Long Way Down

Eyes leveled against me
in the dark
as I pretend to sleep

Pulling the covers
over my head
praying for dawn

Protect me from the monsters
under my bed
and behind your pupils

Will keeps me here
bound to purpose
and I hate him for it

Pushing up the volume
until my eardrums shake
with such a quick finish

We are all off
to wherever it was we were going
in the first place

A flinch
and a cough
snaps me back

I wish you were thirsty
so I could open my veins
and quench at least one desire

Disappearing in the moment
of your satisfied distraction
into a temporary peace

I could hide there
forever in the shadow of myself
reflected back at me

If only
you'd quiet down
and stop your awful staring

Just scream at me
and then at least
I could explain

You know something
I don't
and you lord it over me

Prying at my boundaries
while trying to trip me up
over myself

Embarrassing me
with feeble attempts
at placation

When the truth is not now
nor has it ever been
important to me

Not when it comes to those things
between you two
that make me cringe

Shifting my eyes
from side to side
in search of a deferment

The draft always catches me
in the cold parts
of this house

Halfway between the delusion
and the desire to matter more
than me and all this

A fight breaks out
place and pasture gone to war
and all that's lost along the way