assume not because of how clean the ending was. The first thing I'll point out that you could do is actually place Scene _ for whatever scene it is, because in one place in the script it switches back to the view in Scene 2. Of course, I went back to look for Scene 2, and I couldn't find the designation, but reading on it's a familiar scene so I knew what was happening. Further improvements you can use are camera instructions, such as panning, zooming, etc. It seems boring to read it in a script but it really makes a difference when you see it onscreen. I would study those movements and manipulate them at their proper moments. Now, this kind of thing would normally be left to the director, though the screenplay writer can make suggestions as well to the style of lens that can be used, like blue tinting and such. I would use a grainy style with a faint yellow tint for Smitty's room, seeing as how it would make the light from the candle seem to stand out more. The shots outside the house I'd give a blue tint, makes it seem colder, less welcome. You are the screenplay writer, feel free to state everything you imagine. You have the power, use it to make your screenplay as specific as possible so there is more of a chance the product will come out just the way you like it.
The actions and lines you gave to the characters really did seem to fit them well, and I was able to understand their character types pretty well through what lines you gave them. Those parts were especially well done. I would imagine this film to be about 10-15 minutes long, a good short film. This was really well done for a first screenplay, congratulations on it! I hope that it works out well on film.

[Autumn Dawn Gorny]

Very well done, the scenes are well played out and can be easily pictured in the mind. What I like is the fact that it is a short film, yet has a underlining message behind it that goes on much longer.
I find that the only things missing is the:
1 Character descriptions, for example tell us that Davin is the younger brother when you introduce him: "DAVIN(15), is Josh's younger brother, the baby in the family. " Also after that you don't need to capitalize the names.
2. ___ stops and points toward the light. Teen Girl #2 Stops. Who stops and points?(yes sadly, even though it is obvious, you have to point it out)
3. Don't put in the camera angles, it pisses the tech and directors off! That's their job.
and lastly
4. If you want to go back to a scene just rewrite the scene heading and add the word flash back.

[Fenris Wulf]

yeah definately cut between scenes but overall since we spoke a bit about the project i know what you initially had in mind anyway. it is relatively easy to decipher and it paints a nice picture for me that i can transfer to film. just cut between scenes and i think this will do nicely. now this was good training grounds for the monster fest entry..i am very proud of your effort and excited for you to see what i do with it.
now lets get your creaive juices flowing for a larger project what do ya say? you in?

Brilliant! I love the build-up of the plot, how you formed the characters. And when I first saw the word Ouija, I was like heck yeah, I've always wanted to try out one of those. so the whole plot line really caught my attention.
The character of Davin amused me, because there's always going to be a character who's weak in comparison to another, braver one.

Okay, so my review totally completely sucks compared to Stussy's down there...I mean, bloody hell...Hahaha.